▬How about a little story that includes these silly phrases?

Question

1. Hee Haw and whoopie do!
2. Well, it was ,you know...... HORRIBLE!
3. That is YOUR hand on my shoulder. Right?
4. Col. Mustard in the conservatory.
5. The Cockroach From Hell sends his regards.
6. The inspector thought that the interior decorator was a bit deranged..... But harmless.

BONUS PHRASE:

Well, Stanley. This is another fine mess you've got us into.

Answer 1

Col. Mustard was shown into the conservatory by the butler. As the silent manservant retired with his wet overcoat and hat, the inspector looked around and thought the interior decorator was a bit deranged when he designed the room, but harmless--there were no weapons, suit of armor, or mounted animal heads in sight.
Miss Scarlet swept into the room and paused by the door, half-swooning. "Oh, thank heaven you're here! It was- Well, it was, you know...HORRIBLE!" She reached up to remove a folded note from where she'd put in her bosom. "Look at this! Just look what I found in the kitchen."
He took the paper, noting it was spotted and damp as though grease had soaked one corner. Unfolding it, he read the note: "The Cockroach from Hell sends his regards. We have taken the pot roast hostage. Unless a large coconut creme pie is placed on the kitchen table in an hour, you'll never see the roast again. " Silently, the Col. thought to himself, well, hee haw and whoopie do! Her roast's are always too dry anyway. I certainly wouldn't give them a pie to get that tough stringy meat back.
Miss Scarlett had gone pale, standing stiff and still. "That is YOUR hand on my shoulder. Right?" she whispered. The Col. looked and a large shining roach waved its antenna mockingly from the ruffle around her neck. He knew immediately that it was the Cockroach from Hell, and fury filled his chubby body.
"You'll never get away with this," he told the bug, who replied haughtily,
"Why won't I?"
"Because the roast that your legions stole was doused with plum brandy. Mrs. White had poisoned that brandy when Miss Scarlet stole her best dress. This note has brandy in one corner, which means you touched the stuff and took it into your body."
The cockroach turned angrily to his minion on her other shoulder. "Is this true? Was it brandy?" The little bug nodded and as the poison began its work, the other screamed, "Well Stanley, this is another fine mess you've got us into!" and fell over dead.
The little roach sniffed. "I had no clue," it said as it died, too.