i've been in a 7 year relationship. we've recently broke up. this past week, he has been calling me 2-3 times a day, leaving me msgs like "im in trouble, pick up".. but, he is seeing another already. i cant and dont want to speak to him because it still hurts... plus, why talk if he has "moved on"? so, a few days ago, i changed my cell phone number. but i feel sorta sad. what can i do to feel better. im not ready to speak to him or any of his friends. why do i feel this way?
2007-07-26 02:19:26 · 13 answers · asked by jenny 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Because you are hurt. And actually very smart for not taking his calls. I don't know why you broke up but no matter after 7 years it hurts really bad. And you have a right to feel sad. If he has another already he should be calling her for help. Be strong honey - if it wasn't bad, you would still be with him. Time is going to heal the hurt. Don't fall for anymore garbage. Good luck and I hope you find the man of your dreams - he's out there.
2007-07-26 06:17:53 · answer #1 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel this way because part of you is angry, and part of you is hurt- in life we have 2 emotions we react upon- LOVE and FEAR- you fear falling into a trap, allowing yourself to be open to more hurt, you love him still and this love may always be there, but you have to let go. Your heart and mind are now agreeing that it is time to move forward. It sounds like he doesn't want to be involved "romantically" anymore, but for some reason, maybe his own insecurities, he sounds like he is still depending on you to help him. I had a former bf like this, we broke up and he wanted me to co-sign for a car so he could get his own car, he kept leaving messages crying etc.. then after some time went by his messages got nasty and threatening, the tone would be nasty, then he would cry again. Finally I got my number changed and he started coming over to my house when my parents weren't home, I had to call the cops to keep him away.
I am 40 and married now for 14 years but sometimes things just work out on their own, things happen for a reason. It will take time for you to get over him, 7 years is a very long time, but if he already found someone else that quickly, this indicates that the relationship has actually ended prior to when you both called it quits-
It is best to keep your strength, go out with friends, don't thrive on finding someone else right away. I found my husband when I wasn't looking, I was fed up with men and didn't care anymore and that is when I met my husband-
You need time and space to accept this, and mend from it- then you can move on to other relationships. But what you are doing is not being ignorant or mean, you are shielding yourself and regaining your stength to move on.
Many hugs
2007-07-26 09:32:40 · answer #2 · answered by brandy2007 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You did the right thing changing your contact info. Yes it hurts.
Only time will make it feel better. What you CAN do is work on YOU - new hairdo, take that class you've been wanting to do. Make new friends. Go to that lecture on some obscure subject that caught your attention years before you met "Toadboy." Finish your education - earn more money to boot.
For now, however, no man will measure up - and down - to "Toadboy." Men will be creaky, smelly, mossy, prickly, whatever - or they will remind you of "Toadboy" and that's worse. That's OK. Go out by yourself. Go out with friends.
Sooner or later someone who not only deserves a nice gal like you - but knows how to treat a nice gal like you really well - will come along - and all will be right again.
But for now - no. Heal first. and talking to Toadboy will only be picking at scabs - which prevents your wound from healing. Don't do it. Leave it alone.
You owe Toadboy absolutely nothing. He just wants to use you for something - sex, company, bail - whatever.
Since he has "moved on" with someone else - then let HER worry about it.
2007-07-26 09:31:59 · answer #3 · answered by Barbara B 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why you feel this way is because you are going through a painful but natural and necessary process called grieving. Seven years is a long time! Of course it's going to take awhile to let go of your emotions. It's no wonder you need some distance to sort through your feelings. Him calling you was like constantly peeling the scab off a wound -- he was not letting you even begin to heal. You were wise to change your number. It's important to give yourself time to get over such a long-term relationship, one that sounds like it ended painfully.
2007-07-26 09:26:00 · answer #4 · answered by Happy-2 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You feel like cause you were in a seven year relationship. Its going to hurt and once you give yourself to someone for that long they kinda become apart of you. I say have your time then move on. If he was a good freind then why lose that. Just wait until your up to it. Hell, take some time to pamper you and ge to know your changes cause believe me you have changed. Just take your time to hurt then get back tto lovin life. And to be honest you will always remember that pain just dont let it take over or consume you. Good luck.
2007-07-26 09:41:27 · answer #5 · answered by beautifull103087 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The way u feel is normal, and what u r doing is the best for U. If he has "move on" then u should too. If u r not ready to talk to him, then don't do it! Who cares that he is "in trouble" he can call his new girl and ak her to bail him out. If he is done with u, than let him suffer the consequences.
Keep it up girl!
2007-07-26 09:32:20 · answer #6 · answered by Bri 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cuz honey your out of your comfort zone...... Ur just gonna have to keep yourself busy, go for walks, read a new book, so see a movie with some friends, maybe even start a new project. It will eventually go away in the long run, but it wont be easy. I know this from experience. Goodluck babygirl
2007-07-26 09:27:00 · answer #7 · answered by Destiney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You feel the "emotions" of ending a chapter of your life. There is not one thing wrong with allowing the emotions to flow... In fact, people who "repress" emotions become depressed. It's great that you want to take a break from any type of communication. I believe what you are doing is refusing to take on "his" pain in this break up, which is exactly what you should do, refuse it. You have enough to take care of, which is yourself. I commend you for stepping up, allowing yourself this "time out", and finding yourself so that you can later get on with your life... Not many people have the courage to do this...
2007-07-26 09:28:24 · answer #8 · answered by T. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like you said, your still hurt and trying to move on and I think your doing the right thing by avoiding him. You have to do what you must to be able to move on. Seven years is a long time and I wish you the best.
2007-07-26 09:31:17 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just please give yourself time. you seem like your head is directing you in the right direction but your emotions are still there.....but your head is strong. just give it some time and don't do anything impulsive. one thing i hate is wishy washy relationships where you break up and make up all the time. you are doing good. keep it up.
2007-07-26 09:41:02 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋