my wife filed for divorce, even though she cheated on me, but the best deal on custody she is offering me is to pick one of the children to live with me, she only did this because our kids arn't close at all, and barely speak to each other. but i feel like i can't pick which one i want to live with me, does anyone have any suggestions?
2007-07-26 13:29:59 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
DO NOT SPLIT UP YOUR CHILDREN.
Get her to write down that offer on paper, and take the paper to your attorney. Then the two of you take the paper to court and tell the judge you want full custody of BOTH children....not only did their mother cheat on you, but now she's so callous to her own children that she's willing to split them up like they are pieces of furniture!!!!!
YOU GO get them!!!!!!! Good luck.
2007-07-26 13:52:46 · answer #1 · answered by lady_phoenix39 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
she was wise to file-it looks better for her in court. still, it was her transgression that led to the split, so it won't help her much. don't take her 'low ball' offer. someone else pointed out the biblical story about solomon offering to cut the child in half. sounds like this is a pretty close modern analog to that story except that this selfish woman is trying to dismember a whole family without even waiting for a wise judge to offer that. i bet that you'll get as much custody as you want. cheating on a spouse is breech(sp?) of contract as far as the law is concerned and that will no doubt weigh into things. really, though, your kids are the ones you should be most concerned about. they're going thru more pain right now than you are. their world is crumbling before their eyes. you could try asking them what they want, but i doubt that they even know. even though they don't get along very well, they need each other right now more than ever, so do everything you can not to split them up. sibling rivalry is normal. seperation will probably just make it worse.
2007-07-27 10:45:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I say as a father of these two kids, you shouldn't have to pick one over the other I say if you can't take both, then let the mother take them. maybe as a father you can get them back to beening close again. Just go to the court and get joint custody. How do you think these kids will feel it you pick, which one you want. The one that you don't pick will feel rejected. The kids had feeling, this could affect them badly in the long run. Good Luck
2007-07-26 13:44:44 · answer #3 · answered by dbrh_soto 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Try not choosing because its going to be hard ask your ex- wife to drop that claim and have joint custody so you can have both children because a child should not be raised without the birth father or their sibling because its just going to be hard for both not living with the mother o father and they might think you don't love that child that you didn't pick so when they grow up they are going to have the feeling their parents didn't love them that much and maybe in the future your kids might come closer to each other so ask for joint custody so you and ex-wife can be with both
2007-07-26 13:39:57 · answer #4 · answered by .:Wanda:. 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Ask the children. Why not take one 1/2 a year and the other 1/2 a year? Maybe one through the school term and the other the rest of the time? Im with you. It would be extremely difficult to pick just one. Why can't you work out that the kids spend 1/2 the time with you and 1/2 with her?
2007-07-26 13:33:53 · answer #5 · answered by pappysgotitgoinon 5 · 2⤊ 3⤋
First of all her cheating has nothing to do with her ability to parent. Don't let the anger you feel towards your wife's cheating interfere with you two being able to rationally negotiate a suitable agreement. Many divorcing couples spit parenting this way so no one has to worry about paying child support but still have the joy of raising their children. They usually switch during the summer months. You should sit down with your children and ask them which one wants to stay with which parent. You could also benefit be getting a mediator. Staying in the area is also another option to lesson the stress of adjusting. Just cause your kids don't get along now doesn't mean it will always be that way.
2007-07-26 13:49:15 · answer #6 · answered by answergirl 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
Sounds like she's offering you to pick out a pup from a litter! Do you really want them seperated even tho they don't get along? Siblings do that sometimes, ya know. If you really have to chose, I guess you can sit them both down and discuss it. Sounds like mom couldn't care less who goes and stays! Maybe it best to let mom have both or ask to have both, so you can help them sort out their sibling rivalry. Either way, spend equal and quality time with both, so they each know they're special!
2007-07-26 14:34:54 · answer #7 · answered by zen 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would ask them. However, you could also go to court after you get the one and sue for custody of both.
You might also want to consider offering her a switch deal. You have Child A and she has Child B for 6 months, then you have Child B and she has Child A for the next six months.
2007-07-26 14:00:54 · answer #8 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I am sorry that u r put in this situation but do not chose if u have 2 take all of them. B/c if u chose then the other r going to think that u love that 1 more then u love them. Sit & talk 2 them ask them what & how they feel about it and ask which ones want to come & stay with u. That's the only solution I can come up with.
2007-07-26 13:37:33 · answer #9 · answered by pleasant 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Don't pick between your children but let your children decide who they want to live with if they are old enough to make choices besides your the dad pick both of them and not the ex wife to be.
All siblings fight but they are there for each other when needed and at this point with parents breaking up the children should not be broken up they need each other even if they want to kill each other they still need each other .
2007-07-26 13:35:17 · answer #10 · answered by wkemrer 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋