Why does everybody say that living together before marriage will increase divorce..Well my husband and i have been together 17 yrs,happily married 16 yrs and moved in together 3 months before we got married and divorced didnt happen here.
2007-07-26 05:00:09 · 26 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yea erica we got engaged 3 months after dating.
2007-07-26 05:10:30 · update #1
I say living together will show if you are ready for marriage or not. How can you know if that person is right for you if you don't know his home habits.
2007-07-26 05:03:07 · answer #1 · answered by RedRabbit 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
If it was just 3 months before,, chances are you were already engaged, right? You were already comitted to getting married, not just moving in together to live together.
A big reason that many people point to about the divorce of coupled who live together first is because often, a couple will move in together..live together,...and then down the road feel like the next "logical" step is to get married, or they fall to the pressure from family and friends after seeing them living together asking when they'll get married. So, they get married, because it's the next step or it is expected. Often the decision isn't fully thought out. Its just done because that's what is done. Like going to college after high school, its just what you do.
So, they go into the marriage with the wrong beginnings. ..leading to divorce.
or
They live together as bf /gf then get married and nothing really changes. There should be a difference in the relationship between when people are married and not married. There isn't a respect for the marriage, it is just a continuation of their relationship and the feel of permanence is lost...leading to divorce...
Marriage has to been seen as special..it lacks that specialness when you've already lived together without the thoughts of marriage in the background.
p.s.- Congrats to you and your hubby! 16 years is a great thing to be proud of.
2007-07-26 12:09:17 · answer #2 · answered by lovespring 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your case is really not a true live in situation. The live-in/marriage/divorce situation mostly happens when people have lived together for 5 - 10 year get married and divorce within 5 years. So you can't compare your 3 months with that....
2007-07-26 12:28:44 · answer #3 · answered by jimmy.parker06 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i moved in with my husband when i turned 18 and he 19 we got married a year later and have been so great since then i think all couples should live together before marriage because if you can't work the problems out then when you live together for a bit than you should never move to the marriage faze. me and my husband had a rough time when we first moved in together just getting use to being together all the time and each others habits but after like 3 or 4 months we dealt with all our problems and that is when we decided to get married and it was the best decision we have ever made i wouldn't know what i would do with out him. and people who get divorced i think in the people i have known anyways they had totally clear signs that they were not compadible but they thought marriage would solve it but if you can't get along before you get married than you sure the heck can't after marriage. congrats on 17yrs and being happy!!
2007-07-26 12:20:37 · answer #4 · answered by stt143 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know people on both spectrums - some that did end in divorce and others that are fine living together before marriage. But I think when you do live together for a long period of time before marriage it makes it easier for people to nit-pick at things and be more apt to decide they're not compatible or right for each other if things aren't perfect ahead of time. Whereas if you get married and have never lived together (or only did for a short time before marriage) you may tend to work at things harder and not see divorce or ending an engagement as an option.
2007-07-26 12:05:23 · answer #5 · answered by needstoknow 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think most of the time it has to do with religion. I think it is better to live with some one before you get married. 1. You get to know how the living arrangements are going to be, were if you got married and then moved it it would all be a suprise. 2. If you found out you hated living with them you could just move out, were as if you were married you would have to go through the divorce process.
I think really it is up to the couple what is best for them. Some people just like to judge other's life because they are not happy with theirs
2007-07-26 12:09:06 · answer #6 · answered by Cristy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it increases divorce.
I think the divorce rates are so high because people get married too fast, too young, and for the wrong reasons.
I would want to live with my future husband because you don't really know a person until you live with them. This goes for friends I roomed with in college as well.
It is the best way to learn how that person handles every situation, how responsible they are, and if you can deal with being with one another for an extended period of time.
Congrats on a successful marriage.
2007-07-26 12:06:24 · answer #7 · answered by anselina1 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
you didn't live together that long before you got married, but for a lot of people that move in together before marriage, they end up just living together and not getting married or when they get married they are more likely to get divorced. it's a known statistic, but there are always exceptions to the rule.
2007-07-26 12:04:35 · answer #8 · answered by A W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it doesn't happen with everyone, but check out the studies done on this. Most find that this is the case. Divorce rates are higher for those that live together before marriage than those that don't.
2007-07-26 12:23:43 · answer #9 · answered by tigrompy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with moving in together before you get married. It gives both party heads up on both living habits (good or bad) what each can and can not tolerate. I did it and I am still married. We lived together for 6 1/2 years and been married for 9.
2007-07-26 12:04:32 · answer #10 · answered by Lady Dee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
There are statistics that indicate it, but then one can make statistics say just about anything they want it to.
Regardless of what may or may not be the chance of living together increasing chance of divorce, having been married myself in the past, I seriously doubt I'd ever do it again without having lived with that person a while first.
2007-07-26 12:03:15 · answer #11 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋