[advice wanted] Someone said, find a husband who loves you more than you love him..but..?

Question

My gal friends always told me, find someone who loves you more than you love him.
But, how does it work? I can not stand being with a man I have no strong feeling for.

I have a boyfriend, we are crazy about each other. I think he loves me very much, we are from different countries, now we both are in Paris, he is a French, but I will go back to Canada in two years, and he agreed to go with me because he loves me, he said so.
Recently his company sent him to Egypt for business trip, he said he accepted this mission only because he wanted to be ready to live in a english speaking country, and only because he loves me.
He always said what he did was just because of me. But the thing is, I did many things for him without telling him that was because of him, I just did it without saying a word to him.

Maybe I love him more than he loves me, which is fine for me. But do you think a really nice guy would tell his lover all he did was for her? maybe he is only a sweet talker?

Answer 1

aww, then you can't have that annoying phone conversation that goes " no i love you more... no i love you more... no i love you more... no i love you more...." BLAH

anywho, i don't believe what your gal pal told you.
you need to find someone that you are happy with, and are in love with, and he loves you, and you can't imagine not spending your life without.

that's what you need to find.

Answer 2

Ok, first off, ignore your friend.....for the most part. While the advice she gave wasn't bad, it wasn't exactly dead on either. You should find someone who loves you as much as you love them. Period.

As for your boyfriend, he may be a sweet talker, but what it sounds like to me is that he's a bit insecure and wants and needs praise for the things he does for you. It doesn't mean that he doesn't love you, but it does mean he wants to be sure you know of all the ways he's showing it. It might be he was in a relationship before where the girl didn't appreciate him. It might be that he grew up in a household where he wasn't recognized as being important or helpful. It could be a lot of things, but whatever it is, I believe he just wants to be sure that his efforts are being recognized and that you feel they are proof of his love for you as much as he thinks they are. Some men aren't really that good with words, and even the ones who are good with words get tongue-tied and bumbling when it comes to expressing themselves to the woman that they love. Doesn't mean they love you less.

Anyway, I don't really see the connection between the Egypt business trip and his love for you, but if you see it, that's all that's important. Even though his need for you to constantly give him confirmation and appreciation for the good things he does is a bit insecure, it can also be an endearing trait if he doesn't do it too much. And just because he doesn't verbally show appreciation for the things you do for him doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate them, either. He just may not think you want him to mention it since you usually don't ask or point it out to him like he does to you.

If you feel he loves you (all favors aside) and you love him, then don't worry about the little things. You two already have what's important.

Good luck.

Answer 3

I think you do have to marry somebody who loves you MORE than you love him. That means you love him too, but he loves you more.

I had a boyfriend who loved me a lot and it was the greatest thing in the world. I wasn´t sure if I loved him, but he did.
My actual boyfriend isn´t sure and that really sucks. Like your boyfriend, he says he does a lot of stuff for me.

I think that if he is leaving his country to be with you in your country, he might love you. Pay attention to the way he says things.

You probably are the quiet type of person, who doesn´t tell what you feel, and he is the romantic type, who tells everything
that he fells, and that is great!

Answer 4

Don't worry, guys just think differently than us, they sometimes want us to know how much they truly love us and they figure by telling us things like that it will get the point across. Every one has a way they respond to love, words of affirmation may be his which is why he tells you sweet things, possibly because he thinks that since this is the way he responds you respond the same way.

I think you have a bit of a trust issue, maybe?
It's not a matter of who loves who more, would you die for him? Physically? would you die to your pride for him, would you die to your insecurities, would you die to those things that bother him? Would he do the same for you?

Answer 5

I just think men like the aknowledment of the thing they did. We can live without saying anything but then whine about not getting a compliment or thank you. But when a guy states what he did we are like wth and yea so lol I know cus I do it. Men are a different species trust me. They like hearing themselves talk about the things they do and seeing our reaction when they tell us why they did it ;p. I don't think you have anything to worry about if he hes totally moving location like that for you.

Answer 6

Beware of the sweet talk, yes.
Anybody who says that their sole motivations are for another's benefit are lying.
There is no living for another unless your name is Mother Theresa, or some other saintly person.
I doubt your boyfriend is a saint, probably just a normal person, which means that he lives for himself, just as we all do.
That said, I think you're unsure if he is trustworthy. Time will tell. You have two years to find out.

Answer 7

I'd like to know what being loved back feels like. When you get it, don't let it get away from you, because it has to be the best feeling you could have. I can only imagine since my entire adult life has been failure after failure. Never quite made it to getting back what I gave. I'm in my 50's and in a very loveless relationship, so if you have a good one, savor it...life is short.

Answer 8

well I dont think it means he loves you any less I just think that maybe he's trying to point out how much he loves you and vocalize all he is willing to do for you. It's sort of like that Brian Adams song "Everything I do, I do I do it for You." He wants you to realize his love for you and right now this is the best way he can express it.

Answer 9

i think this guy really loves you,although you are the only one who can determine if he is a sweet talker,and yes nice guys will always tell his lover all he did was for her.

Answer 10

I think you are frighteningly immature and taking advice from immature idiots.

Who cares who "loves" who more? You better make sure that there is mutual respect, you both have good self-control and integrity, and that you both have a positive attitude and healthy self-esteem.