Addiction to foundation and lip gloss
Self abuse through high heels and stomach strinking diets
Bitchy jokes whispered through conditioned hair.
I will give it all to my daughter
My sisters will never see a day when we can all live together as an equal sex today
If the world could start again I would make it so men could not write us down as the reason for evil and pain
2007-07-24 12:44:06 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Poetry
The title is great, in fact, inspiring...even your first line has promise...second line possibilities, maybe even a connection to the third line...but then you lose it. Your fourth and fifth stanzas (lines?) are disjointed and could be the subject of their own poems...but don't work here.
I'd suggest you keep the title and lines 1 through 3...work their concept into a full poem of about 12 to 16 lines or so.
Like I said, your title deserves better and shows you have an insightful ear...follow that thread and see where it goes.
2007-07-24 16:04:16 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't subscribe to your generalizing that men want you to be a certain way. I certainly don't favor much use of cosmetics, high heels, and crash diets, nor do I blame women for starting evil.
Men can be manly now and not have to be aggressive, but now we find women adopting the same attitude as the old guard of business people, getting ulcers and heart attacks.
I see no point in having no gender, which seems to be the norm nowadays. Political correctness will put an end to communication between the sexes.
2007-07-24 21:04:14 · answer #2 · answered by henry d 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Cryptic
2007-07-24 20:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by enatatt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's OK a lil confusing.
2007-07-24 20:11:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i like it, it's different and no what i expected from a poem, and i think it's kind of intense and.......strong
2007-07-24 19:51:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋