Having baby number 2 - how do you cope?

Question

We are thinking about having another baby, sooner rather than later. Our son is 2 in Oct so we think its a good time to have another. I am concerned about coping with pregnancy, a toddler and work!

I also can't imagine feeling as much love for another child as I do for my son.

I really want to have another one but I worrying about how I will cope with a new born and a toddler! I know the baby years are such a small part.

Answer 1

I had my daughter 4months ago, when my son was 2 and a half. I won't lie, the pregnancy was a bit tough at times, mostly when my son had a chest and ear infection!! But it was SO worth it! As lng as you've got a supportive partner and fanily around you, you can get thru the tough early weeks then once you're into a routine you can realy enjoy both of your children.
My daughter is happiest when she can see her big brother runing around and playing- as long as he's still in the same room as her she';s happy. And he is very protective of his baby sister.
I say.....go for it!!

Answer 2

I have 2 sons! one is 2 and a half and the other is 7 months! All children act differently to one another, i found the easiest thing to do was to get my eldest involved with everything before the baby was born. Tell you child that you are expecting a baby and try and get him involved. Whilst i was pregnant if the baby would kick i would let my son touch my belly and let him feel the baby and explain to him that he was having as brother and it would be someone to play with for him. It is hard at first (i wont lie) as at times you may be feeding the baby and you other child will want something so you have to juggle things but i got my son involved in the feeding and changing of the baby and now he loves being a little helper, it has also helped him with bonding with him. As for the loving part you find sometimes maybe that your toddler will get on your nerves whilst trying to juggle everything but it would never mean that you would love him any less, you will love your baby just the same as your toddler. I wish you all the luck

Answer 3

Never doubt your abilities, if you truly want another child, then go ahead. There are tons of moms who have done it, balanced a career and home, and not only survived but thrived. I am a single Dad, my ex deserted me and left me with 4 disabled toddlers, I had no child raising experience, let alone coping with disabilities......I not only coped, but I had to become self employed in order to provide for us, I NEVER had so much as 5 minutes of outside help. The children not only survived but thrived. I still get compliments on how well mannered, polite, mature and hard working they are. Don't worry about being capable of giving a second as much love as a first, your heart has an abundance in reserve and there is plenty to go around, one look, touch and smell of that new baby and you will wonder why you were ever concerned.

Answer 4

I have a 2 year old who was born 3 months prem and an 9 week old and i must say it's a great age gap as my 2 year old just wants to help me all the time with her sister, there has been no jealously from my older daughter just wonderment , also with Maternity leave being put up to 9 months it means i'm here to look after them both and install a routine for my 2 year old so that she gets some mummy time while her sister sleeps and when she has a nap mummy gets some time to either catch up on housework or just spend some time relaxing , i always thought that it'd be hard to love another one the same but you just do

Answer 5

My number two was born when number one was two and a half. I don't think I had any problems coping with the two of them at that age. Then I had number three when number two was five years old!! This one is trouble !! He is now nearly two. He is really hard work, and even though the other two are at school full time I really do find I have my hands full all the time. I am sure you will cope fine with your second child, and I think it is easier when they are little together. I think if you leave the age gap too long that is when the trouble starts!! Good luck.

Answer 6

I have a 3 year old and a 8 month old, It is very hard work, I stay at home and pretty much do everything in and around the house while my husband works and earns the money, this is how we chose to do it. (he says he couldn't handle it, at least he admits it)

It can get very stressful if you are stuck indoors for a full day, you just need to try make time for both children because they fight for attention and there is only so much you can give out.

Make sure you have a good support team just in case it gets to much, I have my mum down they street so she'll rescue me if they are both playing up.

Loving them both is very easy I thought it would be strange sharing my love equally but soon as the baby is born it just happens like it did with your first so don't worry.

Good Luck!

Answer 7

dont worrie,me and my fiance are considering the same only for our baby boy is 1 next month,she thinks she wont love the next child the same and wont cope with minding a 1year old thru pregnancy,then when baby 2 is born coping and loving that child as much as your first child,but you have to remember luv,that the reason you think you wont love the baby 2 is because you simply dont know because you dont have a second baby,natural reaction of making a family is this,hoping you will love the other kids the same,its practically the same thing all over again,you give birth and your over whelmed with joy & you will remain loving the baby because every time you see he/she you just go "ahhhhhhhhh" that love will carry on right thru for you,and on coping,you will be fine,im sure you know the term "mother knows best" YES well thats you,you will know best but count yourself lucky because your child is just 2 and what they call "the terrible 2's" by the time you conseive & get thru 9mths + of pregnancy your son will be thru his terrible 2's stage and understand and love the new baby more than you could imagine,and at the age of just 3 your son could be a great little helper to you also.
dont worrie you will be fine,hope it all goes well for you,ill keep my fingers crossed!!!!!

Answer 8

face your fears and do it anyway!! If you want to have another child don't create obstacles! I mean, I know you're thinking reality here, but just do it and it will work out fine. When I had my first I swore off anymore because I had a very difficult pregnancy. I'm diabetic so that in itself was a challenge. Also, I had CONSTANT morning sickness that NEVER went away.......2 1/2 yrs. later we tried again and surprisingly the pregnancy was easier (sickness wise) and I still work out of the home. You will have just as much love for your new baby!

I say GO FOR IT!

Answer 9

i felt the same way with my second son.
When the eldest was 4 months old I fell pregnant and thought how i was going to love 2 children!.
They are beautiful boys and I love them so much!.
I am now pregnant 30 weeks with baby #3 and thought how am i going to do it!
I have so much love for them all!
You Will cope fine,babies sleep so much that you will have plenty of time for your son.
i make special time with both my toddlers(they are nearly 3 and 19 months old)so I feel I will have plenty of time when the baby is born.
good luck

Answer 10

It it ROUGH with 2. my son just turned 3 and our daughter is 7 weeks old. He is great with her. But taking care of two is hard work. She has her own schedule, and we have to revolve around that for now, plus my son likes my attention, and he can be a little demanding. Not to mention terriblle toddler years are here and he has fallin into it head first. SO I have to deal with him , take care of her, the house, pay bills, and etc. and it is VERY challenging. However I am sure once she get to be about a year or so old, things will be much much easier.

As far as love, you will feel the same. And you will be a little more protective over the new one. Love can be shared, and it is easy. I love having two kids, and I wouldn't change it for anything, BUT 2 is enough for us. :)