I recently heard that since finishing school (3yrs ago) some of my former high school class mates have already gotten engaged, married and have had babies (or planning to). Now we are only about 21 or so. I was just wondering on whether people still feel the need to get married to get validation (or some sort of meaning) in their lives? I thought ppl who are in their early twenties are ideally exploring life, meeting different ppl, pursuing their career etc..
Im not judging but was just wondering whether ppl like this neglected to bear this in mind or just needed immmediate validation in their lives.
2007-07-24 22:31:59 · 7 answers · asked by . 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I think that the most important thing is too remember that everyone has their own path to follow, for some it will lead to careers first for others family lives...
Neither is right or wrong, some may change their minds later and decide they made the wrong choice, yet other will be happy forever with their choice...
Your life your path, their lives and their journeys...
2007-07-24 22:40:07 · answer #1 · answered by *Lee*D* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its a hard thing to get.
I have had so many people tell me I ruined my life by getting married young. But with my husband I have had a chance to see and experience that I wouldnt have had if I was still single.
Its seriously just a preference.
I was with my husband for 6 years before we got married. I know lots of people our age would have been on their 3rd or 4th boyfriend/ girlfriend and just experimenting. I just didnt feel like that. My honey was wonderful. We had a great relationship and I didnt feel the need to f*** it up so I can have more sex or see what else is out there. I knew what we had was one in a million. I didnt get married to validate anything.
Sharing your entire rest of your life with someone is not neglecting your life its embracing it. Having someone to witness your life as you experience is all we can ever ask for.
But no matter what people will always have your view that I will not experience life since I am married. I dont see it that way. I get to experience life and the world now that I am married. Different people, different choices, different worlds.
2007-07-25 00:09:18 · answer #2 · answered by Erin B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say you are not judging, but you really are. Somehow you believe that exploring life, meeting different ppl, etc. gives life more meaning than starting a family.
Perhaps your married classmates, by having a family early, will get to be involved in the lives of their grandchildren. I understand that grandchildren can be a great blessing.
2007-07-24 23:20:54 · answer #3 · answered by Matthew T 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some people are content too just marry young and start families. However I agree with you that one should live life and experience being single etc. before getting married. Or else they may always wonder if they missed out on something and it's not fair to the family they've already created to try and go back.
2007-07-24 22:39:35 · answer #4 · answered by marie s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are judging, reread what you wrote and youll see this rather clearly. For some yes they do need this validation, for others this may just be the correct course for thier lives, its obviously not yours. I am sure some of them think you are being stubborn about being unmarried just to feel validated that you explored your life in your 20's.
2007-07-24 22:36:45 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
stop comparing and get a life of your own. build an ambition go for it. life isnt just marriage and babies. depending on the community you are in - marriage is important. if in NY, who cares! so look beyond your nutshell and think further than your friends. being married can be enslavement - depending on type of hubby u have. so watch out. life is more exciting out there......gooooo
2007-07-24 23:02:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Certainly, there are many motives for getting married - many good and many not so.
But none of the successful marriage relationships I know exist because of some notion of "validation."
Besides, first you build the relationship and get to know one another. THEN you discuss marriage.
2007-07-25 00:21:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋