My wife and I have come to a place where we don't like each other to much. I know we love and care for each others well being,but we don't talk much without argueing. And sex is next to none. I have a great libdo, but i stay so upset with her that I am not attracted to her. Any suggestions?
2007-07-26 02:18:23 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well you both could try growing up and remembering what made you fall in love with each other to begin with, take a evening walk, look at the roses,
life is way to short to argue over BS, really is, I am 46 and have so many friends my age with cancer or died from heart attacks, give in and hug her, kiss her,, tell her you are sorry and you love her,, before it is all taken away from you
2007-07-26 02:22:54 · answer #1 · answered by rich2481 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Sounds like maybe you need to take some time to find each other again and certainly counseling would be a start to do that. But also step back and look at what you are argueing about and why. Control issues can rear their ugly head anytime within a marriage. You can change those behaviors. Another perspective and spending quality time talking to each other should help you find the place you used to be in together.
2007-07-26 09:32:46 · answer #2 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ugh - doesn't sound good. Unfortunately, I know exactly what you're going through because I'm living the same thing. My only suggestion for you is to try to find those feelings that brought you together in the first place. Try to stay positive and go out together often to try to reignite the flame. If you have children, get a babysitter/relative to take the kids. Another option would be to try counseling, but make sure you go to the right one who will steer you in the direction that is right for you - ask friends or do some research on what types of questions to ask when searching for one.
I'm going to save this question to see if any of your answers can help me! Good luck to you.
2007-07-26 09:27:27 · answer #3 · answered by mom2two 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you give up try marriage counseling. Don't give up yet. Try to sit her down and discuss what is going on maybe go on a couples retreat or a mini-vacation would do trick. Often after years of marriage and usually when kids are involved we as wives become drained with work kids and household duties. Maybe by helping out more around the house she will feel compelled to want to spend more time making love and less time arguing.
2007-07-26 09:30:17 · answer #4 · answered by TELO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you both need to sit down and talk about starting over from when you too used to like each other. Talk about the things you like about each other and try to accept your differences.
I am going thru the same thing with my husband but we don't want to call it quits. I didn't even realize that he was upset with me alot of the time because he gets quiet and doesn't want to talk about problems. Now I am trying to look at him differently and looking at the positive things that I like about him. I am still not getting enough sex, but I am hoping it will come natural as we start to communicate again. Good luck, and hang in there. Don't give up, sounds like you both still care for each other.
2007-07-26 09:40:27 · answer #5 · answered by Ellyn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you thought about talking to someone? My husband and I have been through the same thing, but we talked about it. And for me to say this as a woman but it was pretty much all my fault. But I work through it and things are great. Actually that's an understatement. Our relationship is like it was when we first got together 12years ago. Sex whenever it's GREAT and that's with having 2 kids too. Hope this helped!
2007-07-26 10:18:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What sparked this situation? Where did you get off track? Have you two tried to discuss what's really going on?
What made you fall in love in the first place? Do you want to get back in love?
If you cannot answer these on your own, you should think about counseling. Good luck!
2007-07-26 09:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by burbam2001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude I know exactly how you feel about everything you just said word for freaking word. We went to a counselor and it help us 100%. Things are not perfect but no one has a perfect relationship. But I will say I truely beleive it saved the marriage. So my suggestion to you is go to coulseling. Good luck bro.
2007-07-26 11:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by IIIxKrazy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say to seperate for a while and see if that is what is best for the two of you, you may find that it isn't want you want- don't rush right into a divorce in case you both change your mind, but just stay somewhere for a few weeks and see how it works for you. It may or may not but at least you will know where your heart is, what you truly want.
2007-07-26 09:44:39 · answer #9 · answered by brandy2007 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take some time out. Go away for a while on your own... assure her that you still love her & be faithful to her... tell her how long you need to stay away.
Usually it works... if not, try professional counselling... that almost always works.
2007-07-26 09:32:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋