English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

1. That Don't Impress Me Much
2. Up!
3. It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing
4. Nah!
5. Honey, I'm Home.
6. Don't Be Stupid (You Know I Love You)


►IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO ANSWER BUT CANNOT RIGHT NOW,PLEASE POST YOUR INTENT◄

2007-07-26 03:14:08 · 4 answers · asked by I am Sunshine 6 in Education & Reference Words & Wordplay

4 answers

Tammi-Lynn had decided to go on a SERIOUS diet and lose the 40 pounds of blubber that had accumulated in the most unwanted of places over the years.
Although her boyfriend Jim CLAIMED he loved her just the way she was, lately he had been having trouble.................. getting things going.
To try and spice things up she had aranged a special night for the two of them!........
"Honey, I'm Home".........
He was in for a treat!!.....
She had prepared a sumptious meal complete with candles and fine wine, and served it in an enticing teddy, only to be bitterly dissaponted when he feighned sleep later that night!!
(Since he snored IMMEDIATELY upon falling asleep she KNEW he was faking!!)
When Jim tried to talk to her the next morning she let loose!
"YOU THINK I'M TOO FAT" she cried.
"I don't think you love me at ALL anymore" She walked into the corner to pout.
"Don't be stupid you, know I love you darlin' " he tried to butter her up with hugs and kisses.
She was not having it! She ignored him and finally he left!
Her best friend Bunny soon arrived for their morning coffee clatch and Tammi-Lynn explained what had happened.
Bunny walked over and hugged her friend.
"Come on now, cheer up, it can't be THAT bad!!!!"
Tammi-Lynn sniffled."Don't worry, It only hurts when I'm breathing "
"Well, if you ask me, that FOOL doesn't deserve to kiss your pinky toenail and WHAT has he ACTUALLY done for you lately anyway??
"Well he does pay half of the rent" she said.
Bunny laughed.
"BIG DEAL, that don't Impress me much, you can do much better than him.......especially after last night!!!! Girl please!!!
There's men out there that would LOVE you, 40 pounds and all, AND be able to prove it in the bedroom!!"
Tammi-Lynn brightened up a bit. "Do you really think so" she asked.
"Nah!, I don't just think so, I KNOW so!!!!!
Tammi-Lynn spent the rest of the day snacking on Bon-Bons and thinking about what Bunny had said.
By the end of the next week, Tammi-Lynn had lost 180 pounds!!!!
She had gotten rid of Jim!

2007-07-26 06:34:09 · answer #1 · answered by Silva 6 · 3 0

Ok here it is. I think this is gonna be bad!!!!LOL

The Dog From Hell

He walked in the door and said in a dejected manner, "Honey I'm home and boy have I had a hard day". She thought to herself, well that don't impress me much. She had had the day from hell, up at 2am to get to work at 4 and then that damn dog.

When she didn't greet him like she usually does he asked her what was wrong. She said " you won't believe the day that I had". You know the Cherry Cobler I made to take to work this morning to treat everyone. He said " Yeah I was hoping you would save some for me!" Well I couldn't because a dog ate it.

When I got ready to leave this morning I put the cobbler in the car and left the door open to go get some other things. When I returned there was a dog I had never seen before in the car eating the cobbler. I was so mad I grabbed the door to open it more to get the dog out and hit my side. He said " Are you Ok?" Yeah I'm Ok it only hurts when I breath. Anyway when I tried to get the dog out he wouldn't budge so I got in the car to try to push him out with my feet. That didn't work so I went in the house to get Sharon (their daughter) to help me. When we got out there we saw that the Dog had taken a dump right in the middle of the seat.

We finally got the dog out and cleaned up the mess and so I went to leave and the car wouldn't start. Sharon had to get dressed and take me to work. On top of that I lost my wallet!

I know you must think I am the most unlucky person in the world! I bet you wished you had never met me. I always seem to have the worst luck. He said "Nah Honey, Don't be stupid you know I love you. Dont worry things will start looking up soon". Sharon comes in and says "Hey Mom I found your wallet, I found it under the car, you must have dropped it when you were wrestling with that dog"!

Her husband said "See I told you things would start to look up soon, I"ll give you a back rub tonight and that will make you feel better, Ok!! The End

2007-07-26 11:21:26 · answer #2 · answered by DAS 4 · 2 0

Honey, I'm home! Was I out Drink-ning? Nah! Well maybe jushh a couple. Was I with that little redhead from the office? Don't be shtupid.
You're gonna kick me in the knee fer that? Why not aim Up! a little higher? HA! That don't impress me much. It only hurtsh when I'm breathin'!

2007-07-26 10:25:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3 0

I'm not a writer, but I love Shania Twain's music.
Enjoy!

2007-07-26 10:35:13 · answer #4 · answered by Char 7 · 3 0

fedest.com, questions and answers