I'm getting married in 2 days... any advice for a lasting happy marriage?

Answer 1

Follow the Jamaican proverb:
"Before marriage, keep both eyes open. After marriage, close one."

Answer 2

Girlnextdoor409, first of all please allow me to congratulate you and your future husband. We just married a little over two months ago. At that time a friend of ours gave us some words of advice. He said that for any relationship to last a long time (and he has been married for over 40 years I must add) each partner has to give 65% to the relationship. He explained that way there is always 30% left over for love when times get tough. Sounds simple but putting it into play forever will be difficult.
Open ended communication and always saying what you mean is very important also. Listening with an open mind and remembering to let your significant other know how much you love them daily would be more advice I would recommend. Again congrats and good luck.

Answer 3

Patience and commitment.
It won't always be fun and romance.
It was certainly not fun or romantic when the baby practiced projectile vomiting at 3 in the morning and I had a presentation to make at 9 to the board of directors. But that pukey baby grew up to be valedictorian at her school (mostly thanks to my wife's efforts, true) and is a sophomore in college now.
I have been married 21 years. There have been times when it was rough, but they pass. It is better to work through your issues and trust in the enduring love you hold for your spouse.
Congratulations and good luck.
PS: I read some of the earlier answers above ... do NOT count on sex. Sex is great, and gets better in a marriage, but it is neither a reason to marry nor a reason to stay married. Second, "communication" is vastly over-rated. Use tact and discretion about what to communicate and when. And by all means, if you are POed at midnight and have to be at work early, by all means "go to bed angry." Sleeping on a mad can be a great way to get some perspective. In the morning, it might be worth discussing, or you may find it was silly and not worth dredging up. A third attribute of a successful marriage is "civility." Be polite, considerate, and willing to forgive and forget (or just forget).
Again, congrats, and may you enjoy a wonderful marriage.

Answer 4

Don't be upset if some of the compromises you have to make put you closer to the short end of the stick. Don't hold grudges, if you say you forgive your husband for something or are no longer upset about it, don't throw it in his face in the future when you are upset at him or you are arguing. DISCUSS YOUR EXPECTATIONS OF YOUR SEX LIFE!!! Sex, while not the most important thing in a marriage, is still ONE OF the important things in a marriage(just like discussing finances, where you live, and if you or him will stay at home with the kids, etc...), and if both of you go into the marriage with two totally different views on what your sex life will be, it will cause friction. That's all I can think of right now.

Answer 5

Don't expect him to change in anyway. The rules don't change for men once you get married, and women often think that behaviors are going to change, that something acceptable before marriage will stop after marriage. Wrong! Guy's think that if you had a problem with a behavior of theirs that you were supposed to say something about it before getting married, not after. So if you don't like his sports, his drinking, his porn, his going out with the guys, his friends that are women, or ANY behavior of his, you should have said that you don't want to live with that beforehand, never after.
Don't change yourself. Guys marry hoping a woman won't change, women marry thinking a guy will change, or that they can change him. It's sexist, but gosh, as a woman, I admit it is true!

Answer 6

Absolutely nothing to it. Just learn to save money for hard times, Laugh a lot, have alone time at least once or twice a week, remain sexy at times (doesn't have to be all the time if you have kids) keep the house clean, make date nights, cook often, whisper sweet nothings randomly, try new things in bed don't get bored with it. And don't give him or her too much as (that can cause boredom)and most importantly, talk when you're having a disagreement, don't argue. And remain monogamous. It will last forever.

Answer 7

Yes. Choose your battles. Don't try to change your spouse because it won't happen. For example, it used to drive me nuts that mine would leave dirty clothes on the floor in the bedroom when the hamper is just out in the hall. I've learned to let it go, and just pick up the dang clothes.

Also, and this is very simple but so, so important: Remember that you and your husband are ON THE SAME TEAM. You should not be competing. You should be working together for your mutual satisfaction in life and in your marriage.

Answer 8

Always be kind to each other. Be there for each other - be each other's best friend. Kiss each other every morning when you wake up and hold each other every nite. Compromise - marriage is give and take. Someone can't always give and someone can't always take. When you fight - hold his hand. Never go to bed mad. You should treat him the way you want to be treated and he should do the same. Don't let your love get stale! And TALK when you have a problem - don't keep it inside until resentment sets in. Be playful and laugh together!
I wish you both the best!!!!!! I hope it lasts a lifetime!!!!

Answer 9

Communication tops the list for me. Being independent and respecting each others needs, outside of the marriage, i.e., going on separate vacations, but also going on a vacation together, trusting each other, get over jealousy if it exists, being spontaneous, respect, love, and honesty. It's worked for me, for all the years I've been married. Good luck to you!

Answer 10

1. Make sure you are marrying the right person, for the right reasons.

2. Never take your spouse for granted.

3. Work at your marriage every day.

4. Communicate, communicate, communicate.

Answer 11

I know there is that saying of never go to bed mad. That never worked for me and my husband. In fact, our marriage almost fell apart because we tried to follow that "rule". The more exhausted I got the more irrational and angry I got. Best just to let me sleep so we can continue in the morning when I'm rational.

So the best piece of advice I can give is this. What works for one couple doesn't work for another. Find what is best for you.