How can I be Christ like in this situation?

Question

There are people on my husbands side of the family that are very opinionated and at times obstinate to deal with and I love them dearly because they have been very good to us I dont want to be like my husbands cousin who can be a drama queen and make a big deal when things are said about her.

My husband leaned over and gave me a hug and I hugged back and his uncle said you both look like dogs in heat, I overlooked that comment and I prayed for him because his marraige has problems also.

How can I be christ like when people say things that arent nice or try to medicate a situaion with a poor choice of words?

For example we told my husband realtive that we could not have kids and she said it was just as well and that I should get a puppy and that would be our baby. I was horrified that she thought getting a puppy would be like a baby to us and I was very insulted.

What are ways to show the love of Christ and be a witness in these situations?

Answer 1

I thought the comment your uncle made was kinda funny.....and honestly, a dog or a cat is much easier to care for than a person. Lighten up a bit!

Answer 2

You are blessed to have a loving marriage! Have you told your husband how you felt? These were very insensitive things to say and I can understand how you would be upset.I would first ask the Lord to not hold these things against them if they were said with the intent to upset you. Then I would spend my time dwelling on whatever things are lovely and pure and limit my time with people who try to be toxic. But first talk to them about how their inappropriate comments make you feel, maybe they did not think and just blurted out something off the top of their head! Intent is very important! I have a brother like that and have learned not to take anything he says to heart! He does not think before he speaks and we all overlook him. It is just his nature to run off at the mouth! I still love my brother and let others know to overlook the crazy stuff that comes out of his mouth! I focus on what a good person he is and how he is willing to help me out at a moments notice, it is a lot easier when you look at the "total person" to not sweat the small stuff!
That being said, the "dogs in heat" comment was way over the top! Ask the Lord to put this in perspective for you and to deal with your husband's relatives. Always ask the Lord to help rid you of any feelings of resentment because this can be destructive. However, if someone is bent on upsetting you and you know that was the intent of the person, the Lord does not require you to spend large amounts of time with this person so you will be torn down again! May the Lord bless you and your husband!

Answer 3

Do just what you are doing and overlook the comments. I get teased sometimes, maybe like what his uncle said to you two, but the baby situation is something else all together. All you can do is ignore it and pray as you have been. You could always adopt a baby if you can't have one of your own. I am sorry for that misfortune, and I hope that realtive will see the error in her words and think twice next time before comming out with a comment like that.

Answer 4

Wow, this can be a toughy. It's hard to imitate the unvarying love of Christ when the things people say can vary, even between INtent and CONtent.
I've found that if I'm not tuning in to how Christ lived, it gets much harder to imitate Him. Try spending some time diving into passages where Christ had to deal with people saying unkind things to or about Him, and see how He responds.
As for not being able to have children - this can be a real challenge in and of itself, even without comments like that:-\ Try not to let those comments discourage you. Your husband's relative may not understand just how drastically differently you would value a puppy vs. a child, especially if she doesn't have or want children herself. (If she does have children I do hope she loves them more than the family dog!) Try to think of ways of kindly pointing out that it really wouldn't be the same, and hopefully the not-so-thoughtful comments will stop.
(Side note: Have you seen "Facing the Giants"? It's a fairly recent Christian movie. I really enjoyed it, even though it made me cry multiple times. It's very challenging and encouraging:)
God bless (but more importantly, bless God:)

Answer 5

It is admirable that you desire to be Christ-like when others are insensitive. The only thing that comes to mind for me is to ignore the comments. You can try to instill humor in the situation (laughing at yourself..."here we go again-dogs in heat! haha") But if the people are being rude instead of simply ignorant of their own behavior this may escalate the situation. Start working toward limiting your time with some of those individuals. I know it is hard, if you start gradually to pull away from some of the family gatherings you may be able to avoid some of the situations.
I had to severely limit my time with some in-laws because when I tried humor, the became very aggressive about hurting my feelings. I just made other plans, and if my husband desires to do those things with me it is fine, and if he chooses to visit his family members it is fine also. Then I try to cut my time shorter on the gatherings I do attend. I put on a good attitude and enjoy my time, and then I need to be somewhere, so I hug and thank them and say my pleasant good-byes. Life has been simpler for me this way. I hope it helps you too.
God Bless.

Answer 6

Sometimes people don't know how to respond in words to you when they are told things like you can't have a baby. She wasn't trying to insult you. She was trying to think of a way to fill a void in your life. By having a puppy it would keep your mind busy. Until perhaps you decide to take alternative routes like adoption or artificial insemination or any of the other options you may find. There are a lot of children in this world that needs a loving mother and father. You stated you are a christian and therefore I have no doubt in my mind that you will pray for guidance and strength. You are vulnerable to hurt right now and extra sensitive because of it. Therefore that is why you took your husbands relative the wrong way. Chin up girl everything will be alright. The world isn't crashing down on you right now as you feel it is. In this life we have choices it is up to us to seek them out.

Answer 7

Can you talk your husband about your feeling, and will he talk to his family?

In the situation where the uncle said you look like dogs in heat, I would have been positive in that situation something like "WOW (with a stunned face) then turn it around and say we are still very much in love and we just can't help ourselves". And as far as the harmful joke about the baby, I would simply keep those type of private issues between you and your husband, since his family lacks tact.
I am sure you are touchy about some subjects, thats why it is wise to keep some things to yourself.
But when you are alone with any of them calmy talk to them let them know that you love them and want to come and visit but that you are uncomfortable when """"", and if you can work the scriptures into the conversation do so, but come prepared with your bible (in your purse) also let them know why you haven't gone blow for blow with them and be prepared to show them the scripture about how "romans12:18,19 vengence is mine"the tongue can be used as a weapon and proverb 18:21,, proverb 54:17 be careful with this one, you don't want to attack her. Read your bible, all the answers you need are there(many more scriptures regarding the power of the tongue)

If that doesn't work, just limit the number of visits you make to them. "Bad assoications spoil useful habits" 1corinthians 15:33.

But always forgive them, and forget about it, cause like you said his uncle is having problems in his marriage. And you don't know what the grandmother has been through with her pregnancies. So take it with a grain of salt. Pray for them, and pray for yourself.

Prayer answers all things

Answer 8

I think at the "dogs in heat comment", Christ would have winked.

At the puppy comment I would have said, "I guess your husband knows that even dogs need love"...no..wait..that isn't very Christlike is it...

I really think that instead of thinking of Christlike comments, you need to really focus on not letting any comments like this affect you. Just smile and love them for their ignorance. That is where the true spirit of Christ is, in your own heart. Good luck and remember, you can choose your friends but not your family.

Answer 9

Well for starters, if you two look like dogs in heat....i would consider that a POSITIVE thing. There are so many couples out there that have lost that intimacy or those why don't get affection in public. If you two have that intimacy and connection, take it as a compliment and say "thanks"! :)
As for the puppy, i don't think it could ever replace the "baby", but if you are an animal lover it wouldn't be a bad idea. Maybe try and look at the positive side of these comments instead of dwelling on the bad??

Answer 10

The best thing to do is realize the situation, let love flow to the person and ignore it. Pray for them, don't hold grudges and try to understand them.

For example, when your husband's uncle made that quite uncalled for comment, I would have just smiled (or even winked in agreement!) to show that his outlook didn't affect you at all.

When you're husband's relative told you that you should get a puppy to take the place of your baby, instead of letting that insult you, you should have realized that she was only trying to help and be honored that she would actually care enough to suggest something she obviously believed to be true to you. If she said it sarcastically, you could have just smiled gently and said "the day a dog replaces a baby must be the rapture!"

The best way to handle touchy situations like that is to just mentally count to ten before responding, think about how much you love God and then pour that love on the relative and let their sharp words wash away. As God would say, "whatever you do for one of these, brothers, you do for me." Treat them like you would treat your heavenly father. Good luck!

Answer 11

The thing is everyone tells people to be nice even when they are mean to you well I know that is sooo hard to do but it's the right thing to do it's great you prayed for him that was very rude of him. If the problom get's worse you should talk to your husband about it and if you already have well then maybe consider ignoring it. It get's frustrating at points but if you say anything back he will just press harder or maybe even a fight will occur. You could even talk to him or her that is a bad situation this is all the advice I can give you!!