and though you know mere asking isnt something 2b THANKFUL for it actually made you think "IM NOT REALLY FINE AFTER ALL!"?
is it BAD to tell honestly to their faces that "IM NOT FINE, dont BOTHER!"
=)))))))))))))))))
2007-07-26 09:16:08 · 41 answers · asked by enki 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
Depends who is doing the asking. Some people, close friends, are asking because they want to know. They deserve an answer. It is likely they already know the truth and are asking to give you an opportuinity to talk about it. The same way, if you were to ask a close friend that question, you would hope to get an honest answer.
If "people" rather than friends are asking, then it depends on what you hope to accomplish (e.g., setting limits or participating in banal but expected social discourse). The latter provides an implicit understanding that future discourse may be rewarding for several rerasons.
There are alternatives...."gradients"....
" Don't ask!"
"You don't want to know"
"Hangin in there"
"Fare to Middlin"
"Can't complain" (Appropriate reply is "yes you can")
"Not bad" (After a pause you can add.."not good").
"Not Bad"
"Standin Tall"
"Great" (not to be confused with "Oh, just great! with sarcasm)
"Super, Terrific"
If asked "How are you Doing" IT is appropriate in all situations to say, I'm doing everybody I can!" :-)
I'm sure there are many more ways to handle this situation.
By the way, I hope you are feeling fine.
2007-07-30 04:09:43 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yeah I think it's just a way of being polite without getting too involved with someone. I mean, if you're answering "I'm fine thank you", then you're probably not very close with the person, so you probably won't be divulging your problems to them, but a close friend on the other hand you probably wouldn't play it off like you're okay, at least I wouldn't. And I think that telling someone who is trying to be polite and friendly that you're not fine is impolite. It's strange really, I've actually wondered the same thing before, but after experience I can tell you that answering truthfully, when truthfully is not fine, can sometimes have no effect at all. Often times they actually don't even realize it, and they say, "That's good." Lol, that shows how much they really care.
2007-07-26 09:29:35 · answer #2 · answered by Cara 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I have any number of responses that I use indiscriminately:
> I am Three of the Seven Dwarves, Sleepy, Grumpy and Dopey!
(I wanted to be Doc, but at least I am not Bashful or Sneezy!)
> Clean and Green and a little bit mean!
> I don't know how and I'm still working on why? Do you know something I don't!
> Fried, lied and died on the side!
> I am so far behind myself, I can see my own butt!
AND IT IS NOT A PRETTY SIGHT!
> Bemused, Confused and slightly amused
> Dazed, Amazed, and a little bit Crazed!
> Absolutely Delighted! No, Really! My light is completely Out!
Got a light?
> Well, I pinched myself and I know I'm not dreaming! Next I have to slap myself in the face to make sure I exist. wanna watch?
> (Sung To the Tune of "I Feel Pretty")
I feel Gritty, Oh so Gritty
I feel gritty and pitty and gray!
I feel grodey, like my second layer of skin's peeled away
La La La La La, La, La, La La La!
> Well, I am, and some days that just has to be good enough!
> Any Day that you're vertical is a good day right?
You wouldn't believe what happens when folks ask me how I feel!
(heh heh heh)
2007-07-26 10:51:43 · answer #3 · answered by MUDD 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes I say fine just because it's the expected response. But sometimes I'll blow people's minds by being brutally honest "I feel like crap. I've had 2 hours' sleep. I hate my job...etc" Then they look at me like I have two heads. People don't know what to do with honesty. It catches them off guard. With friends & family I'm always honest. They know what I'm like so it doesn't surprise them. I try not to terrify complete strangers generally...
I am trying to be more positive these days. Really I am. But sometimes...sometimes quite frankly I'm not fine, I'm pretty effing far from fine...but I know even on the bad days, it could be worse & I should be happy for what I have and I should focus on the good things and find my zen, the calm amid the chaos, the beauty amid the ugliness. Intellectually, I know this. But putting it into practice is another matter! It's not easy!!!
2007-07-28 03:48:26 · answer #4 · answered by amp 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'll answer the last question first. What possible "good" could there be in telling someone you're NOT fine, & not to bother?
Most often, as in casual situations, people really aren't asking to know how you are; it's just something they say. Yet, if I "pick" up something in the person, I'll quickly respond with "How are YOU?" & always, they have something they want to get off their mind. The best for me is a smile, & "Fair to middlin'." That's always satisfactory! No, if I weren't "fine" I wouldn't spread it around. To show interest in THEM, & always to smile--gosh we could use more smiles, couldn't we?--is like leaving a little bit of light when you leave. Very special friends are different. We share.
2007-07-27 12:38:54 · answer #5 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
When people ask " how are you?" i think most of the time it is out of habit, because a lot of times people don't really care, i find. And i have said that i was fine, even though i wasn't at all. But then i think, if i tell them how i really am, they might ask why, and i don't want to explain, because then i feel worse! So i just say fine, thank you! I don't think it is bad.
2007-07-26 11:19:39 · answer #6 · answered by IslandOfApples 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No. I've no time for idle questions for form's sake. So I make them pay attention by answering honestly. Usually along the lines of "Well I'm nowhere near as good as I used to be, but I'm a bloody sight better than I know I'm going to be, so I'm enjoying it while I can -- and what about you?" It usually catches people by surprise, but it leads to a lot of interesting and real conversations. What else is life for? I hold it as an insult not to deal with people honestly - that's respect. And it serves 'em right! "Have a good day (when I obviously can't care less)" is no way to farewell a customer. I give, and demand, attention!
2007-07-26 19:48:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
No. I actually tell people how I'm really feeling. I hate small talk and if people think that they are going to drag me into it, they have another thing coming. If they really meant that they wanted to know how I was, then they are pleased that I actually took the time to tell them. If they were just making small talk, they tend to just smile at me when I see them the next time. Telling the truth (without going into a ridiculous diatribe of your life story) is a really good way to weed out the people who don't actually give a rip about how you are. And, telling the truth is perfectly fine. If they say "How are you?" and you answer "I feel like hell." then they got their answer. If people are too stupid to expect the truth, it's all the more fun to lay it on them and see their reaction.
2007-07-26 10:25:06 · answer #8 · answered by conductorbrat 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not bad, but it depends on the situation really.
If you've had a great day, and someone asks you how you are when you know already know or can tell that that person hasn't had such a great day, you might say something like 'oh, it was okay, same as always...' instead of truthfully saying that your day was awesome.
Why?
Well, to not make them feel so alone with their not so great day.
Of course it also depends on how you answer. Saying "I'm fine thank you" is okay but might be interpeted as you being annoyed by the initial question and could spark up an unwanted conversation, especially with someone you're dating or married to!
2007-07-26 09:23:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
,You know come to think of it, Yes, I sometimes said I am fine even if I am not to people, that have asked in a polite way. Maybe some of us do it because we do not burden anyone with our aches and pains. But I do not think it is bad in saying ,fine, if I am not I am only being cordial to People that asked that question. you know what Enki, I truly am feeling somewhat sick right now, I feel like I want to Pass out and I do not know why? So I am going to Lie down on my Bed, and see if I will feel a little Better.
2007-07-26 10:32:32 · answer #10 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋