I recently asked my wife if she would like a divorce. Of course I was prepaired for a multitude of answers and got the one that I thought that I was going to get. Which was that she was thinking about it. However, she is willing to work things out. From the tone in her voice and the statements that she made she sounds like she is serious about trying to make things work.
I also asked her later on if she wants a me to help push herself in her job and education. And she said yes.
One of my questions is, do you think that she was or is wanting a divorce or if this is really a way of getting me to be a better husband?
The other is, do you think that if I do the simple things that she is requesting that it will help us out in the long run?
2007-07-24 23:59:23 · 16 answers · asked by kataklysmkamel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes the only way we can get our husbands to really hear what we are saying it is to tell them we are thinking about divorce. That's when you guys know we are serious. That is when you realize that maybe you have to rethink the way you are acting towards us. Yes - I think she was serious. She is not just trying to get you to be a better husband - she wants you to HEAR what she is saying. And yes - I also think that if help her and treat her better that it will help your marriage in the long run. It takes two people to make a marriage work. You both have to do things and take care of each other. Good luck.
2007-07-25 02:44:36 · answer #1 · answered by Babycat 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are working over time. From your words (if I get it straight) sounds like she has short answers to your very big questions. I don't have a good decription of what is/has been the problem(s). It could be a combination of all of the above. or what you didn't mention.
Sounds like you know, that you havn't been the best you can be. and are palying catch up.
And that, you question her integrity, By basically calling her gamey and manipulative verses hearing that she is telling you how it is.
Sounds like you know what you need to do.
And by your third question, to me.... it sounds like you've made promises that you've never kept and are not even sure what those little things are..... even though________ and you can fill in the blank.
But the fact that you asked these questions also means that you have been trying really hard. SO.......here's my advice..... do not ask questions that will lead you to a bad ending eg do you want a devorce if she wasn't thinken it you made it happen. Unless that is what you want, DId you offer your answer to that question?
Don't word you questions as a negative (eg push her to help hesrself). It sounded like an attempt to belittle her.
And thirdly why would you not give her the simple things in the first place. THis statement tells me you have been holding this good things back, the things that make a marriage good. Why have you been holding out?
Sorry to be brutally honest, I only mean to help you. Good luck.
2007-07-25 00:26:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know why you asked her this question in the first place. Marriage is not a given, it`s a 50/50, sometimes from time to time a 90/10 relationship..
To make you a better husband?You must feel as though you have not been living up to what she may think is the minimum standard, in her mind .I treat mine as my "Queen" .b Reminisce about when you first got together, what types of things did you do together,what did she really enjoy, re-create it and do it again, with an added twist..
Help her in her job and education,,absolutely! I helped my wife through 4 years of community college, while she was working 32 hours per week and a full time Mom..
You are the one who needs to decide why you have posted this question on here.. BTW , when is the last time you sent her flowers at her work?
Good luck
2007-07-25 01:27:38 · answer #3 · answered by I tell it like it is 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is apparent that she has been thinking of getting a divorce. But it would appear that you have also been thinking of it as you asked the question.
I would suggest you both sit down and find out what the issues are and if they can be resolved. It is not just the simple things that have to be resolved, there is more there. The reason I say this is you were both thinking of the divorce.
Seek out a marriage counsellor first to see if you can and are both willing to save the marriage. If the marriage cannot be saved then an amicable divorce settlement can be reached.
Good luck in saving your marriage, hope it all works out well.
2007-07-25 00:13:33 · answer #4 · answered by kenloften 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Im young and hav never been married, but ive had to suffer watching my aunt and uncle get a divorce (and they were the perfect example of love). He held her back and didnt try hard enough, convinced everything was hopeless. im sure if hed tried, they couldve had a beautiful life with their three kids. When she left she went back to school and got a job and has never been happier, but everyone thinks it wouldve made a happier romance if thered been any. Another aunt and uncle of mine divorced twice and remarried and to this day are still in love. Try to remember what your relationship was like when it was still passionate and ALWAYS be there for your wife even if its only in a friendly way. I think love is worth the effort. If youve gotten lost make a new path. Put her happiness above your own and everything will work out somehow.
2007-07-25 00:07:50 · answer #5 · answered by Axe 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
1. Each of you pursuing a dream is the #1 way to bring a sense of personal fulfillment back into the relationship.
2. YES YES YES! do those little things she asks... do them well and go beyond what she asks.
3. She is dead serious about a divorce but equally serious about making it work. She is going to make her decision based on what you do next.
2007-07-25 01:05:52 · answer #6 · answered by Mindlessfun 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should always be a positive influence in helping her succeed in her job and her education. Why are you questioning her motives? Why are each of you considering a divorce in the first place?
2007-07-25 00:38:14 · answer #7 · answered by Sunshine 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definately! Helping out with the simplest things can mean a great deal to a woman. My husband never does anything I ask him to, drives me nuts. Good Luck, I hope you work everything out.
2007-07-25 00:11:06 · answer #8 · answered by jaytei 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a strong feeling you know the answers to this already.
Just try to work it out. If you havent been an ideal husband so far, now is the time to try it out.
Good luck.
2007-07-25 00:02:50 · answer #9 · answered by Erin B 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Why aren't you helping her out anyway??? Are you not her husband?? A husband should be there for his wife!!!! Why don't you both try some counselling and see where that goes?? It can only help you. Take care.
2007-07-25 00:04:26 · answer #10 · answered by winona e 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋