We have been divorced 8 years. We reconciled a year after the divorce but issues had not been resolved and we ended it again after only a year. Many years have passed and we have both had other relationships. Both single now and are talking about getting back together. We are very open about our feelings and have dealt with most of the issues that caused the divorce. (no cheating or abuse) He has told me since before we got married that he thinks I am his soulmate. I feel the same about him. We were young when we married and have grown up a lot. What do you think? Should we give it one more try? We have a teenage daughter also that needs to be considered.
2007-07-26 07:05:23 · 22 answers · asked by laugheveryday 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You really do need to consider the daughter's feelings. She will, however, grow up, move on, and have her own life one day. So what you decide will effect her life for now, but yours forever. What if you entered the relationship slowly. Tell him he needs to start dating you again. Don't move right in and share his bed. These are things your daughter will be aware of. If you want to sleep together, do that when you are alone and the daughter isn't around. It just sends such mixed messages to kids. If you can sleep with him and she knows about it and you aren't married then you're telling her that it's okay to sleep with guys you aren't married to. Even though you were married and she is a result of that marriage, it still doesn't make it okay. Now, if you really have settled your differences and made adjustment to your lives, and you both feel that you're soul mates, then I don't see why you shouldn't get back together. But like I said, start slow....date each other. This will force him to treat you in that special way when guys are on their best behavior. You know how short lived that can be...so enjoy while you can and if you still feel the earth move when you're with him....Go for it!
2007-07-26 07:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've resolved the issues that broke you up in the first place and you feel like he's your "soulmate" I'd give it another shot but make sure your going to stick to your decision for the sake of your daughter, it's so hard on kids for their parents to break up and get back and break up again. Teenagers NEED stability in that area of their life desperately. So just think long and hard before you decide what your going to do so that if you get back together you can stick to your guns.
I was unfaithful once and it's been a recovery process ever since and we decided to stay together because we still love each other not just for the kids. Because what good does it do to be together with the kids if all you do is fight?! You know...............Hope that helps!
2007-07-26 14:17:07 · answer #2 · answered by Sexy Anna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you have dealt with most of the issues that caused the divorce. Well I would make sure you have dealt with all of them. Unresolved issues have a way of resurfacing. People also don't change a whole lot over the years. Granted we grow up and our lives change. But a lot of our personality traits are still the same. So if there are traits that you didn't like before, then you probably still won't like them. I would probably seek some couples counseling before I made any decision.
2007-07-26 14:23:23 · answer #3 · answered by faith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shouldnt use the kid as a consideration cuz almost everytime the response will be well u do a hav a child yall need to be together for the child sake. Naw time heals all wounds and can mend a broken heart. and not saying that he hasnt changed but u first of all can do the kid more harm by getting bac together and living a lie. be cuz it will show right off the bac things will feel real funny. but it seems like neither one of yall hav really giving urself time to just have plain time to ur selfs both were in past relationships and u two ironically arent with ur others anymore i think u too are rushing it. take time to sit bac and truely enjoy ur friendship right now dont rush bac into it.and sit bac and decide if this sumthin u wanna give another round or to, to again????
2007-07-26 14:15:20 · answer #4 · answered by sean a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that you two both need to weigh the pros and cons of trying to get back together again. You know that you both have different goals, and have grown up differently in maturity and if you both have had other partners, then are you both able to forget and trust and love and move forward? If not whats the need of opening up old wounds. Your daughter would want what is best for you both and she doesn't want to be in the middle or played like a yo-yo between you both.
2007-07-26 14:10:21 · answer #5 · answered by justaboutpeace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would leave marriage out of it. Try it without the legal BS. It is definately worth a try. If you love each other enough anything is posssible. Just go slow. Dont rush back inta a marriage. Age and maturity makes a big difference. if all is well in a year or so, then discuss the possiblity of remarrying. Be sure to get ALL isues out on the table!!!!!! Be open and honest. And love each other with all that you have. If its meant to be, it will be!
2007-07-26 14:23:04 · answer #6 · answered by teena662002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well if you have a good feeling about it, then go for it, but take it slow, to make sure neither one of you get hurt again, and you have a daughter who understands whats going on, talk to her about it as well cuz she's always involved in all of yalls problems but it affects her more than yall and you may not realize it. so all three of you need to talk to each other no secrets be as open as possible and give your daughter a chance to say some things, just listen to each other and im sure it would work out great :) my parents been through the same problem so i do it with them as well, only my dad is abusive towards every one here
2007-07-26 14:12:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you guys should consider some couples counseling. I would also talk frankly with your teenage daughter so she isn't confused as to what is going on with you guys. She may have her own issues to sort out where the two of you are concerned.
2007-07-26 14:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by Jbuns 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if there is any hope in reconciling, by all means do it. But, if you aren't in it for the long haul, don't do it.
You're right, the daughter needs the most consideration. Sounds like you guys have had what you've wanted. Now, focus on her.
2007-07-26 14:09:21 · answer #9 · answered by sunflowergal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are still in love and have finally worked out your issues, I think you owe it to yourself to try again. Go slowly tho and make sure its working out before you let your daughter in on it or she could get her hopes up.
But if this is the person you want to be with you should most def give it one last try.
2007-07-26 14:09:40 · answer #10 · answered by deathbykerosene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋