I know this is horrible but I don't know how to get better. One of my friends was engaged, she bragged all the time, then her fiance left her for another woman & married that other woman. A friend of mine was laid off, got a nice severance & yet I'm secretly hoping she has trouble finding another job!
I could go on & on. I am being honest here & would really like some help with this. I know it's wrong to feel this way. My life is just not so great so I think that's why I like to see others going badly too. No man, boring job, live with parents who are elderly.
I wish I could want good things to happen to others & not get jealous but there is little things inside me that enjoys seeing others go through hard times too. Please help!
2007-07-24 14:52:36 · 8 answers · asked by asldfkjdfj 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
What you are feeling is called "schadenfreude" (pronounced SHAH-den-FROYD). It's a German word that means "pleasure from another's misfortune." It is jealous, petty, sinful, and is therefore completely normal. Everyone has felt this before, and anyone who says they haven't is totally full of ****.
Try not to worry about others. Worry about you, if you must worry at all. Be defined by what you are for, not what you're against. . . .
2007-07-24 15:06:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
You've heard the old adage, "misery loves company". That's certainly the case with you. It's not abnormal and it's not terrible. And few people would admit to it, so I admire you for that honesty. You are not happy with your life, so you resent the fact that others are happy, and rejoice when they are not. I don't know how you'd get over that, unless you make a real effort to be happy for your friends and not get jealous of them. Your day will come, but sometimes you have to make the first moves to make positive things happen. Once you find your place in life, you will no longer harbor resentment at the success of others, or rejoice at another person's miseries.
Go out and find a decent man, get a job you enjoy, and cherish your elderly parents while they are still here. You'll miss them terribly when they're gone, even if you don't appreciate them now. Good luck!
2007-07-24 15:06:03 · answer #2 · answered by gldjns 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well how bout this.. if you were to die in an accident tomorrow.. how much time would you have wasted on that subject in the precious moments of your life doing those things.. would you be able to say.. I had a good life.. just look how much time i am wasting even answering this on here.. when I could be getting laid by some hot dude i havent seen in years.. bye now
2007-07-24 15:12:37 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if there's an actual psychological term for this, but it's a very common human foible. I'm guilty of this myself, so you're not alone.
I usually try to get my mind on myself and try to get really grateful for what I have. Sometimes it's stupid things like my laptop, or running water...because there's people in the world...well, you know the rest.
There's a great peom that I really love, that sort of deals with this, and really help me. It's kind of long, but I'm pasting it here for you:
THE DESIDERATA
Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love, for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is perennial as the grass.
Take kindly to the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann c.1920
2007-07-24 15:02:00 · answer #4 · answered by . 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is called "spite". Don't be that way. Work very hard to rise above that emotion. We all feel it. But, there is no honor in it and no good will ever come out of it for your peace of mind or health. Just be aware of the emotion and practice taking the higher road whenever you experience it. Don't beat yourself up for feeling it, though. Just grow stronger with each experience.
2007-07-24 15:43:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
its call jealous. its not the fact you want them to have a worse life its just that you wish you could always be at the top of their lives and have something to brag about to and make you feel like ur life is great too. you just need to realize sometimes its not all about you. its about others too
2007-07-24 15:05:55 · answer #6 · answered by Sanita 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like Harry knows his stuff, I'd take his advise.
2007-07-24 15:29:53 · answer #7 · answered by Animalfriend 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its obvious you dont really admire her as your friend but i know what you mean i feel the same toward some of my other lesser friends.
2007-07-24 14:56:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋