pregnant n scared?

Question

im 4 months pregnant and i just found out that my boyfriend/babydaddy may have another baby on the way i askd and he said no but he has lied to me b4 what should i do??and is it too late to have an abortion if necessary?

Answer 1

It is tooooo late to have an abortion. Honestly girl, what are you thinking even having unprotected sex at all with a guy who has lied to you about anything? Tooo late for that anyway and now you are really stuck huh?Where did you find out about this other baby? if you know how to track down this other girl then i would to ask her yourself as she has a right to know about what he is really up to. If he really is doing all this you really need to get rid of him and decide what you are doing about this baby. If abortion is crossing your mind, somewhere in your heart you know he is up to no good. you have a long hard road ahead of you if you have his baby on your own. At this poin the only alternative to abortion is adoption, as it is extremely hard in this world to raise a child with 2 people let alone 1. I don;t know if you are from canada or not but i would make sure that on the birth certificate you give thebaby his last name and make sure he pays you maintenance for that child every month. I don;t know how educated you are, but staying home after you have the baby has been cut down to 5 months for maternity leave and you almost starve to death on that income unless you hve a partner working. Then you have formula and diapers which are aHUGE expense, so you reallyt need to sit down and have a serious serious talk with this guy and ask him if he is going to be there for you and this baby/ If not you really need to start getting ready and get prepared for when the baby comes. If he isn;t around go to second hand stores get the bargain finder and you can fine quality items for way cheaper than buying new stuff as it can be very overwhlening with the price of everytning/. Confide in your mother or grandma or someone you really trust. This pregnancy thing is an emotional journey on its own let alone being scared and by yourself. REad alot, be informed about what is happening with you and your body, as it is a marvelous and beautiful thing that is happening inside you, and you can do this ! you can be a good mother. Or if you decide you can;t do this then you have to make sure you get your feelings out, and tell yourself it is ok, if you can;t do this, and love the baby enough to give it to a family who can provide the baby with everything it needs/ Future reference though, please next time get yourself on some contraceptives and use condoms no matter what! EVEn married men are out cheating, and not that everyone needs to use condoms, but at some point, getting pregnant and having a baby is a huge huge thing, and i know things like this happen, but if you were married or at least in canada living together for more than a year you are considered common law married and he is somewhat financially responsible for the baby and you whether he wants to be with you or not ( legally if you haved lived with him more than a year, you could go to court being pregnant and you would have a case especially if there is another pregnant woman here to go to court and you will get money EVERY month for the baby until the baby is eighteen. If yo think you aren;t going to be with him you can go to legal aid if you have no money or phone social services and ask then who you tqalk to about maintenance for the baby/ I am really sorry you are in this predicament, and i hope things work out for you take care

Answer 2

Why do you say "if necessary"? How can murdering a baby EVER be necessary?!!don't abort the baby! that is killing a baby and the infant FEELS every single part of the abortion, have you ever seen the movie "the silent scream"? Its a video of a baby being aborted and as its legs and arms are being scraped/ripped off it is crying out in pain. Your baby already has fingerprints and a heartbeat and is able to survive on its own (except with help for the underdeveloped lungs) by now if its born early. Abortionists and dr's make it sound like its not a big deal but it IS! I've done lots of research on it. Anyway, its not the baby's fault that his/her daddy sleeps around...once you have a baby you will think "how could I have even thought of killing you" they are the most magical miracles that can take place and you will NEVER regret having the baby.

Answer 3

I think it is too late to have an abortion. If you really don't want to raise this child, then put it up for adoption. There are so many people out there that would love to have a baby and can't. You didn't mention your age. If you are of working age and in good health, you can raise this baby on your own. It may be very hard, but you can do it. Don't get rid of your baby just because your scared. Also I don't believe that there is any shame in getting help from the state if you really need it. It's set up for people that need it to help make ends meet while they are trying to get ahead. As long as you don't make it a lifestyle it's ok. So take some time to think about what you really want and how you can get it. Do you live on your own, can you afford your own place, etc... There are a lot of options, maybe things that you haven't thought about yet. Things like if you can't afford a place on your own, maybe you know someone in a similiar situation and you can share rent on an apartment and work opposit shifts so that you can watch each others children, this way you don't have to pay day care either. This is just one idea that may or may not work for you. I just want to give you a little help of thinking outside the box. You should not get rid of your child out of fear. Fear is temporary, getting rid of your child is premanent.

Answer 4

Okay, take a deep breath. The life of this baby should not depend on whether or not the loser that got you pregnant is in the picture or not. This is all about you, the support system you have, and whether or not you can manage this pregnancy. You are past the point of having a standard termination of pregnancy. Many doctors wont do them past twelve weeks. You are now in the second trimester, sweetie. Having an abortion at this point is something to consider very strongly and carefully. I know you are scared, it's a big load to take on at your age. Not to put too fine a point on it, but too many kids just think about sex for the thrill and don't consider the consequences like these. So it's time to "put on your big girl panties and deal with it", as they say. The first thing you have to do is start prenatal care, if you haven't done it already (Start going to an obstetrician). When you're there, ask your doctor for the names of whatever community agencies they can think of that can help you get ready for the baby. Places that will help you with getting insurance for you and the baby, some that will give you diapers and baby clothes, some that will help provide healthy food for you, free childbirth preparation classes, and even transportation to your doctor appointments. If you're still in school, talk to your guidance counselor so that they can set up whatever services you will need to keep up with classes. With the right support, you don't need to be afraid of doing this alone. Good luck.

Answer 5

First of all...you ask if it is to late to have an abortion 'if necessary'...what would you deem 'necessary' is it just because you don't think you could cope on your own ..believe me there are plenty of people and organisations to help out there.
You also state he has lied in the past ..if you knew this why decide to bring a child into the world anyway, without trust you have nothing!
I suggest you spend less time worring about the father and what he has or has not done and concentrate on the child that didn't ask to be concieved in the first place.
I am not anti abortion, but i don't thinkl it should be used as a form of late contraception either!!

Answer 6

You can have an abortion up to 24 weeks but it's best for it to be done as soon as possible. If he's lied to you before there's a big chance he's lying again. Is there anyone else you know who may know what is really going on and whether your boyfriend is lying? Try and find out who the other woman is as hard as it may be as there could also be a string of women he's sleeping with too. Good luck.

Answer 7

It sounds like you are going through a really rough time. Just being pregnant is emotional enough and to have these types of things clouding your mind as well is not good. As hard as it is, you need to focus on a healthy mom and then you will have a healthy child ( mentally and physically). If you do not feel that this relationship is a stable one and you will not be able to care for this baby on your own in a very loving environment, you should look into adoption. There are many, many families ( including myself and I have 2 very beautiful children) who would cherish the opportunity to love a child in a stable home environment. These families are more than happy to pay for all medical expenses etc..... I would not have an abortion just because of the man in your life, you did this as well and you need to be the stronger person. As hard as it may be ( and I know it is hard) you need to get rid of all the "garbage" in your life and surround yourself with happiness, You don't know for sure that this is true anyway, so just let things ride and see where the journey takes you- do not get overly angry. Take care of yourself and if I can be of anymore help please let me know. God bless

Answer 8

very late already.. an abortion is right up til 3 months the max. the only choices you might want to consider are; 1) give birth to the baby then give it up for adoption. that way you wont be taking a life. 2) you got to find a private doctor to do a forced labour on you. instead of giving birth to a baby, you'll be pushing out a dead big lump of blood. its scary and may haunt you for the rest of your life, but its your choice. you may wanna convince yourself that you dont have to depend on the babydaddy to raise this child up. you could go to work and be a single mom. may you make the right choice, all the best to you. about your boyfriend, give him up. be expecting him to sing usher's confession part 2.

Answer 9

First of all, I would lose the baby's daddy. If he has lied 2 you before (and God knows who else) you can't trust him.

NO I WOULD NOT HAVE AN ABORTION. Instead, contact an adoption attorney (found on line or in your yellow pages) and talk to them. An adoption attorney can often get adoptive parents to pay your medical expenses and maybe even your living expenses as related to the baby. Please think about this. There are too many people out there who would be honored and happy to give your baby a home.

Please explore your options before making any decisions.

Answer 10

in england it is legal to have an abortion up to 24 weeks but if you really want one then you would have to do it soon because after about 17-18 weeks the only way to have an abortion is to give birth to the baby and have it still born which is your option up to 24 weeks,i think this would be a very traumatic experience though.
try and find out if he is lying and if you want to carry on with the pregnancy then do it without him if you feel you can...it will be his loss he will miss out and you will still be able to get financial help off him.
a lot of people might send you pointless messages that dont answer your question because you have mentioned the option of abortion....a lot of people dont like it when others mention abortion on here and feel it is their right to tell people what they should do.i think every situation is different,do whats best for you but try and make a decision very quickly!