i've been with my boyfriend for 6 and a half years and his fetish has excellerated. the things he wants me to do makes me feel unwanted and low. i feel that they mean so much more to him than i do. please would anyone give me some advise. it would be very much appreciated
2007-07-26 07:23:25 · 7 answers · asked by nadena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
are the "trainers" sneakers, if so i have the same fetish, before computers were so available i thought i was the weirdest (sick, perverted, off the wall) guy in the world. my wife understands and actually thinks its cute. if you wanted to talk 1 on 1 email me at tencar@yahoo.com . i can give you some insight on my wife's and i perspective and how we incorperate it into everyday life
2007-07-27 00:52:47 · answer #1 · answered by tencar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have quite a lot of experience when it comes to fetishes and I have no idea what a "trainer" fetish is.
But I can advise you in a general sort of way. If it makes you feel uncomfortable or degraded you DO NOT have to participate. Make your feelings clear to him in a firm non-judgemental way.
An example--"I know this interests and excites you but it does not make me feel excited and it does make me feel bad." Then the ball is in his court. If he cannot either limit his fetish play or take steps to help you feel important, it might be time to reassess the situation. Keep in mind having a fetish is not a bad thing, allowing a fetish to become an obssession is.
2007-07-26 07:34:58 · answer #2 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think Rebecca is right on with her answer. If you can find a kink-friendly couples counselor, that might be helpful. Sometimes these things "accelerate" due to stress in other parts of life. Is he having financial trouble, or going through some tough family or life problem? Often, if those things can resolve themselves the urgency and focus on the kink lightens up.
BTW, "trainer" is a UK way of saying sneaker.
2007-07-26 12:43:39 · answer #3 · answered by Katharine G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, when a fetish become NECESSARY, it is a problem ... any fun thing you two do together is probably fine, but if he HAS to have it, I think you need to rethink the relationship ... when sexual needs excalate, it usually doesn't stop and eventually he'll need more and more and might look outside your relationship to get it.
Protect yourself early, doll, he sounds like the type of guy who will hurt you - and it will be worse because he won't plan on it, and he'll probably assume that his sexual strayings aren't a personal offence against you because men compartmentalize that behavior ... it won't be a good life.
2007-07-26 07:28:52 · answer #4 · answered by Random_Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he needs to get some professional help if it has escalated to the point of creating problems for you. You might even want to get some counseling for the both of you together. It sounds like this is already out of hand......it's time to gain some control.
2007-07-26 07:40:40 · answer #5 · answered by Sara M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put it back on him, do the same. If he doesn't want to then tell him to take a hike.
2007-07-26 08:30:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont do it !!!!!!!!
i like to have fantisies with my hubby but only thing that will make us both feel good.......
if you feel degregated, honey dont do it!!
sex is to be enjoyed by both, not just one.
communication is key!
2007-07-26 07:27:45 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋