when I asked him(after my friends left)he says its not bad I am taking it wrong way on comedy central they make that kind of jokes normally. is it ok to hurt someone's feelings just for some silly fun?
2007-07-26 04:02:23 · 10 answers · asked by indi32 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if it hurt your feelings, it hurt your feelings. that is all that matters and he needs to know that. it doesnt matter what others are doing or thinking.
2007-07-26 04:05:44 · answer #1 · answered by Yes I am here!! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The general rule of marriage is: it takes two. But in this case, your husband needs to grasp how destructive joking about the other spouse is.
The steps you can take are to lovingly express your disapproval to him, in a positive way. He is not understanding why it hurts. It makes no difference whether it's on comedycentral, or spousebashingnetwork, your marriage is "your" marriage.
We always encourage couples to never joke about or to the other spouse, "about" the other spouse, espcially in front of other people.
You can show a positive "re-direction" by expressing how much it makes you feel "good, turned-on, loved, cared about, etc." when he makes compliments to other people.
While we don't recommend this often at all, when he does remark a negative joke in front of others, simply walk away. More than likely, he will feel some pressure by others, rather than you, and it may take some outside pressure to wake him up into realizing that he is not treating you respectfully by joking about you.
Lastly, kindly, and lovingly, tell him: "please do not joke about me in front of others. It makes me feel ________. But I love it when you compliment me." Something along those lines in your own style of vocabulary.
It could possibly be that he is hurting inside from something in the relationship. Most couples that joke and jest about their spouse is hiding a hurt that is not resolved, and subcounciously taking it "out" by joking to other people. Make sure there is nothing that is unresolved in your relationship. :)
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2007-07-26 11:14:05 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No it is not right for him to do that but guys have a weird way of making jokes and they usually play it off the woman to make themselves look good but i am sure that his friends may have laughed but they probably saw someone wrong with that and they will probably say something to him and the fact that you called him out on it he is probably thinking about it and he knows that it was wrong but his pride won't let him apologize.. More power to you that you stood up for yourself.. Next time you tell and joke and let him see how he feels.. : ) good luck.. i wish you the best..
2007-07-26 11:17:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him who the hell he thinks he is and then say that next time they are round you will describe his perfomance in the bedroom and that should raise enough laughs with them to make them forget everything he said last time.
2007-07-26 11:07:52 · answer #4 · answered by bunny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you could consider letting your husband know how offensive you find his behavior, and ask him to limit his commentary to himself !
it's not appropriate to put others down.
and by the way, if your spouse does this on a regular basis, it's because he probably has low self-esteem.
2007-07-26 11:11:17 · answer #5 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your hubby was wrong and not only needs to tell you he is sorry but, he needs to tell the other people he was wrong.
2007-07-26 11:05:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I KNOW HOW JOKES ARE. TELL THE PERSON TO DO GOOD JOKES. WHICH IS NOT BAD.
2007-07-26 11:31:44 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no your feeling should come first,after all he is your husband,i think he owes you an apology
2007-07-30 08:56:48 · answer #8 · answered by tnsupermomwhit 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What did he say? Maybe you're just overreacting.
2007-07-26 11:07:40 · answer #9 · answered by ron-D 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
men just don't know any better.
2007-07-26 11:08:25 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋