I am 25 and my parents want me to get married soon.They are looking for a suitable boy for me.Theproblem is that all the persons they choose for me i dont like them. I believe that marriage is a relationship based on love..U sud love a person to marry him..but my parents say that love wil come after marriage..My heart is not willing to accept this while my mind says that ur family is suffering because of u as i have youger sisters after me who have to get married too...All my life i have always wanted a person who wud love me .. who wud be my friend..But in reality all i get to see is quite the opposite..I am petrified of marriage..i dont know what to do..Listern to my heart and wait for the right person and upset my parents more..Or sud i make my parents happy by marrying their choice and break my own heart ?
2007-07-24 23:01:47 · 12 answers · asked by Lucy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are right, and your parents are right.
You should wait for the right person to marry, not just anyone. Your parents are right that love does come after the marriage--if they are talking about an arranged marriage happening in the far corner of the universe.
I'm guessing you're feeling the pressure to get married because tradition dictates that the older child should marry before her younger siblings.
If you have a career of your own, move out and write home often. Your parents will be disappointed and maybe embarrassed, but they will be doubly upset and humiliated if you end your marriage with a divorce.
2007-07-24 23:17:38 · answer #1 · answered by Lighthouse 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are 25 so decide your own happiness,if you dont do it nobody will......but if this is a religious thing and common in your family why didnt you have a talk with your parents when you became adult...you knew it would happen this way anyway...you sound like a true romantic so an arranged marriage isnt for you...it only proved when you rejected the guys ....you couldnt fall in love with them.......at first side.What was it exactly what turned you off?????in some cases first attractions mainly psycical...could be wrong you know and sometimes after having spend time together as a proper family..LOVE can grow and when it does its strong and solid and romance aint a lot to do with it but respect and security do and for some people its a very good foundation......isnt there anybody outa all those guys who you could give it a try with,just to show your parents it will be kinda half your choice and if it doesnt feel good still then dont...you gotta Live and sleep with him,your parents dont...
2007-07-24 23:43:53 · answer #2 · answered by ajal 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, of course as an American I want to tell you that you should buck your parents and seek love - but I know that is far easier said than done. I know you can't change their minds because they have been taught a certain way and are not willing to budge.
What I can tell you is that if they pick the wrong man and he decides to have other women on the side, treat you badly or neglect you, exploit you as a household slave and treat you inferior ... you will be unhappy for a MUCH LONGER TIME than if you tell them "look, mom and dad, I simply refuse to marry any person at all you find for me. I will find my own spouse and you can concentrate your efforts on marrying the younger girls."
They will try to scare you by saying that they will not let the younger sisters marry until you GIVE IN, but they will relent - those will be empty bluffs meant to FORCE you to do their will. They love you, and they THINK they are doing the best for you, but it will only hurt you in the end. You must choose the next 50 years of your life over another 1 or 2 years of ill-will in your family!
Good luck, hon!
2007-07-25 03:02:55 · answer #3 · answered by Random_Girl 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your parents are so wrong! You are right. Love NO WAY comes after marriage. If you marry someone you don't love, just be ready for divorce, because that's what will happen.
If you are 25 years old, that excellent. That's the time to want to date different men, IF YOU FEEL LIKE IT and then naturally the man of your dreams will arrive. DO NOT LET ANYONE, ESPECIALLY YOUR PARENTS GET INVOLVED IN WHO THAT MAN IS. That is none of their business. They gave you your life, but don't let them take it away!
The man you decide to marry someday has to be the man that loves you more than words could describe, because he could never be without you. If you love him, you will feel the same way and naturally you'll get married. NOT BECAUSE SOMEBODY TOLD YOU TOO. That is a decision for you and your man to make!
I dated many men, but the man of my dreams arrived when I was 33 years old and it was so worth the wait. He was everything I've ever wanted and because I dated different men, I knew exactly what I wanted. Well I have the best life now for 12 years.
Your parents could ruin your life if they are telling you who to marry. I'm surprised they don't know that, because marriage is a commitment to someone that your going to spend the rest of your life till death do you part. So how could you marry someone you don't love? If you marry someone you don't love, you can't possibly fall in love, it will only get worse!
Sit back and relax with your feet up. He will arrive, but only you will know when he does. I wish you all the luck.
2007-07-24 23:37:42 · answer #4 · answered by Very Honest 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sweetie, it's your life not your parents. You should follow your heart and wait for the right person to come along. I mean, what's the worse that can happen. What, would they disown you because you want marry the chosen one. No, don't let it happen this way. Take control of your life and love yourself enough to want to find someone of your liking that can love you just as much.
2007-07-24 23:18:18 · answer #5 · answered by Promise 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lucy, listen to your heart, if your parents get mad oh well, this is your life and not theirs, you're 25 yrs old, you're not their little girl anymore, you are an adult. Wait for the right guy who will cherish you for the rest of your life, someone you will love forever. Good luck and I hope your prince charming will come and rescue you.
2007-07-24 23:15:14 · answer #6 · answered by J1 M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marry for love ONLY! Your parents can sh** and fall back in it. They won't be the ones enduring a bad marriage, you'll be stuck & then they'll tell you not to leave the guy for the kids sake. Don't succomb to them
2007-07-24 23:13:15 · answer #7 · answered by mikebnchprss 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
choose the mind the heart can stop u from doing right thing just for the sake of pleasing others
2007-07-24 23:05:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your heart! As difficult as it may be to disappoint your parents, the truth is, you weren't put here on this earth to satisfy their wants. It's your life, be true to what you want!
2007-07-24 23:42:45 · answer #9 · answered by Kerry 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love cannot be find out its happened and i think u should obey ur parents........jise hum pyar karthehe usko nahi hame koun pyar karthahe unse shadi karo....after ur futer is secured
2007-07-24 23:19:47 · answer #10 · answered by james 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋