I have this thing where if someone says something cruel or nasty to me i shut off and I can't care for that person anymore.That wasn't the case in the past but it is now as i've gotton older and have been hurt a number of times.To me the trust and loyalty of the friendship is gone when one person decides to abuse another's weakness.does that make you a bad person if you've stopped caring?
2007-07-26 03:06:15 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Not at all. What they're doing is mere propaganda for convenience. I stopped caring and it hasn't altered my life at all. Friends can turn to enemies so fast over something petty and stupid. But they made the choice, not you.
2007-07-26 03:11:18 · answer #1 · answered by tercentenary98 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, it does not mean that you are selfish. It means that you are hurt. And there is nothing wrong with sending the message that you are not a door matt, and you refuse to take mess off of anyone. you are a person and you need to be treated with respect and vice versa. You dont have to stop caring for that person. Communicate if it is a friend, or family member, let them know hey, that what you said to me really hurt, I thought that we were better that. etc. The key is to communicate only if you can. At least try, You may feel better. I'm not much for friendships going bad, But if this person continues to be nasty to you, I think that you should count you losses. But sometimes there are miscommunications, Start there. Good Luck
2007-07-26 14:15:17 · answer #2 · answered by cha-cha 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Relationship is a two way street and you are absolutely right when you stop caring for persons who don't care for you. However, you need not tell anyone else that you have stopped caring for such and such aperson because you are cut up with that person. Just stop caring, ignore him/her and go your merry way. What right does another person have to exploit your so-called weakness? You are not a bad person -just a person who thiought that all human beings are good and no one would hurt you and so you could be your natural self. Mild stings you did ignore. That is why you were hurt in the past. Now you have learnt your lesson and future hurt will be less on account of your present behaviour-keep it up and preserve yourself!
2007-07-26 12:33:17 · answer #3 · answered by artqueen 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not at all believe I would about this. Listen you arent selfish, its just deep down you do know you it hurt and you feel in order to stop the disrespectful treatments you must shut that person out.But talk to the person some people think when insulted a close friend they dont realize how much pain they caused.
2007-08-02 18:43:33 · answer #4 · answered by HubbyMarines 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sympathise to you. But as one gets old, one gets more and more obsessed with their friends and start expecting more from them and also like to rule over them. Remember the days when you were spending good quality time with your friends and had no such hickups. Your friends were the same even then. But now you are feeling that they are exploiting and insulting you. Its not true. You have changed your moods and thinking due to your family pressures and the likes. Going into the shell will never help you, on the contrary you are going to hurt yourself more than ever. Learn to forgive and let go of such things and stop feeling guilty.
2007-07-29 23:25:54 · answer #5 · answered by satishfreeman 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it doesn't make you a bad person, its bad not to care but its explainable since you've went through pain of backstabbing, and there's nothing worse in friendship then a stab in the back. So if you don;t care for this person, don't see yourself as a bad person,its absolutely normal, it just beyond me why would you still call this person a friend after she/he insulted and exploited you...
2007-07-26 10:14:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no because if that's a really good friend then they already know how you are and what makes you upset so if they do that then it on them. I do the same thing and I have had the same 3friends for almost 10 years. Others have come and go but they know how I am and my friendship is important to them so we all work to keep it. End of story.
2007-08-03 07:48:12 · answer #7 · answered by beautifull103087 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
NO definitely not. Why do you want to care about someone who does not about you? I have been through a similar experience. My roomate was really nice in the first two years I had known him but then god knows what and he has been acting like a *******, he just likes insulting me or saying things that can hurt me and I have totally shut myself up. I have tried the "forgive and forget" thing but when I do that, he makes sure that I never forget. Trust me, shutting off works for the best. Things just remain neutral and you do not burn your bridges.
2007-07-30 10:30:17 · answer #8 · answered by kingleo 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, it makes you a healthy person. Don't be anyone's doormat or punching-bag. Anyone and I mean anyone who treats you in a cruel or mean manner isn't someone you should continue to be friendly towards. Don't allow these people to treat you like they are a rock star and you are the groupie who will put up with anything from them just for their company. You deserve MUCH better. Good for you!
2007-08-03 06:26:50 · answer #9 · answered by jumpingrightin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nope I had a friend who was always talking **** about me and starting rumors so I just cut her out of my life, she no longer exists to me. she even tryed to get in touch with me a few years back saying she was sorry and wanted to be friends again, i never returned her call and to this day i can care less about her. people like that are'nt friends. and no you are not selfish, the other person is selfish for thinking that they can treat you like crap but yet still have you as a friend.
2007-08-02 12:23:57 · answer #10 · answered by yourstrulytx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've just joined your club, Marian!! When I was younger, I used to be really sad and go mum, when my friends used to make fun of me. When I grew older I stopped reacting to those who insulted waiting someday to pay them back. As far as I am concerned, you can't call it selfishness. Its like you've had it enough of reacting to those statements your peers make. Most probably it is because you find it too trivial to handle and you think you have other serious things to take care of.
2007-07-30 06:46:19 · answer #11 · answered by Vips Says 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋