I've been married for 6 months, and from the beginning, people around me kept telling me to take care of my appearance, because my husband is good-looking and I look like a BUM! Messy hair, no make-up, baggy clothes...so about a month ago, I decided it was time to change, and slowly but surely, I started putting on make-up, do my hair, wear sexy clothes...a total knock-out! Great you would think, except that now my husband thinks I'm cheating on him and is very jealous!!! He thinks I'm doing this for someone else and says I'm "mysterious"...I tell him that no, that is just me, new and improved, but still will act jealous and distrustful!! I thought he'd be proud of me...I don't get it. Anyone can explain?
2007-07-26 00:45:50 · 12 answers · asked by sansayo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Your husband has very low self esteem. Let him know that you want to feel good about yourself and that when both of you are out together, you want him too be proud to be with you. Also tell him that he should be proud that other men find you attractive and remind him that you are going home with him. Also tell him that eveyone will always admire and look at pretty things but that doesn't mean that they really want it or expect to have it.
2007-07-26 00:53:28 · answer #1 · answered by hotmama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You looked like a bum when you married him, he loves you for who you are not all fancied up. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to look your best, but such a drastic change would make a person think bad things. I started losing some weight and exercising because I thought I was fat and my husband started asking questions about someone else. Just keep telling him that you done it for you and noone else. Did you happen to tell him that everyone kept telling you that you better take care of your appearance?
2007-07-26 01:31:46 · answer #2 · answered by orphan annie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, this is the tough part about marraige...listening to everyone else except to your own hubby...they thought they were doing good by telling you this because there are men out there who go looking at "so called prettier" ladies because their wife is plain jane...then an affair happens...this may have happened to some of these people giving what they think is good advice...but, what works for one may not work for another...so, here is my suggestion...dress up only if you both are planning on going out together...=). Put the make up on only before he gets home from work...=). Let him know this...so he does not keep worrying =). Or, don't wear the make up every day...he likes you as you =). Ask him if he likes you better w/o make up...and then listen to him! He's the hubby...=). Good Luck and be happy w/ who you are...don't worry about what others think, just worry about what hubby thinks...!
2007-07-26 01:00:18 · answer #3 · answered by elvlayarvvi fEisty wife and mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband married the messy hair, no make-up, baggy clothes girl. He didn't expect you to change to keep him happy. He loved you for who you were! Many good looking men marry women like you were, because they like being the "attraction". He may not want you to be the one being looked at. May be best to sit him down and explain why you made the changes. You may be surprised by what he has to tell you!
2007-07-26 00:54:26 · answer #4 · answered by Debi 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Chances are he is confused. He thought he was marrying a down to earth, appearances mean nothing type of girl and she changed on him.
Best bet for now is to downplay the change just a tad, go for a middle of the road between the two extremes until he can adjust.
Keep communicating with him and always show him that he is first in your life. Actions speak louder than words.
2007-07-26 01:05:17 · answer #5 · answered by Rebecca W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A man loves a woman for what she looks like now, that means if you dressed a certain way when you both met and dated that he liked you that way. This is what many women do not seem to understand. That is the reason some (or many men) tend to lose the attraction to their women after they put on 20 pounds (or more). They love you for what you are now. So basically, my advise to you would be to just be yourself, if you dressed a certain way before and he liked it you should stay that way.
2007-07-26 01:23:49 · answer #6 · answered by mktmonitor 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since a sudden drastic improvement IS sometimes a signal that a spouse is cheating, it is understandable that your husband might misinterpret this. Just keep reassuring him. Hopefully, he will come to understand and like the new you.
2007-07-26 00:51:31 · answer #7 · answered by 13th Floor 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you tell him about all that "helpful" advice from your "friends". If he married you looking like a "bum" maybe he liked you that way. Anyway, he definitely married you for you, right? Hopefully sharing your inner insecurity about him will make him grateful, not suspicious!
2007-07-26 00:55:04 · answer #8 · answered by Nadine - Unity CEO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your hubby may not be real sure of himself. Maybe he saw the beautiful you underneath all along, but now that you are fixing yourself up he's afraid he can't keep you. Communicate with each other.. a lot. Good luck!
2007-07-29 17:24:41 · answer #9 · answered by jjohnny65 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
coz u did it suddenly, u shoul have asked him b4 doing such changes or told him like this for example: "sweety ..what do u think of changing my hair colour?" or " what about having a new look? what r ur suggestions?"
it comes like that sweety not suddenly
Good luck
2007-07-26 00:57:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋