I love to hang out with other couples. My husband gets irritated by most of my friends. Granted, I only have 4 friends and he only likes 2 of them. I love to entertain at the house and he always gave me a hard time until finally I just gave up and now we don't even have cocktail parties anymore. I know he has issues with people being in our house and that is something he has to work on so I've tried so hard to be understanding.
He says it's selfish of me to make him hang out with people he doesn't like, that it is fake. I want to share my life with my friends and the man I love....but I have to keep the 2 worlds apart and it makes me very sad. I feel very alienated from everyone because of him. He NEVER stops me from seeing my friends, but I would love to hang out together sometimes...
Someone suggested that he is being very selfish and I'm wondering if I am being fair to him....and to myself.???? Do I assert my position on this issue or let it go??
2007-07-24 14:15:04 · 12 answers · asked by bonbon0974 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is part of that whole talking and communicating issue. Your husband doesn't have to like all your friends just as you don't have to like all of his but you decide together who you want to entertain together. Those friends he doesn't feel comfortable with you can see on your own for lunch or whatever. The two of you need to start making mutual friends through your work or other networks. If you continue to force people on him that he does not like, you are going to continue to feel alienated from everyone. Decide together who gets to come over for parties and start making some new friends.
2007-07-24 14:30:09 · answer #1 · answered by dawnb 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I have a few "couples" friends. We go out to dinner together or maybe have dinner and drinks at someone's house. However, my husband and I are best friends and sometimes we would rather stay at home together than go out with our friends. No, I don't think he's selfish. Some people just don't like to socialize. I used to be that way. But my husband encourages me to have friends and go out, even when I don't want to.
2007-07-24 21:23:56 · answer #2 · answered by sunny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would let him know how you feel. I mean I guess I can see both sides. BUT if it's important to you then I think he should suck it up and let you have a party here and there.
It's called compromise. I think that it sounds like he is being a little selfish because it sounds like you have given in to what he likes/dislikes. He should do what you want s/times too regardless of whether or not he likes it.
2007-07-24 21:19:56 · answer #3 · answered by Lindsay G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pick one day a month to have a dinner at your house. If he doesn't want to be there, he will know in plenty of time to make other plans for that day.
That way, you can enjoy your friends at YOUR house and he can have the other 29 days a month to do as he pleases.
2007-07-24 21:20:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if it's important to you then you need to assert yourself. otherwise you will just resent him for it down the track.
you aren't being selfish at all. these are your friends and you should be able to have dinner parties with your friends in your home without your husband calling you selfish for it.
2007-07-24 21:22:07 · answer #5 · answered by emmybob3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is. But I believe he wants to be with you alone. Don't reaaly know. He may had a thing for someone in your group. If he stops you from hanging out with your friend. Than he so insecure and does not trust you no more.
2007-07-24 21:20:55 · answer #6 · answered by e76jc 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
heck! i dont even like hanging out w my sis when im w my bf! but after reading ur story, ur friends have a pt. i understand that ur husband may not like ur friends, but he could put more effort into making u happy. friendly get-toghethers are great but if it makes ur husband uncomfortable, compromise. say u used to have get togethers twice a month, how bout reducing it to once a month and holidays?? run it by him and see if he's willing to keep u happy.
2007-07-24 21:21:58 · answer #7 · answered by janie rey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
assert your position........
but first try to find out what it is that he doesn't like about your friends. he may have an explanation that is revealed through having a discussion about his likes and dislikes and the history of that. explore this with him........in a gentle way.
2007-07-24 21:27:30 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl it is not selfish because it is good 2 meet other people and if u and u and your husband can have fun experience stuff with other people instead of by yourself and u can be like girl u remember that time blah blah blah...
2007-07-24 21:24:42 · answer #9 · answered by Fabulous Chick 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is selfish and you are giving in.. Put your foot down and demand your rights as a partner in your marriage
2007-07-24 21:18:34 · answer #10 · answered by AdultMale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋