Why Does My Wife Have Double Standards?

Question

My wife likes to go out and have fun as she calls it, this involves drinking, dancing etc etc. I love it when she dances with me etc etc. But she often likes to flirt with other men. She never does anything and says she loves me and only me she just likes to be the centre of attention. However if I so much as talk to another woman she is a jealous wreck and gets really mad. I have often said to her if it's okay for you why isn't it okay for me, she doesn't have an answer.

Answer 1

Ok, this one is simple to see....she does this cause of low self esteem!! She needs the attention from other men to let her know she is beautiful and desirable. Way different than the attention you give her...you are safe!! And as for her getting jealous when you talk to other woman, feeling bad about herself again, cause there is no way she thinks she can compete with the pretty girl you talked to last night or what have you.
When it comes to it and your in the club talking to another woman, introduce your wife..."This is my gorgeous, beautiful wife ___" and continue with conversation....let her know how much you love her and are attracted to her!!

Answer 2

Most of us have this double standard, really. It clearly bothers you that she does this, otherwise you wouldn't be worried about her double standard. Yet, I bet you'd also be okay with doing a little flirting yourself.

See, we all feel like WE are in control, and know exactly how far to go without getting ourselves in trouble. We almost always give ourselves more slack than we'd give someone else. You don't know how far your wife might go because you don't know the inner workings of her mind. Therefore it's kind of scary to see her going up to her own line on that issue.

However, she can't put herself in your shoes unless you do the same thing. You simply follow EXACTLY what she does and when she gets mad you say "Remember two nights ago when you were dancing with Bob? Well I danced with her the same exact way. Maybe you see how I feel now. If you want me to stop, you should stop too".

Normally, it's better to just talk about it and come up with some sort of agreement that works for BOTH of you. But in this case since the behavior has already been going on, I'm afraid you may have to fight fire with fire.

Answer 3

It's not a double-standard. That type of behavior is normal for a WOMAN. To say it's a double-standard implies some form of logic, which only you can see.
She's insecure in your relationship, and shows it by getting jealous and angry and being controlling.
Do you go out together? If so, does she flirt with other men while you're there? That's so totally wrong. My advice: stop going out.
If she has "girls night out" where she acts like that, then have a "guys night out" on the same night, and go to a different place so she can't monitor your behavior.

Answer 4

Sounds to me that you and your wife need to go get some help. She needs to understand that if she doesn't like you talking or dancing with other guys then she needs to understand how you feel. Also what kind of dancer are you hehe. Maybe she doesn't like the way you dance. I know that sounds mean but think about it. But she is wrong in the long run. You sound like a great guy. Talk to her take charge and let her know how you feel and that it needs to stop. If not keep talking and dancing with other girls while shes with other guys she will get the messege.

Answer 5

unfortunately i think double standards exist every where today. i feel like if she is the center of your attention then she should have no reason to be the center of someone else's. she should have an answer for her being jealous when you speak to other women, and ya'll should really have a serious talk and try to make her understand how upset it makes you feel when she does it. two questions though... did she do this before ya'll were married? if so is that how she got your attention?

Answer 6

Your wife is extremely insecure. Your right, SHE is the one that needs to be the focus of attention. She is also EXTREMELY self centered and selfish in the sense that it's all about her. It's not about fun for her, if it was, she wouldn't mind you chatting with other people. It's about fulfilling her need for attention and your sopused to have all eyes on her as well...sick. Anyhow, hate to say it, but people with her m/o many times end up cheating. When she gets older and she starts to notice others attention is slipping away and your attention isn't good enough she will find it elsewhere. She will find what she needs to feel good about herself. Good luck...you need it with that one!

Answer 7

I don't think it's ok for married people to flirt with other people, just shows a lack of respect to the spouse, but if you do, then more power to you. She's sounds spoiled and insecure. Why else would someone always want to be the center of attention?

Answer 8

Don't let anyone answer this for you because based on what you write they will. Your an adult you need to decide when your partner has done something you don't care for and talk to her about it. I myself have always gotten mad when I can't take anymore and than I'd lose it. On the other han other people I know get mad every time something goes wrong. ince people have major differences, you need to work most of this out yourself.

Answer 9

She sees your actions as a threat and she sees herself as in control of herself if she goes out to innocently play around. Her basic problem is insecurity and that is why she goes out on the town to get feedback from guys that she is attractive etc. And because of this same insecurity, she worries to death if you go out with the guys.

Neither one of you should be flirting and having drinks, dancing etc. with the opposite sex. It is very, very dangerous.

Answer 10

Then she has insecurity issues, which is why she likes to be he center of attention in the first place. She needs to learn to love herself, or the two of you never go out.