I cheated on my wife. Should I tell her?

Answer 1

Do you feel guilty? Are you feeling like you are a worthless human being, lower than dirt? Is it eating your guts out, tearing you apart? Want her to feel that way?
Do you plan to stop cheating? Are you in a relationship with another woman or was it a one night stand?

I ask these questions because YOU need to deal with it. YOU must to carry the burden of guilt and anguish over what you've done. If you know that it was not something you want to do again, and you want to grow old with the woman you married, then I say this: DO NOT TELL HER. You would only be transfering your burden on to her, and hoping that by relieving yourself of the secret it would make you feel better. You would only be making her feel worse in order to make you feel better.
You need to get right with God. You broke your vow. She didn't. You are the one who needs absolution and you cannot get that from her. Oh, she may forgive you but her life would never be the same. Then again, she may not. In which case, both of you are forever chagned, and probably for the worse.
You made a mistake and you are the one who should pay. In time, and with the grace of God, you may eventually be whole again. But to dump this on her would likely destroy both of your lives. You already mistreated her once. Do you want to destroy her life too?

Answer 2

Before you say anything I would go talk to a marriage counselor alone and get professional guidance. If it is decided that your wife be told it might be suggested that it be done there so both of you have support. Don't walk this path alone if you mean to come clean and never let it happen again. Also if it comes out take full responsibility for it and don't blame her. Just know that cheating is always a choice so let her know that it is not her fault. The trust has been broken and it may take years to get it back and never really be the same. If she wants to work on forgiveness understand that you will have to carry her pain. Her confidence and self esteem will be severly wounded and her heart will be broken. Women are very territorial when it comes to the man that they love. She will feel that she was not good enough that you had to do that and it will make her look at you differently. Some couples get through infidelity while others are destroyed by it. It's a long road your headed down and it won't be easy but if you love her it will be worth everything to make things right. Good Luck and take care.

Answer 3

Are you still cheating? Are you going to continue? These are two questions you need to ask yourself. If it was a moment of weakness and it didn't last, why tell her, it is just going to upset her and then you have opened up a can of worms. I know people are going to say be honest with her and explain you didn't mean to and will never do it again, but from my experience as a woman, partners don't forget too easily, will bring up the past, and even hold grudges. You really have to be honest with yourself and decide if this was a passing phase. You know it is wrong if you plan on staying with your wife, and further more, you could subject her to STD, so it is up to you. Never again, I would not say a word and just be good to each other, talk out what bothers you. You obviously strayed for a reason, so try to work it out.

Answer 4

First off, I think you should consider the reason you cheated on her... are you unhappy in your marriage? Have you lost feelings for your wife that you once had? It's hard to come clean about something like this. On one hand, if you dont tell her and she never finds out, no harm done.. on the other hand, if you do tell her, you need to be honest with her as to why you did it.. and DO NOT let her find out from someone else- that will cause the most damage.... No woman is ever going to totally understand your reasononing for doing this... the sh** will hit the fan, guaranteed. But you really do need to think about why you cheated and if its just a prelude to more cheating. Be honest with yourself and with her (should you decide to tell her). Whatever may happen, best of luck. ;)

Answer 5

Be ready for the repercussions. how long have you been married. How long did you have this affair? too many things to take into account. Are you ready to lose your wife. When you talk to her you better be ready for what ever she has to dish out and be ready for her to put you in the dog house for a very long time and you will have to jump through hoops like crazy. i have been there trust me it was not so much fun. It was down right the most horrible thing I ever went through. And is this affair over? just to give u a little insight to this world you will have to give her very graphic details about the whole afair. I don't know why but every woman who has been cheated on wants to hear it all. then once you do you have this movie playing constantly in your head. I would say don't ever do it agian and repent with all your heart. You will destroy this woman's world as she knows it.

Answer 6

You wouldn't need to ask this question if you had done the right thing by not doing the wrong thing. How would you take it if your wife came to you and said, "Sorry honey, I boinked this guy last week," She can hear it from you or you can take the chance that she will hear it from another source. Either way, don't be mad if she decides to punch you in the face as a result.

Answer 7

No. This is so sad. What ashame!

Do you want to get back with your wife, or are you no longer interested in your marriage?

If you are no longer interested. Divorce her.

If you would like to make amends and give your marriage another chance, don't tell her. She may forgive, but NEVER forget.

Please don't tell her, unless your goal is to hurt her. Do you??

Answer 8

I'm not trying to judge you but man that's really messed up, you need to be honest with her and tell her. She deserves and has the right to know about this, the longer you take the more you're going to hurt her. Good luck!

Answer 9

No, telling her to clear your conscience to make you feel better is selfish. If you do tell her, are you prepared for the relationship to end? For her to never trust you again? For her to want to get even? For her to think about it every time you have sex? For her to have to face her girlfriends and tell them what a jerk you are? If you feel bad about it, don't do it again and be the best husband from now on.

Answer 10

Of course!! That's the only way you could possibly be forgiven, right? And it's definitely better for you to tell her yourself than her finding out on her own.