I am worried about my friend she has been seeing a divorced man who cheated on his wife NOT with her in fact she didnt meet him until after he was divorced..Anyways she has been seeing him for about 6 months and she wants to marry him but i told her that a bad idea cause he has a cheating past...So my question is would any of you ladies marry a man who cheated on his first wife i know i wouldnt cause it will probably happen again..So what advice should i give her i dont want to see her get possibly hurt. She has been my best friend for 20 yrs.
2007-07-24 12:27:17 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Reclused didnt you read what i wrote..She was NOT the one he was cheating with when he was married..I already said she didnt meet him until after he was divorced..I wish people would read what others write.
2007-07-24 12:39:58 · update #1
Stay out of it, she will only end up hating you. Just be there when the guy cheats on her and she needs a shoulder to cry on. Then, do not say "I told you so," or "I knew this would happen."
2007-07-24 12:33:28 · answer #1 · answered by Suzy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A guy that cheated before will usually cheat again. Some guys truly know they screwed up and blew a good relationship enough to not ever repeat the cheating. At most I'd tell her that as her friend you're concerned and ask her how she is so confident that he won't repeat his behavior. Let her know you like him (if you do) and you just don't want to see her get hurt. Then I would drop it and just be there for her like always. Some guys that are cheaters will actually hit on you, the friend, when their girlfriend isn't around and you have every right to tell her if this happens. If that doesn't open her eyes then nothing will other than getting her heart broken.
2007-07-24 19:54:20 · answer #2 · answered by milk dudz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
cheating is never the answer when you are supposed to be with someone.
But, I guess you'd have to know why he cheated. Did she not want from him nor give attention/affection toward him? Not an excuse, but you might feel different if you walked in his shoes. Maybe again he is just a cheater.
My ex stated she didn't want or need affection, attention or s*x b/c she had the kids. No amount of begging for counseling or dates changed her mind.
At the time I was in pretty good shape (5'10" 160#) and during the 4 yrs of no affection crap I had the chance to cheat more than 6 times. But I always thought I wouold not like it if she cheated on me.
2007-07-25 01:06:03 · answer #3 · answered by ilikeemwild2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is where love becomes blind. Even if she doesnt show it she knows what happened but she sees this guy differently than you do and is ready to give him another chance. Theres nothing you can say that will chang her mind no matter how right you probably are,but unfortunately, some people have to learn the hard way and this is probably one of those times. Its hard for you since shes not listening to you but really theres nothing you can say except wish her lots of luck and then be thre when the inevitable happens as she will need a real good friend like you.
2007-07-24 19:48:41 · answer #4 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The answer is no. From experience, a cheating man is not good. Especially with her just seeing him for 6 months. How long has he been divorced. First she needs to know if he's finished with his ex. Just because they're divorced, doesn't mean he doesn't have unresolved feelings. Are there any children. There's a lot of baggage in relationships where someone has been divorced.
2007-07-24 19:39:11 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
So many reasons to cheat. The thing here is that it isn't what we would do, but what your friend would do. She's inlove with him and she knows his past. It's her call and maybe, there is that possibility, that this is a better relationship between him and her. Maybe he was going through stuff at the time he cheated and that's over. You gotta stay out of it. If she gets hurt, it's her call. It's her right to make the choice and deal with the consequences. It's your job to help her celebrate her life or hold her hand in sympathy.
2007-07-24 19:36:55 · answer #6 · answered by Dorthy_Gail 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with most of the answers you got. Sounds like he's got issues to deal with, and he thinks cheating is OK since he's done it already.
If your friend continues to see him as marriage material, she may find out -sooner than later- that usually cheaters do not change. Sorry....Try to be a good friend and be honest about your concerns; but chances are she'll go ahead and marry this guy anyway.
2007-07-24 20:45:01 · answer #7 · answered by Nena S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Best thing for you to do, if you want to keep her as a best friend. Say "NOTHING". If you put him down and let it be known how you feel about him. when she marries him, and she will marry him. You will be out of her life. She will also tell him what you think about him. You won't be a favorite of his either. She is making a mistake, but you should keep out of it.
2007-07-24 19:33:50 · answer #8 · answered by R.Longo L 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't marry a man that cheated but that's me.
It's really none of your business. You need to be supportive of your friend. But you also need to be supportive when her heart gets crushed.
Unless she asks for your advice you just need to be there for her. If she feels she is happy, let her be happy. If she asks for advice, tell her "Don't do it."
2007-07-24 19:37:14 · answer #9 · answered by Like being a DINK 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
man, F*** everyone who says s*** like once a cheater always a cheater. I cheated on the most wonderful woman this side of the universe and lost her. I'm now dating a great woman again, but I will NEVER, EVER cheat on her or anybody I'm in a relationship with ever again. Losing my love hurt like hell and I make sure it won't happen again.
2007-07-24 19:49:50 · answer #10 · answered by Aggin Tad 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋