Should I be upset that my ex slept with someone else only 10 days after we broke up?

Question

My ex and I just recently started talking again. I left the house about 24 days ago. When we started talking again he told me he met someone at a bar and had a one night stand. This is botheing me a bit. I mean it was only 10 days after I left our home (we were living together) He does tell me, the Ross line "We were on a break". This is true, but I can't belive he did that already... Should this bother me enough not to try and start slow again which is what he wants? Any advice would help...Thanks.

Answer 1

Well the way I see it is that no, you should not be upset because if you are broken up then that means it's over.However I feel where you're coming from, I've had ex boyfriends who have moved on before i even got a chance to clear out all my feelings for them.But still I strongly believe that you should let him go and get a boyfriend that will accept how far you are willing to go when a relationship first starts out.I hope my advice helps a little.

Answer 2

Ok, people are going to tell you that you're wrong as technically you guys weren't together but I can completely understand how you're feeling. Even though you had left the house the fact that he slept with someone else is like a slap in the face to you and it's insulting what you had together (even if you weren't together at the time - sometimes that doesn't matter). An ex of mine (who I'd been with for a few years) did this to me once, a week after we broke up and even though he begged me on numerous occasions afterwards to give him another go I couldn't get the thoughts of him and this other girl out of my head so I never got back with him - that's nearly 5 years ago now and boy am I glad I didn't. With clarity I can see that we were actually never meant to be together - hence the break-up in the first place. My gut instinct is that that you're in the same situation. You need to take time to yourself to assess how you feel and decide if you can get over this or not but maybe the fact that you'd actually left the house in the first place is a good enough sign....

Answer 3

If you were broken up, why do you care? He didn't hide it from you and you weren't together anymore, so he wasn't "cheating". Ex usually implies ex-spouse, if you were just living together, there is no commitment there not to see other people anyway, you are just 2 people living together. And obviously having sex with each other. Consider why you "broke up" in the first place. If it was something serious enough for you to "leave the house" maybe it is serious enough for you to not reenter a relationship with him. Or at least give it 6 months or so where you are NOT living together. If he wants to start slow, start back at the dating/ no sex stage. That should be slow enough. However, if this "one night stand" (if that is all it was) really bothers you, take a 6 month break and see other people.

Answer 4

Of course you have the right to feel upset by it! But as a bloke I can tell you that it probably didn't mean a damn thing to him and it was just a way of easing some of the pain of your break up. However, he gave you the line 'we were on a break' which implies that you ne thought you might get back together. If he feels genuine remorse for it and tries to make it up with you then try and forget it. I am surprised he told you though! Some people can be too honest. What was his motive for this? If he says he wants to get back together then I am sure he does but do you want the image of him with some other girl haunting you and coming up in arguements? It will when you are mad trust me! My advice really is to stay away longer until you are sure of your feelings for him and the fact that he slept with someone else. Oh yes and if you are serious about getting back with him but want to even up the score then you know what to do....

Answer 5

Look pull yourself together, you were on a break. So what do you expect him to do watch his life go by while you get your air head together. You are not on the same planet, you dont understand men at all, for him to turn down some spare like that you would have had to send him to rehab. I bet bar girl was looking lovely after his 8th pint. Get over it and stop using this minor event as an excuse not to deal with the real issues in your relationship - you know bar girl is only a side show and stop being so insecure.

Answer 6

I think that was very disrespectful of him after such a short time. Did you think about going and getting laid so soon? No of course not, because you just thought you needed some space and expected to get back together again. Did he think that you and he were truly finished I wonder. If that is what you told him, then I suppose he could have just picked someone up for some quick relief - according to men that is not being unfaithful (in their minds anyway). So it is up to you how much you actually want to get back with him, and if you can forgive him. You need to discuss what he means by "slowing down". And if this isn't what you want, then tell him.

Answer 7

well your call really

he did it, yes, but he was honest - so you can respect that at least
it was a on nite stand, he hasnt started elsewhere, if hes one of those that 'needs sex' then that might be all it was

end of the day tho if you find it hurts - then it hurts

question really is how bad does it stop you wanting to and has it hurt so much you no longer want to try

also there are oft good reasons someone has become an ex - but then dont know the story.

you do - you ahve to trust your self - or learn how to improve your comapss by trusting yourself and learning to understnad things better - thats done by following your thoughts and feelings - so read some opinions, sometimes that helps to not feel so alone - but it has to be your choice, and probably better to make that choice alone rather than hav to much input from any one else

Answer 8

You left the house so right at that moment you left him alone, free, it might sound too soon but it was one night stand and at least he was honest and told you about it. It didn't mean anything, it was just a sexual encounter and it's over.
If it bothered you, you should leave it just like that, like a mosquito bite, it hurt while he told you, now is gone and move on, if there are still feelings between you work on that and look up to what the future can bring you.

Answer 9

1 Week and 3 days

well to get over somebody a (normal) person would normally get upset in like two weeks so this doesnt really surprise me. Although he got a gf so quick that you should be bothered. I mean he could of cheated? To me that is a world record lol
On a break? He shouldnt of sed tht, that is not how you treat love if you know what I mean. Try and not contact him if this bothers you deeply, it would seriously bother me. Try and get over yourself from him slowly ... Hope this is some good help lol.
Go out with your friends or whatever to take your mind of him. :) Good luck! :)

Answer 10

It can be seen 2 ways - he was hurt and this was his stupid rebellious way to make himself feel good. Or he is just a selfish pig who is only after all he can get from whoever will give it - Only you know the difference. the excuse we were on a break makes it sound like a tad of the latter to me, he thinks it was giving him free reign to cop off with another girl. It is a totally lame excuse conjured up for weak willed blokes who need an excuse to cheat on their wives/girlfriends at the slightest hint of trouble.

I would react like you, in that I would be upset, hurt, angry and all the rest. If you're not sure about it, take a step back again, if you explain it to him and he truly loves you he should understand.