ΦΦ How about an amusing little tale that incorporates these phrases??

Question

1. It's now or never, buckaroo.
2. Why is my horse not giddying up?
3. OMG...... It's the Cockroach From Hell...... I think he's smiling.
4. Please tell me we are all on Candid Camera.
5. Two words for you. Therapy. NOW !!
6. Kiss me baby. HEE HAW.

Answer 1

"It's now or never, buckaroo!" said Barry.
"Kangaroo. K-A-N-G-A. Roo," replied Kevin, with a teaspoon of frustration in his voice.
"Oh, I'm sorry, really. Then what's a buck?"
"It's a deer."
"Are you sure? 'Cause I thought it was a moose."
"It's a deer."
"Maybe an elk?"
"It's a deer."
"My cousin Dennis said he saw a buck, and he said it was an elk."
"IT'S A DEER!" yelled Kevin, with his teeth baring, eyes popping, and an ear twitching.
"Oh...right. Of course. Sorry." Barry lowered his head, and averted his eyes. The pair sat in silence for a few moments to let the air cool between them.
Kevin broke the silence.
"It's like you said, bear. It's now or never." The bear and the kangaroo held their heads high, and walked in unison towards the majestic steed before them. It's shining brown mane begged them to come forward, and it's steely hooves told them it was ready to gallop. "Are you ready Barry? It's time to face your fear!" As Barry bravely appraoched the grand-looking stalion, he was distracted by a voice.
"Heeeelllllooooooooo!!!" yelled the voice, from several block down the street. Barry and Kevin both squinted, and used a flat hand to shield their eyes from the sun, trying to determine what exactly had called to them. The thing loped towards them, panting as it ran. It was a strange beast; a long neck, and spotted back made it stand out against the horizon; a set of stubby, grey, hooved legs propelled it much slower than it's vigorous panting suggested; but a wide grin assured Barry and Kevin that it was nothing to run away from.
The creature finally came to a stop several feet away from Kevin, and several more from Barry. "Hi guys!" it shouted to them, in a volume that did not suit its proximity.
"What are you?" asked Barry, very directly.
"Aahahaha! Well...my mom is a giraffe, and my dad is a donkey. So, I guess that makes me a gironkey! Aaahahahaahha!" Barry and Kevin looked at each other, communicating the same thought; *If his grin doesn't leave soon, we'll run. This is way too creepy.* "It's not bad being a gironkey, though," the gironkey continued, "Like, being part giraffe gives me the ability to say the following." He cleared his throat, pointed to an imaginary object on the ground in front of him, and said in his best TV actor's voice, "Oh my God...It's the Cockroach From Hell...I think he's smiling!" He dropped his act, and continued in his usual overly gleeful manner, "And being part donkey makes me inherently hilarious!"
"Please tell me we're all on Candid Camera," said Kevin, in a very serious tone.
"Aaaaahahahahahaha! Silly goose!" replied the gironkey.
"I'm a kangaroo, actually. Barry, it's time you rode this horse. Be a big brave bear!"
Barry mounted the horse, which stayed perfectly steady, even under the weight of a bear. His muscles were all tense, as he did something he had been working up courage to accomplish for months.
The tension lifted when the horse failed to move. Barry poked it, and prodded it, and shifted his wait around to make it move, but the horse did not budge.
"Kevin!? Why is my horse not giddying up?" asked Barry, frustrated with his stubborn horse.
Kevin replied, "Did you put the quarter in?"
"Oh...the quarter...right. Heh." Beneathe his dark fur, Barry's cheeks blushed as he slid a quarter into the small slot.
"For f***'s sake..." said Kevin, smacking his hand against his forhead.
The mechanical horse began to rock back and forth, and Barry tensed up again. Soon, however, Barry came to enjoy his ride, and began laughing and cheering. So loud was his cheering that an employee of the store that owned the mechanical horse came out to check on the commotion.
"Dammit Barry, the Wal-Mart guy is here! Run!" shouted Kevin. Barry dismounted from the horse, and followed Kevin. Kevin looked back briefly to address the gironkey. He said, "Hey, you! I have two words for you. Therapy. Now." With that, he joined Barry in the race back to the cover of the trees.
When the employee returned to his desk inside the store, the gironkey emerged from behind a dumpster, where he had been hiding. The horse still rocked slowly back and forth.
"Hey there...wanna come play with me?" the gironkey asked the horse seductively. The horse's head bobbed up and down, seemingly in agreement. The gironkey moved to the front of the horse and looked into its eyes. The horse suddenly stopped moving. "Kiss me baby. HEE HAW."

Answer 2

Well I gotta tell ya Canadian Bacon's story is so good I don't think anything I could come up with could possibly come close. What a great story. I'de like to see the one that tops it!!!
To make a short comment long. I think I'll pass on this one. Anyway I just started this story writing and I think I have burned my brain!!

Answer 3

"There is it, Mom!" Mike as he led his mom into the Wal-Mart. "See? Isn't it beautiful? I told you it would be here!"
Shirley smiled down at her son in his cowboy hat, holsters with toy guns, and his little chaps. "It's a beautiful horse. Did you want a ride?" She lifted him into the saddle of the plastic horse and began looking for the coin machine.
He flapped the reins. "Why is my horse not giddying up?"
"Just a minute." She dug through her purse. "Be patient. I'm looking for a quarter."
"Here you go. Hang on. It's now or never, buckaroo." A deep voice said, followed by the ching of a coin and a whoop from Mike as the machine started.
"Thank you." Shirley turned and her words died in her throat. OMG! she thought. It's the Cockroach from Hell! She looked at the shiny wings, six legs and antenna on the man's costume. I think he's smiling. That smile... No, it's not possible... "Sam? Is that you?"
"Yes, dear." Her husband's grin broadened as Eeyore from Winnie the Pooh approached. The man in the donkey costume stopped beside her. "Ed, I want you to meet my wife,"Sam said. "And this is my son, Mike."
"Hi, kid." Eeyore waved and then put his arms around Shirley. "Kiss me, baby. HEE HAW!"
"Knock it off, Ed," Sam said. The donkey let go of her and moved to drape his arm over Sam's cockroach shoulders, standing with one foot ****** as though he had all day to stand there.
"Please tell me we are all on Candid Camera," Shirley said. "Why are you dressed like that? Did you get a job or something? And why a cockroach? Yuck."
"No, not a job. And we're not on Candid Camera." Behind the dark makeup, her husband appeared to blush. "Oh, look, the ride is finished. C'mon, Lone Stranger, let Dad help you down." He plucked Mike off the horse and set him on the floor. The child ran off to the gum machine, attracted by the bright colors. Eeyore trailed after him and Shirley turned her attention back to her husband.
"So what is this about? Why are you dressed like this?"
"I, uh....well, I kinda...do we have to discuss this here?" He looked at her hopefully and when she put her hand on her hip, scowling, he heaved a heavy sigh. "I kinda lost the football pool last Sunday. Ed and I, we were told we had to dress up like.... well, like...are you sure we can't discuss this at home?"
"I'd like to know." She glanced at Mike, who had managed to con the donkey into fumbling for a quarter in his clothes under the costume.
He sighed again. "Well, the losers, we decided, had to dress up like male genitalia. Ed is the *** and I'm-- I'm..."
"I get it." She took Mike by the hand, glancing down at the blue sugar running across his lip from the huge gumball.
"We're leaving now."
The roach reached out his hand, two of the other "legs" tied with black cord so it appeared he held out three hands. "So you understand? You're not mad?"
She shoved her purse strap higher on her shoulder. "I have just two words for you. Therapy. NOW!!"
"But are you mad? Should I stay away from home tonight?"
"Just don't wear this...this bug outfit home, is all I ask." She looked at him. "And no, I'm not mad. Just confused."
Eeyore let out a loud bray, which startled her and made Mike shrink behind her, his mouth still bulging with the gum.
"You win, man!" The donkey lifted the huge cartoon head off, showing a sweat-dampened man's head. "You got it!" He set the head aside and began groping though the loose material of his costume, pulling out handfuls of money.
"What is going on?" Shirley demanded.
"I won." The roach gratefully accepted the cash thrust at him. "The guys and I had a bet about whose wife would be the least likely to blow a gasket." He gathered the bills and began straightening them. "You were the only one who didn't get mad. Bill's wife slapped him and George's wife cussed him out. But you....you helped me win, darling." He put out his three arms as though to hug her.
With a swift movement, she swept Mike, sticky with blue froth, into her husband's hands while she whisked the money out of his grasp. "Thanks, dear," she murmured. "I'm going shopping. See you later tonight."
She moved off, counting, and then stopped and looked back at him. Smiling, she said, "After all, I came here just to buy some Raid." Then, laughing, she walked off down the aisle.