McCann question?

Question

Up until now I have been watching this story from a distance and trying not to form judgments about the people involved (except the mob of stalkers who appear OBSSESED by this case and Gerry)

But I am curious about peoples 'honest' views on Gerry McCann’s statement to ABC. I have no evidence to suggest he is lying so I accept it at face value. Is what he is saying happened really unreasonable? Do we all not make these kinds of judgment calls daily?


"Appearing and speaking on ABC's Good Morning America, the heart specialist said: "We were dining 50 yards away and we could see the apartment from where we were. It's like we were sat in our back garden, all be it at the end of our garden. The kids were sound asleep and they were being checked regularly. We didn't think we needed a babysitter. We are good parents and what we did felt perfectly reasonable at the time.

Hindsight is an incredible thing. Clearly we couldn't have predicted what was to happen."

Just for in the interest of comparison. Should the mother of Jamie Bulger also have been charged with neglect or did she just make a mistake? Why is it different?

How can I link the two cases?
I am the father of a 3 year old. That means I am 100% responsible at all times for what happens to him. I have had incidents in shops where he slips my hand and runs off. But I would never allow myself to be distracted enough that I would not notice as I am responsible for knowing where he is 100% of the time. He is only 3. So if I lost him I would consider it neglect of my duty of care.

So, why do we hate one but sympathies with the other? Either people can make mistakes and errors of judgment or they can’t. I think it’s a class / money thing.

Also, what about the stories we hear in the news about babys and young todlers being found drowned in ponds at the end of their own gardens?

Neglect or mistake?

By the way. I am not a supporter and I don’t know the answers myself. I am just fascinated by how we condemn some and support others. In each case it could be neglect or mistake. It depends on how you chose to look at it.

Answer 1

No there are witnesses saying that they left the kids every night while they went out on the town
Edit: dont dare compare the Bulger case to this completely different circumstances Denise never left the bairn every feckin night alone to go out on the piss

Answer 2

Taking Gerry's statement at face value ....

"We were only 50 yards away and we could see the apartment from where we were" ... if this was so then how does he explain how no-one in their party SAW either Madeleine leaving or her being taken?

We do all make judgement calls - but this seems like such a fundamental breach of what we all, as parents, see as even normal parenting (let alone 'responsible') that it leaves one feeling simply aghast.

To then have the McCanns portrayed in the press as conquering heroes and an example to us all, AND to see the McCanns themselves excusing and defending their behaviour, rather than just admitting that they were wrong, does not endear them to people.

Even the vast majority of people who defend them to the hilt admit that the children should never have been left - why can the McCanns not just put their hands up and do the same?

Answer 3

IMHO the difference is this: Jamie Bulger's mum turned around for a minute, in an incredibly crowded shopping centre and he let go of her hand...That is a mistake. Leaving 3 children in an unlocked room every night for FOUR nights is neglectful and asking for trouble. IF the McCann's had done this on the first night and Maddie disappeared I would probably have more sympathy for them, but (to repeat a tasteless metaphor I used in another question), if you left your keys in the ignition of the car, with the doors unlocked every night and it got stolen, can you then claim it was a mistake and ask for sympathy? No, it's stupidity to assume that it will be safe. (I bet, when at home, the McCann's lock their vehicle/s every night)

And as for the defence being used of "We SHOULDN'T have to watch our kids all the time", well there are plenty of things we SHOULDN'T have to do, locking your front door when you go out, for example, but we HAVE to do them if we want to keep ourselves, our families and our belongings safe. No, we SHOULDN'T have to watch our kids 24/7, but it's better to be safe than sorry, isn't it?

Maddie should never have been in a position where her only defence was herself. She was four, for God's sake, what if she had fallen over in the loo and cracked her head on the floor? What if there had been a fire? What if she woke up upset after a nightmare? Should a child EVER have to wake up alone, with no adult there? I don't believe so, and as long as she is missing, I will be trying to get my opinion across, that she would never have been in this situation had her parents not failed in their duties.

If we, the general public, won't stand up for Maddie, and fight to ensure that no other child is left in the same vulnerable position, who will? I'm sorry that the McCann's are suffering, but it is nothing to what Maddie has had or is having, (God forbid) to endure. Their suffering is meaningless complared to that of a scared child who was let down by the very people who were supposed to protect her.

Answer 4

How can they ask the youngster to be courageous while god knows what's occurring to her. I want they had instructed madeleine that they regretted leaving her and her brother and sister by myself for the entire of the holiday. i certainly do think of that the McCanns ought to be grateful that in basic terms one infant went lacking that night for an abductor could have taken all 3 he had the time to. My recommendations are with Madeleine i think so sorry for that little female. yet my emotions of blame are moving returned in direction of Robert Murat, he became into there gazing and observed each and every thing that became into occurring. chuffed Christmas Madeleine everywhere you're.

Answer 5

I seem to recall Denise Bulger beating herself up on TV for doing absolutely nothing wrong. I seem to also recall Mrs Bulger distraught and unable to carry on from day to day she never to my knowledge kept a daily diary and jogged around Manchester. She kept on quitely campaigning at her own expense two keep the two boys who did this locked up. She then tracked one of them down intent on killing them but at the last moment backed down saying two wrongs don't make a right. She left no stone unturned to find these two boys who were lets face it taken and hidden away. She was a determined mother. She didn't swan around from country to country lecturing others, she was heartbroken. Thats the difference, this woman did nothing wrong and she paid a high price and till this day she is still a broken person - the McCanns are not fit to stand in her shadow. Mrs. Bulger never took her little boy out to a busy shopping centre and left him why she went to have a cup of coffee or a drink somewhere. Thats the difference between right and wrong. No one is obsessed with hating a parent who has gone through losing a child, most people are saying look you left this child alone she went missing you are to blame at least show a bit of remorse. Hindsight is an incredible thing but common sense is even more powerful.

Answer 6

Denise Bulger cannot possibly be compared to the McCanns, the situations were totally different. Madelaine McCann was left alone with her siblings intentionally, Jamie let go of his Mum's hand for a few seconds, she could not have possibly known what was to come in that short space of time. Leaving your kids alone knowingly, however, you are well aware of the risks and you are therefore responsible for what happens to them as a result.

Answer 7

jb - first of all I'm not obsessed with St G & St K - I do ask/answer questions about them when I'm on the site and yes, I'm rather critical. But apparently the "50 yards" is a wee bit short of the actual distance and according to reports - only the roof of the apartments was visible from where these people were sitting. Now, I don't know if that is true or untrue. Fact is they left three wee children all alone in a flat. OK the babbies were sleeping when ma & pa left but I'm sure that a very good percentage of people on here either have or have dealt with young childen. They don't ALWAYS sleep right through.Not only that, GMcC's own mother apparently let slip that they had done the same thing every night of the holiday and nothing untoward had happened. Do you maybe see where we're all coming from now?

And while I'm at it - STATING OPINIONS DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE EVIL!!!!

Edit 15.45: JB - don't think you can compare the two. Denise B let go of her son's hand for a sec and he was off. These two left their three kids alone in an apartment in a foreign country and went out to enjoy themselves. It's like comparing what happened to the wee boy who died here the other day. The parents took their eyes off him for seconds while unloading shopping from their car and he drowned. There is a vast difference.

Answer 8

Up until now I too have watched this story from a distance and found YA not the newspapers or TV asking the questions that I was asking myself -
It is not a mistake to leave your children and go out to eat and drink but a lifestyle choice

Answer 9

Seeing him appoint himself as some sort of ambassador for missing children, as if he can hold his head up high and claim he did all he could to protect his little girl is totally and utterly sickening. I do hope he gets heckled and made to realise that most decent, ordinary parents across the world think what they did was totally wrong and horribly selfish. Comments like "We have been assured by the authorities that what we did fell within the boundaries of good parenting," are a vile insult to good parents everywhere.

*Edit* Just to agree with CT, comparing to the Bulger case is ridiculous, she let him go for very short time in a shopping centre. The McCanns PLANNED to have YET ANOTHER night out leaving their very young children at risk of many things, abduction being the least of them. Totally and utterly different, if you can't see that I give up.

*Edit* Oh yes - 'the 50 yards' thing is totally disingenuous, even as the crow flies it is probably over that but you have to walk round the pool, down stairs through gate etc.
Also, do they have a garden that is open to the public with a huge swimming pool in it?
One more thing - they might have been able to make out the top of the apartment but again it is disingenuous to say they could see it as they could not see the door they had left unlocked!
This disgraceful man still shows no remorse or responsibility whatsoever for what has happened, almost as if the very idea they have done anything wrong has not even filtered into his mind. What indescribable arrogance.

*Edit* Scroll down to Zoe s and lululaluau's answers, both asolutely brilliant, they put it much better than I did!

Answer 10

What a cop-out of an answer. Everyone knows that the McCanns lied about everything from day one and they are still lying. Kate's "They've taken Maddie" comment is particularly suspect. How would she know that! . They deliberately left those kids alone. Who knows what really happened. There's more to this case than meets the eye.

Answer 11

There is a big difference between their back garden and a hotel in a foriegn country. At any given time there are no strangers wandering about your house where as there are countless strangers wandering about a hotel not the mention all the random people outside who can come in to use the bar. The bottom line is that they weren't at home so they are completly in the wrong, they might not have been able to predict it but why take the chance in the first place. Besides, a lot of good being able to see the room did them.