To moms out there...?

Question

Hi, I'm 17 and me and my boyfriend (whom I really, really trust) are both virgins and we would like to have sex, we both think that sex is something quite intimate and special to share with someone, especially for the first time.

So, I want to tell my mom that I want to have sex (but that will be next summer), that I want her to know and that I want to be safe...would she like to know that kind of thing, how would she react, and most importantly how should I tell her?

Only serious answers please, and nothing like "you're too young" stuff...

Thank you so much in advance:)

Answer 1

hi, good on you for being grown up enough to discuss this with your mum, i have 6 children, 4 are grown up ,and we talk about every thing,as a mother it is important to me to think that my children feel thay can come and talk to me , as I'm there Friend and would only give them my best possible answers, good luck susie

Answer 2

OK Sweety it goes,
I'm a mother and a Grandmother, but most importantly I am a woman of age.I was raised in one of the most interesting times, the 60's.
Tell your Mom you want to spend the day with her, take her to lunch, walk in the park.Then start the conversation about sex, show her , not only in words but actions that you are responsible enough to make this decision, but you would prefer that she would talk to you as a woman,.Don't be too specific about the B/F, but tell her that you are thinking of being sexually active and therefore need her guidance.
Don't think it's all going to be roses, after all she is your Mom.
Take this into consideration as you decide.
Not only do you need to protect yourself: pregnancies, std's etc, but there is one other very important thing, people seem to forget, it's the emotional side of sex.
You are forging a bond with each and every person you have sex with.A piece of them travels with you through your life, and your relationships do change.
If things don't work out it's harder to leave, break it off, or end the relationship.
Make your decision wisely
Have a Blessed life and Good Luck to you.

Answer 3

Ok, I am a Mom of a daughter so I will answer your question the best I can. If my 17 year old daughter came to me and said she wanted to have sex, as much as it is something I wish would not happen, I know if I try to prevent it, she will just go and do it behind my back and then get pregnant. I would sit her down and try to explain that as much as I understand her needs, that she consider the repurcussions that can come from it. I would be glad to know my daughter trusted me that much to tell me and I would try to guide her the best I can. You are 17. I don't think you are too young. You are almost an adult. But remember this. If you are mature enough to have sex, then be mature enough to handle the circumstances that may arise (teen pregnancy). Be safe and use protection. And remember one thing...sex is not the answer to everything.
Sit down with your mom and tell her everything you just stated in your question. If you have a good relationship with her, she will respect your question and will try to guide you the best way she knows. But don't be upset if she goes off the wall. We moms can get that way about our daughters. One day you'll understand.

Answer 4

A similar thing happened to a friend of mine with her 16 year-old daughter. Girl announced she was pregnant by bf, but she was "okay with it." Mom didn't know she was having sex and hit roof. Step-father ranted; dad was called and hit roof.

Boy's family was hassled by the police. Girl lost cell phone and computer privileges, was sent to doctor and then hospital for weeks--basically for being out of control. Then girl was sent to boarding school 150 miles away. BF not heard from since two weeks after roof-hitting experience.

The mother above may think she can't do anything, but she could. Sometimes parents go to extremes to protect their kids from themselves--even if the kids don't agree.

The question of telling your mother (apart from the "shouldn't do it" message) hinges on what she's told you about sex at your age, how she's responded to other girls that she knows are having sex. You could try the old, "Mom, I have a friend" story--this works best if you give use someone she knows. Of course, that may not tell you what she'd do. As a parent, I'm a lot more sanguine about other people's kids having sex than my own.

Answer 5

Hi Sweety.
I am not a mom, I am an elder brother to many younger, and let me tell you , be honest with yourself first then go and be honest with BOTH your parents , HIS AS WELL AS YOURS.

I do agree that sex is something special, it really is one of the most beautiful things someone(2 people) can do, because it is called making love, Be honest with your parents, and from what I can see in your question is that your relationship with the people around you are true and honest. letthis thing not come and bite your *** 9 months down the line, thrust me it is heart breaking.

So, ask advice, use condoms, and have fun, make this the most beautiful thing you will ever do.

And remember, Chirlder are conceived this way..........LIFE


ps, have lots of beautiful fun times

yours sincerely

An elder Brother from South Africa

Answer 6

You definately need to talk to your mom. I wouldn't be too specific....like don't say "hey mom, I think my b/f and I are going to have sex next summer" You just need to say something like "Mom, I'm having a lot of thoughts about sex, and I think I need to be on the pill, just in case. " Assure her that you haven't had sex....and your not planning to....this is just a precautionary measure, just in case things go too far. You also need to use condoms, because of STD's. I know he's told you he's a virgin, but you never REALLY know. He may just be saying that because he knows you are, and he doesn't want you to be upset because he's not.

You sound very mature, and good luck with whatever you decide to do. I try not to give advice about going against your parent, but if your mom freaks out and refuses to get you the birth control, go to the nearest planned parenthood. It's better safe than sorry.

Answer 7

It depends on your mother. Some parents still believe that sex is for married people only. Some parents think that sex is for adults only. You really don't need her in order to be safe. It is never too late to have sex but it sure can be too early. If your mom thinks sex is just a recreational activity, you have nothing to worry about.

Answer 8

Ok... well its really hard to say b/c ur mom is different than other moms... no mom is the same... I personally would and wouldnt want to hear about that sort of thing... I would b/c i would love that bond between me and my baby, the bond that they can come and tell me anything and we can talk about it. I wouldnt b/c thats my baby and I dont want to think about that. But if your close to ur mom and u think she would be interested then go ahead and tell her. If yall r close. My mom would tell me to shut up and would not be intererested... guess thats y I have a 2 yr old! But if it feels right... then tell her! Good Luck!

Answer 9

I think your mum would be quite proud of your attitude towards this. I think that you should talk to your mum about it if you feel comfortable enough to do so, she maybe able to impart wisdom on you that you didnt know.

Sit her down when there are no distractions and bring it into converstaion, the main thing is that there is just you and her because interuptions could hinder the reasoning behind it all.

Answer 10

SOunds like a very mature question you are asking here...

What you need to ask is why do you want to have sex? Have you thought of the consequences of becoming sexually active?

At 17, you need to weigh out your reasons for wanting to have sex... and thumbs up for wanting to include your mom in your decision!