how much is sutiable for a teen of 17 to go out?

Question

im 17 and im in my summer holidays right about now. i love meting friends, im good at school, dont drink or smoke. my dad however doesnt like me going out. i was lucky to go out 3 times this week because my friend was here. now shes gone and im not even allowed to go to the karaoke party coming up. he cancelled it in the last minute, 10 min before i was about to get ready. everyone thinks im coming.... why???? i mean its holidays.. and the place i live in isnt a dangerous area. may dad believe is jsut go out to much. i need more insight and some good argument :(

Answer 1

Tell him that he has no reason to not trust you. Tell him that you have friends at school that aren't allowed to go places, but they sneak out and although you would never sneak out, he should reward you for being a good kid. What is he going to do when you go to college?

Answer 2

some parents are more restrictive than others. Like most parents, they don't have to have a reason that makes any sense for how or what they do. He's probably just worried about losing control over you since you are almost an adult, and a little jealous of the time you spend with your friends instead of your family.

try this:
someday when you know he has time ask him if he has a moment to discuss something that is important to you. ask him respectfully why he has, at the last minute, not allowed you to go/do this or that, etc and why. also make statements tuned to cause him to rethink his position if he doesn't have good reasons such as "i feel like you don't trust me".

the most important thing is to remain calm and respectful, even if he gets upset, because what you are really doing is conveying the message "I am nearly and adult" to him. if he doesn't act like an adult and you continue to, so much the better, because this will speak louder than any argument you may have.

Parents rarely realize when to make the change from thinking and treating their kids like kids and treating their kids like adults.

he needs to know that you are nearly out of the nest anyhow, and that its time to start letting go.

Answer 3

If you already went out three times this week that is a lot. But maybe you can convince your dad that you could work for your priviledge to go out. What does he want you to do at home? Were you going out with someone or alone? Does he approve of the people you hang out with? If he doesn't know your friends make sure you bring them in and introduce them and let him get to know them. When you are in school are you away from home? Maybe he just wants to spend some time with you. Invite him to come along. Chances are he would feel out of place but be flattered that you want him to go. He would also know that you wouldn't ask him to come to something that was bad. Then he will trust that you are not doing anything wrong.

Answer 4

Sounds like hes just worried about you. I wonder how he will react when you go away to school? I would tell him that in less than a year you are going to be 18. Maybe to he just wants to spend quality time with you. Instead of always going out with friends or talking with them on the phone. You should go up to your dad and ask him if he wants to catch a movie with you. If you usually dont do this I think it will catch him off guard. If he goes why what do you want? Say just to spend time with him. Then next time you want to go out with friends he might be more willing to let you go. Plus can it hurt if you try this and he still says no? I would plan to spend one day a week with him doing something Im sure that would mean a great deal to him. Could be something as little as hey do you want to go to lunch with me? This will remind him that he will always be important in your life no matter how many friends you have or even when you get a BF. I think this will help you out. Good Luck!

Answer 5

It seems like your dad isn't ready for you to grow up. You are a great daughter from what you said and you should let your father know that you are growing up. I know how it feels to have a parent who changes their mind at the last minute leaving you feeling let down. Keep your spirits up and be mature at all times. The last thing you want is for him to see you upset and argumentative because it adds to his case. Give him all the good reasons why you should go and be prepared for any counter arguments he may have. Be prepared and stand your ground. You need experiences to grow and you should be allowed some social interaction at your age.

Answer 6

try to request ur dad polightly to allow u to go out atleast twice in aweek. As beacause ur in 17 , in this age there is always arguments with parents for independance. but later u will understand ( just after 4to 5 yrs) how loving ur parents are? So dont go against them .Just go on trying to convince them ur maturing and u are not neglecting ur studies.

Answer 7

My brother is 17 and he goes out all the time because my parents trust him and know his friends. It sucks but parents will tend to act like that. Try approaching him with ways of earning a night out with your friends...extra chores around the house, getting a job so you pay for it yourself. Best of luck.

Answer 8

Sucks for you, I'm 17 and I can pretty much leave whenever I want as long as I'm back back 10. Well maybe it's different, have you graduated from high school yet? After that it will be a whole lot easier.

Answer 9

Your dad probably wants to keep you safe for as long as he can, soon you'll be grown and on your own. You will have plenty of opportunities to go out and be with friends. I will do the same with my daughters.

Answer 10

Unfortunately it's up to your parents.

I let my 16 year old daughter go out a few times a week.