Found out my ex wife was having an affair for months prior to asking for a divorce.I ignored my gut instincts and have found out she has moved in with this guy.I am so angry with myself and her.I was moving forward and now this just draged me back to all this hurt and anger. My ex should get an academy award for acting. How can i release this rage i have for her after six months of manipulation .i gave her everything she asked for,but if i had known the truth i would have been much less agreeable
2007-07-24 15:35:53 · 18 answers · asked by Rodger M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I sould run laps and get your ducks in a row for the final divorce
2007-07-24 15:55:41 · answer #1 · answered by Experto Credo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the thing. No matter what anyone says or what advice they give you, you are still going to feel hurt and betrayed. It's just human nature. There's nothing you can do about it now. You say that you gave her everything she asked for in the divorce. Look at it this way: you are the better person, and she will get hers in the end some way or some how. Sometimes you just have to do the right thing knowing that you may get screwed over in the end, just because it makes you the better person and you will never have any guilty regrets. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It sucks, it hurts, but time heals everything (yeah, cliche, I know) and you will be rewarded in the end. Good luck and best wishes.
2007-07-24 23:45:43 · answer #2 · answered by kendi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the laws of your state you could drag her back into court if she had to state that she was telling the truth.
That would give you some satisfaction, for a short time. I know. I set her up to lie in court and then nailed her lies for all to see. But a few weeks later I was back to feeling p*ss*d off at her.
Best bet is to go out with co-workers and friends to have some fun. This way if you do run into her she will see you having fun. Pretty soon you'll have some new friends some old friends and you won't miss her.
2007-07-25 00:34:32 · answer #3 · answered by ilikeemwild2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweet Pea sometimes we get hurt in life mostly by the one we love so dearly. Please don't grow weary in doing good. I understand you have anger and frustration but you have got to pick your self up and say I am moving on. The best way to get rid of this pain to let your ex-wife know you forgive her. She is not going to know what to do. See when you do things like this it releases you from all that pain and hurt and you can get on with your life. If you don't do this then you will bring that baggage into a relationship GOD might bless you to have in the future. Forgiveness is the best gift you can give anybody. It might sound foolish now but I tell you in about 3 months from now it will be well worth it. I promise you that. Take it easy!
2007-07-24 23:12:02 · answer #4 · answered by b n real 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear about this....You are entitled to feeling rage and all sorts of ill-feelings! She was mean and you feel used...Who can blame you? You're only human.
However....At the risk of sounding like a Chinese fortune cookie- you need to concentrate on yourself and on healing your heart and mind now. You have to work on letting go of all these negative emotions because if you don't, in the long run you will only hurt yourself. She will go on with her life, and you will waste yours by feeling anger.....Not a good choice.
Anger (and other powerful feelings like guilt, remorse, rage, fury and desire for vengeance) are useful in times of crisis; but eventually they must be released. Otherwise, you'll be poisoned from within...and you'll turn into a cynical and bitter man. You won't be happy and you won't be fun to be around, either. So try to exercise, keep yourself busy, try to do the things you enjoy and do things you never had time to do before- like travelling or scuba diving. Give yourself time to digest what happened and be patient with yourself.
Try to go to therapy if you think it might help you sort out your feelings....and ask God to heal you and to erase all the bitterness away. He is the BEST doctor around.
Good luck...TAKE CARE.
2007-07-24 22:50:27 · answer #5 · answered by Nena S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is definitely a creep for playing you like this but don't let it bring you down. Don't waste your energy in anger over her, she isn't worth it.
Go to the gym or hang out with friends to get your mind off of the situation and her. Time does heal your heart so give it time. And don't be in a hurry to rush into another relationship. Give yourself time to heal and then when you least expect it you will find the right person for you.
Best of luck.
2007-07-24 23:09:24 · answer #6 · answered by Colleen G 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LET IT GO!
Move on with your life, keep busy doing things that you enjoy with other people. Take time to make positive changes that you have always wanted to make. Feel good about you and your life and I can guarantee the cheater will no longer matter.
It happened, you can't control her behavior and you can't go back and change things. All you can do is move forward and build a life with better quality people in it.
2007-07-24 22:43:45 · answer #7 · answered by Melanie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow I'm sorry for the pain. its so hard to understand the deception this world is starting to have, more and more everyday. she is a sick person. mentally, its not u that didn't catch it, its her that's manipulative. devilish women that doesn't have caring thoughts for any other than her self. it happens once it'll happen again. aren't u glad Ur not that man again next time. sometimes the best thing in life is to smile the biggest smile and act like nothing bothers u and u never cared for her, that ll eat her lunch. also, my attorney is my best friend, check around rates a competable and life's to short hang her ***. satisfaction guaranteed.
2007-07-24 22:44:49 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
1stly, i'm sorry you had to go through that...and now your kind of reliving it so to speak. All i can say to you is this...the anger you feel does not serve you. So whats the point in feeling it.....answer....none.....try to let it go...and i know thats not easy....i went through a similar experience...i wasn't married though. I was in the relationship for 5yrs....he swore blind he was faithful....only found out after the split that he lied. So i just released the anger to the universes and moved on........fill you time with friends and family and try to only think of happy things...when she pops in2 ur head...put her out immediately and think of something that makes you smile...good luck
2007-07-24 22:48:30 · answer #9 · answered by sunny 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your not a fool, how could u have known the truth about it? just move on be glad u are rid of her, and don't have to live a miserable life. yes your hurt, but its not about anything u did, u have nothing to feel like a fool for. she took advantage of u, betrayed u, but don't worry people really don't get away with it when they do ugly things to others and hurt them. because theres a god and he sees whats in peoples hearts, bad will come to her soon enough.
2007-07-24 22:43:34 · answer #10 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hon, I am so sorry. But now you can actually begin living for you, and embrace the opportunity to live the rest of your life free of someone who obviously had no respect for your relationship. I had a lot of success channeling anger into physical activity like running, or kickboxing.
You can actually start living for you now
2007-07-24 22:41:47 · answer #11 · answered by vaughnc5920 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋