My Friend M. has not been involved with a man in over 11 yrs, I don't care if they hook up, but I'm so worried that he will hurt her, take advantage of her, and use her..... M. knows how he was with me.. he's not a good man, her daughter already called me last night, she hates him, as he is so mean to her and already mean to her mom, I feel that M. will chose him over her daughter, as she is that lonely, that desperate to have a man back in her life... I broke up with him, because after 3 1/2 yrs, together, I had become his maid, cook, laundry, you name it, I did it for him, because I had enjoyed spoiling him during the first months of our new lives together, but after a few months, it got old, I KNOW MY FAULT! I spoiled him, but he did nothing back to me.... except make life hell for me at times, his family told me to dump him, but I waited until I could not take it anymore... & finally I ended it.. Now he's either going after her for spite. or to make her life hell.
2007-07-26 01:45:03 · 8 answers · asked by ~ANGEL~EYES~ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I'm worried, because she is my friend and she is a good person, but she feels that she can't find a good man, my ex is not a giving kind loving person... but I will support her and of course be her friend, but I don't want to see her and her daughter get hurt..... by him or any man... I told her everything that went on with him and I, and she knows everything from good to bad to worse wtih him, I just hope she doesn't get hurt... yes, she is an adult... it's her life. I just hate seeing friends get hurt by anyone.... male or female! Thank you for your comments... NO, I don't want him back. That is never going to happen..... I'm very Happy with my new man, and things are going very well!
2007-07-26 01:48:19 · update #1
Duh, Of course I care, & No, I'm not jealous, what a stupid lame comment, did you read my entire question, I care about people, that I dated 25 yrs ago, what a simple minded person you are!
2007-07-26 01:53:54 · update #2
Mr. Taco, WOW! THANK YOU for that AWESOME COMMENT!!! You put it so sincerely! You Made My Heart Smile! :-)
2007-07-26 01:56:57 · update #3
C.E. Oh My GOD! I know his ex wife, I know and talk to his adult kids, he's like this with every woman, at first a little charm, but after he has you hooked, it all goes down hill from there, no, this new relationship is not more important to him, because I know all of his tricks and history with women, but I learned all of this way after the fact of us, and it's not good at all, M. is so lonely, so alone, so desperate, that she would take in any guy... but that was pretty sad of a comment... to state that, but oh well, you don't know what your talking about....... S.T.B.Y.
2007-07-26 02:10:29 · update #4
When will people realize that it is better to be "alone" than to be with an abusive idiot? You need to sit down with your friend, ask her what is going on, and tell her how you feel. Remind her of all that he has done. Remind her about her child. Recommend strongly to her, because you care about her and her well-being, that she not even talk to this guy, let alone date him. Then take her out to have some fun. If she agrees, then help her avoid him and call the cops if he won't leave her alone. If she does not agree, then step aside and let her mess up her life. Once a person decides they are going to go for it, there is little you can do except wait for it all to fall apart and be there when she needs someone's shoulder to cry on. Hopefully your friend has enough sense to not let that happen.
And it is NOT your fault he treated you like that. Never take blame for someone else being a manipulating jerk. He was a grown man. You didn't spoil him. He manipulated you. Quite a difference.
Good luck!
p.s. You might consider sending her some information on abusive relationships. Do a search online and you'll find a lot of websites that deal with this problem. The more information she has, the easier it will be for her to make a rational decision.
2007-07-26 01:52:16 · answer #1 · answered by Mr. Taco 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You need to tell your friend that there are other,much better fish in the ocean. Make sure she understands and remembers his total lack of respect that he has for the women in his life. Ask your friend if that is the kind of relationship that she wants. Tell her that her whole family can not be wrong, and not to be totally blind to his charms because most likely, the person that he is now, is not the true person that she will have to live with. Maybe you should set her up with someone so she learns that there are other much better men out there.
There is also that small possiblility that the relationship that he has with your friend could be more important to him than the relationship that he had with you. Maybe he will feel vulnerable enough to treat her better. Unlikely though!
2007-07-26 08:58:37 · answer #2 · answered by C E 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't see it as you being jealous. I know what you mean. You know how this man is and you don't want him to take advantage of your friend. However, there really isn't much you can do for her. She is an adult, and she knows what he put you through. If she is still so desparate as to want to pursue a relationship with him, then so be it. I wouldn't say anything more to her at this point (or she may construe it for jealousy), as she already has heard your side. If she wants to take the risk, it is her decision now. It will be interesting to see how long it lasts!
2007-07-26 09:02:06 · answer #3 · answered by Annie 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have already talked with your friend and told her A to Z about him. Really it is up to her now. Have you thought about asking your new man if he has a friend who might be willing to go out on a blind date or double date? Maybe, you have a friend or co worker who is nice. Show your friend there is more out there then this man......?
Also, all you can really do now is be there for her and her daughter.
Good luck
2007-07-26 08:54:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe m could change your ex.. or maybe he will make her life a living hell. but maybe it will be the other way around...do you believe in karma? what goes around comes around, you know? its God's will...anything can happen..just relax and let life takes on it own course. afterall, it is not your business anymore. m is an adult and let her think for herself cause she knows the situation between you and your ex before right?an adult should judge life by themselves and should be responsible of their own actions.
2007-07-26 08:55:22 · answer #5 · answered by putera_lucifer 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you're with a guy like that who doesnt really appreciate what he has, there's no point in trying to please him because he would never really appreciate it. your friend is feeling vulnerable at the moment, and what she needs in her life is someone to look after her and make her feel wanted. the reason why she's most likely with him is because he's the one person who takes interest in her, and having gone all this time without someone like that can really draw you in
2007-07-26 08:52:27 · answer #6 · answered by kristyb872001 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You friend is her own unique person,different yet similar to you.You can't predict if they will connect.Life is full of life affirming experiences which make us what we become.Offer advice and insight,and be there for her if it goes wrong,but let her make her own way
2007-07-26 09:05:01 · answer #7 · answered by mad&sad 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
this is out of your hands,i think deep down inside you still care,and maybe a little jealous,this is between you friend and your ex,she needs to make her own decision,you can't make it for her
2007-07-26 08:49:35 · answer #8 · answered by tnsupermomwhit 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋