Write a funny paragraph w/ my fave words, earn 10 points!?

Question

Like a true word worm, I keep a list of my favorite words. I have several criteria for how a word might become a "fave," but I won't bore you with that. :) I'll just give a sampling of SOME words from the list, since the whole list is too long.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write a paragraph using these words. You do NOT have to use all of them; just try your best. :) The paragraph can be long or short, with many sentences or a few. "Best Answer" will go to whoever's paragraph is the most amusing/creative. *giggle*

Please don't worry about using the words in order; you can mix 'em up however you like!

agog
barracuda
biscuit
blimp
chigger
claymore
cupcake
drizzle
festive
fig
fling
gazebo
gumdrop
handbag
iridescent
jiffy
kleenex
larkspur
logorrhea
pantograph
parsnip
peapod
propitious
recompense
sergeant
sluice
snippet
solenoid
spree
twig
windswept

P.S. The reply by "s" made me realize I should've mentioned something before -- sorry about that! If you don't know a word's meaning, please look it up. :) Her paragraph is very funny & creative, but I kind of intended folks to use the words' actual meanings.

Example: "to logorrhea her" doesn't work, because logorrhea is a thing, not an action. (It basically means verbal diarrhea -- extreme talkativeness! LOL)

I know there are some obscure words on the list, but I promise you'll have more fun if you look 'em up first! :D

P.P.S. I was only thinking of claymores as in the Scottish broadswords, but Apocalyptic Demise reminded me there's also a bomb by that name. Cool! :) Well, bombs aren't necessarily cool, but it was interesting to see another use for the word "claymore".

Answer 1

Tommy, the chigger grew up an anomaly. His mother was a mosquito while his father was a ... chigger. Size comparisons aside, it happened, okay?!!? One day, his human host, James took a swim in the local water hole. The sheer force of the jump into the water caused Tommy to lose his grip on James' arm. He started to panic for he couldn't swim. Tommy had never been in the water before. What was he going to do? A barracuda who we shall call George was stirred by the splash caused by James' jump and swam towards the direction of the splash. Tommy felt it propitious to hitch a ride and latched onto George as he made a pass by him. James screamed upon discovering George and ran back to the shore and opted out of swimming for the day. Just as Tommy thought that no longer would he hear from James, he noticed James had logorrhea. That wasn't the case a minute prior to the jump but upon finding solace with dry ground, James began spattering word after word in such a jumble, Tommy couldn't make sense of what James was saying. That didnt matter anymore, for Tommy realized really quickly that he couldnt breathe under water so rather than merely latch onto his new host and consume the skin or scale in this case as he would normally do being half chigger, the other side of him, the mosquito in him caused him to draw on the blood of his host and gain access to the oxygen he so much needs at this moment. Tommy was quite festive until he found himself in this predicament. He continued sucking on his host; George was becoming annoyed at this point and became very itchy. He charged for the ground below and flipped to his side and began to rub his body along the sandy floor. Tommy began to worry and sucked even harder for he didnt wish to be dislodged. This action caused more than an itch for poor George, try a slight pain, which George jumped out of the water causing Tommy to fling from his body and he landed back on James. He was agog at this point but noticed that James was walking towards a larkspur and picked it up. A tear rolled down James' cheek as he began to sniff. James said, "This is such a pretty flower", and he pulled a kleenex from his pocket and blew his nose. He then sneezed upon the scent of a parsnip nearby. His sneezes at this point became uncontrollable so he began to run towards his home to get away from the scent. Tommy hung on for dear before he was to become windswept by the brief sprint up the path. James walked into the gazebo to get some much needed rest. It started to get dark and a slight drizzle began. James reached up to the ceiling to turn on the iridescent lamp. It made a loud pop and a snippet of James' past formulated in his mind and he felt he was a sergeant all over again from his time in the military. He reached over to the plate, his wife Jan had placed earlier in the day and took the biscuit from it. He had to get his mind into the zone. The light at this point finally lit. He started doing jumping jacks at this moment. He needed more of a charge and reached for the plate and took a fig from it and resumed eating. This wasn't enough so he took the cupcake. At this point, James felt like a blimp but the sergeant in him gave him the motivation to continue the struggle. While working out, he had to work out a plan to get rid of George, the barracuda. What better way than to create a sluice. This was going to require some ingenuity, at which point James decided that he was going to have to create a claymore as well. In addition to draining the water from the pond, he was going to blow George out of the water. He reached for his handbag sitting atop the table and pulled out his pantograph, a pen and some paper. The Rocky theme song, "Gonna Fly Now" all of a sudden plays in the background. James was now on a mission and found some wire to play the role of pullstring rather than a tripwire as a traditional claymore would have, he gathered a solenoid as well as some various other aritcles during this spree. He was no longer a pea in the peapod and in a jiffy, his creation was nearly complete. Another component for the claymore was his gumdrop. The gelatin consistency of the gumdrop was the perfect fuel for his brainchild. And the spark that would light the fuel. That would be a twig which he would attach the pullstring to. Theory has it, in James' mind would be that when he pulls the string, the twig would snap and cause a spark which would light the gumdrop (gelatin) and explode. After working out his plans on paper, he took the time to assemble his ideas. The night had passed and James had completed his inventions. Now to put them to use. He ran to the pond, placed his sluice into the pond and tossed his claymore into the water hole holding onto the pullstring. He cackles and yanks the string! So snaps the twig. Nothing happens and neither does the water drain. James screams and flails his arms violently and begins to cry uncontrollably. His inventions, neither the sluice or the claymore had done as he had anticipated. Tommy decides to recompense poor James for the effort and jumps off of James and seeks another host. Perhaps there is more to it than just placing a sluice into the water. Gee.

Answer 2

There once was a baracuda on a twig that got eaten by a segeant mother. She was hungry and her lazy husband would not go out and get any peapod cupcakes for her. She could not find anyone go and get her any more baracudas on twigs so she hired a sluice to go get her a snippet. However he misread the pantagraph and bought her gumdrops. Needless to say there was lots of kleenex needed and her parnsip house burned down. Alas a young man stood under the gazebo and he used his larkspur to logorrhea her and make her feel better. She then decided to go on a spree for solenoids which led to her recompence and iridescent new hair do. All made from jiffy peanut butter. Then came a dizzle from the fridge because her parsnip were protesting at the lose of their brother. Needless to say she went to the store again to buy more kleenex she was just about to reach for the box when her water broke and she woke up. It must have been those special brownies she had.

Answer 3

On my way to visit the Wizard, I stopped to admire Sergeant Claymore's garden. It was lovely. There were parsnips and peapods, and a juicy fig tree. A larkspur caught my attention with its vivid violet hue. It had begun to drizzle so I decided to rest awhile and eat my lunch under the gazebo. I pulled the carefully wrapped Kleenex out of my iridescent handbag to reveal my festive cupcake dotted with gumdrops. Almost too pretty to eat! It had been most propitious that I stopped at the moment I did because now the rain came down in torrents! I delighted in watching the windswept trees and was agog at nature's little fury! In less than a jiffy the rainy spree stopped! A chigger was feasting on a snail as I watched in fascination. Rivulets of water flowed gently down the sluice. How wondrous was nature! I grabbed a snippet of wild mint and
picked a few figs ,making a mental note to recompense Sergeant Claymore soon. Perhaps I would bring him some of my famous Blimpy Biscuits
I was off for the Wizard's again!! I happily crunched some twigs underfoot and sang merrily. Upon my arrival the Wizard was in a dither, flinging about this and that and as angry as a barracuda! "My solenoid is not functioning properly" he began to rant in earnest. He had not seen me so I spoke up. "Having a little touch of logorrhea, are we today Wizard?"
He laughed loudly and invited me in."You don't happen to have a pantograph with you, do you my dear" he asked
Unfortunately I did not! Instead I shared the rest of my cupcake and the proffered figs with him!

Answer 4

One fine windswept day, as I was lounging under my gazebo, I was all agog at my pet barracuda who was eating a biscuit stuffed with a parsnip, in one hand,and a cupcake drizzled with melted gumdrops in the other. He was having a festive time. However, his wife was itching from a chigger and searched her handbag for a kleenex to put iridescent ointment on. She got relief in a jiffy when she grabbed a twig to scratch with.

Answer 5

Once upon a time, long long ago, there was a kleenex named twig. Twig wasnt your ordinary kleenex that wiped the drizzling snot coming from ones nose. He could walk, and talk, and do all sorts of human like things. Twig lived underneath a gazebo, along with a cupcake, a biscuit, a piece of spree candy, and a jar of jiffy peanut butter. One ordinary day Twig wokeup underneath his gazebo, and noticed a small snippet of a parsnip next to his bed. He quickly grabbed it, and placed it in his handbag for safe keeping, he would eat it later. Twig then walked out of his gazebo and started on his daily walk. He was about 1/4 of a mile into his walk when he looked down, only to find a gumdrop laying by a corner of his tissue body. "My lucky day!!" Twig yelled, agog with excitement. He then picked it up, placed it in his handbag along with the parsnip, and continued on his way. Then, about a mile later, he came up to a baracuda who had, somehow, been takin out of its aquarium. "Oh my!" Twig shouted, as he ran up to the baracuda. He then scooped him up, and ran twords the nearest body of water he could find. While doing this, the baracuda gave Twig a peapod. He said it was a recompense for helping them. Just as Twig placed the peapod into his handbag, along with the parsnip, and the gumdrop, he came up to a river. Quickly, he tossed the baracuda, whos name was sergeant, into the river. But sadly, he had tossed him to far, and the baracuda hit his head on the sluice gate, and died. Suddenly, Twig found himself having a small case of logorrhea. "Why!?", "How could i do that". But he eventually got over it when he was windswept and landed right on the tip of a pantograph. "OOWWW" showted twig. But he eventually got over it, and relized he had always wanted his body pierced. So he continued on his way, and came up to a small iridescent larkspur. "Oh my!" Twig shouted, "Its beautiful!". He then got distracted by the huge blimpe crossing by in the sky. He then continued on his way, still looking at the blimpe in the sky, and walked right into a electric solenoid coil, which gave him quite a shock, but he eventually got over it. So, continuing on his way Twig eventually came up to a small fig, and like his other small treats, he flung it into the bottom of his handbag. As he was doing this, a small chigger bug, that had once been resting on the gumdrop in his pocket, woke up, and walked out of his handbag, and onto Twigs ear. Twig, very quickly, pulled out his claymore (yeah, he has one) and chopped the chigger into 442 pieces. Then put them into his handbag for later. He then came up to a small festive meal. But passed it by, because he wasnt hungry. He then arrived at his gazebo, just in time to watch the sunset, and go back to sleep. The End!!!!


..wow, that was fun.

Answer 6

i'll get back to you on this one...