If you were an 80yr old widow, what would you do?

Question

My grandma is in her 80s. Last year she lost her husband and a son. She lives about two hours away. Mom talks to her everyday but she seems to be stuck thinking, "This is it for me. What am I supposed to do at this age?." Could anyone help me come up with ideas of what she could do?

Answer 1

Where is she located? For me, I wanted to retired either in Las Vegas or Atlantic City...when I go to AC I love watching all the seniors at the poker table with me :)

Now of course if she doesn't gamble this won't work but give us some ideas of what is near you/her...

Answer 2

My grandma is in her 80's and she is the most active person ever!! She lost her husband a long time ago. It was hard at first for her to get over the loss of my grandfather. She eventually got over it. She went back to work in her late 60's. Now that she's in her 80's she is on a bowling leauge & has been doing that for years. She plays bridge twice a week with her friends. She quite work several months back. She is in the red hat society. She also is involved in her church. Your grandma can join so may programs for older people. They have so much more things to offer for those who are older. You should help her look into some programs in her area that she might be interested in. Does your grandma knit? She could form a kniting group or a group that plays cards.

Answer 3

Losing a husband and a son in one year is quite a blow at any age. It's all about attitude. She needs to find things to do that will give her a new lease on life. She could go to a Senior Citizen center, make friends, play cards, dance, laugh.
She could become a foster grandmother at a day care center. How about sewing, crocheting, quilting, crafting? Ask a friend out for lunch. Attend church functions. Bake a pie for a new neighbor. Send cookies to the sick friend down the street. Watch a funny movie. Keep busy!!

Answer 4

maybe get her to move closer to you, or you move closer to her. That way you can be in each other's lives more, other than just over the phone. My grandma is in her 80s now, and her husband died about 10 years ago. About a year after that she made the decision to move into a retirement community (not nursing home). She sees people everyday. They have a cafeteria, so she can go eat with people and not by herself. She really enjoys it there because she has people around her,and all she has to do is walk out her door.

Answer 5

Is she able to get around well?? Is there a local transit bus that could take her to senior centers, church or the store? We lost my father in law a year ago and 4 weeks later my mother in law was out playing Bingo. Sounds funny but that was her way of handling things I guess. Sometimes the city has senior trips that she could join in on. What about volunteering? Can she do that or would she be interested? I have also lost a son and my father in law. It is not easy for anyone. Good luck to you and your grandmother.

Answer 6

It's hard for young people to understand, but your grandmother is EIGHTY years old. She's lost the love of her life (your grandpa) and her son. The ONLY thing that would make life worth living for her now is being closer to you all. Unless she has a ton of friends left where she lives, I think your mother should suggest letting grandma come live closer to you and invite her to do something with one (or all) of you (such as a meal, a movie, a picnic, etc.) at least once a week. That will give her something to look forward to and she might live another 20 years. Without something to look forward to, old folks curl up, give up, and die younger. It's a fact. (She needs hobbies and friends and someone to take her to the library, grocery and hairdresser.)

Answer 7

I would definitely say she needs to be in a community of others her own age and in similar situations as her. My Gma is 80, her husband died 6 years ago and her daughter died over a year ago. But she looks like she is in her 60s and she lives in a mobile home park in the section for people over 55. They all look out for each other, care for each other, supports each other. She is very active and it doesn't seem like a senior community, but I think it is what helps her be young.

Answer 8

My Grandmom is the same way. She thinks too much! Sometimes it drives ya crazy, she thinks that people stel stuff from her when only it's just misplaced, and she lives by herself. The past year, she has had a friend come over everyday, and stay with her for a couple hours, and it does her good cause she has someone to talk to.

Answer 9

I just lost my father and I can tell you the pain of losing someone that close cannot be replaced especially losing your husband and child. She needs to be moved closer to you. She will not be around long and will need a lot of help as time goes on........support from the family etc. You can't do much but call with her living far away. If she was near you could take her to restaurants, out to parks, sit out in your yard, etc. Time hurries past.............you need to be with her while you can.

Answer 10

I would move closer to my daughter, live in a really small home that would be managable at that age, get a cat or small dog, and spoil the grandkids rotton. If I were still able to, I'd try to make myself useful to my daughter...she prob'ly hasn't had a night out with the hubby in too long...send her and the son-in-law out on a date, cook for the kids...knowing that I didn't have a ton of time left, i'd want to be useful, and eventually miss-able.