Divorce question?

Question

My husband is trying to get me to take his car that he owns in exchange for waiving spousal support (he's in the military). He has the majority of the furniture that was in my apartment and he still wants me to waive support. The car he is offering isn't worth that much. He wants me to take the car if I'll agree to only take half of what he needs to pay me in spousal support. ??? I'm not sure at this point what I should do. He knows that if he keeps paying me that he'll be forced to move back into the barracks, and he's already stated he's too good to live there. Any suggestions?

There are no children involved, I didn't cheat, he didn't cheat, he just stated he wasn't happy when he came home from work one day and decided he didn't want to be married anymore. Then he called me the next day to ask if I wanted to see a movie. ???

YES, I do have a job. I didn't know about spousal support until his commander brought it to my attention. It wasn't something I was going after, they told me about it.

Okay, for all you who think I don't have a job....I HAVE A JOB. I've grown up around the military, so I'm not one of "those" women who go after the military $$. Palease!

Answer 1

Get a good attorney and put the screws to him.

Answer 2

I don't know if a military divorce is any different than a civilian divorce, but assuming that they are the same, this has been my experience:

1. Get your own attorney. Even if it is a "civil" divorce, meaning that you agree on everything, you will still get screwed if you use his attorney. (I was young and stupid when I divorced and didn't know any better)

2. Do not under any circumstances agree to this deal that he has offered. So what if he is "too good" to live in the barracks, HE is the one that agreed to the living conditions when he signed the dotted line.

3. Do not waive support and get a lump sum payment. What happened in my divorce is that my ex was supposed to pay me half of his 401K. He refused to pay me the last payment until I gave him back the antique set of china that we bought at a garage sale that belonged to a family friend. Let me just say that the china is beautiful in my china cabinet.

4. Attorneys are expensive, but it's the divorce that is more costly and will have a lasting effect on you and those you love forever. If there is any way that you two can work out your problems then that is what you need to do. Remember you made a vow to love this man though better or worse, richer or poorer...

Good luck.

Answer 3

We know the military people get paid so much. (snort) How about you split the material items in half and you go get a job and support your self? Unless you have kids, why do you need spousal support? The marriage didn't work. Cut your ties and move on.

ok, you've added more detail. I will also add to my comment. (lol) He wants to pay you 1/2 the alimony which means you are getting some money. To pay you the full amount means he doesn't make enough money to have a place of his own. Is that fair? It's not like he can go out and get another job right now.
You need to ask your self what the real issue is. Are you out for vegence cause he decided he didn't want to be married? Do you still care about him? I understand that you didn't go looking for this and that your mind is a bit cluttered right now.
Go find a quiet place and really think about what you need to go forward. Do what you need to do.

Answer 4

I don't know if a military divorce is any different than a civilian divorce, but if you have been married for so long with your husband then you deserve the spousal support. just because he's in the military doesn't mean anything. it sounds like he's being selfish and trying to get over on you. don't let him screw you out of what you deserve. get a lawyer who's not your husband's lawyer. so he has to live in the barracks so what he's not to good to live there. he's just thinking about his self and what he can get away with no matter what don't take the car it's not worth it. let the judge decide who should get what.

Answer 5

First,what do you really care if this guy is living in the barracks or wherever? hes not "so good" that hes divorcing you and wants you to feel sorry for him? Yea right dude and then he wants to give you a used car in return for halfing the spousal support. This guy is good or at least he thinks he is. Go for the total spousal support legally allowed and drive around in a new car and let him pay you half the appraised value of your furniture if he wants it so bad. You have a chance here to come out of this in real good shape so dont listen to him. Go for everything youre legally entitled and let him worry about himself and his living quarters and then he can see just how good he really is. Good luck

Answer 6

If he owes you the spousal support...then obvioulsy, you deserve it. Don't allow him to bargain with you over this. A judge ordered spousal support for you and you need to make sure he pays it.

Don't let him buy you off with a vehicle...you are worth more than that! Stand your ground and make him follow the divorce order. It's not your fault he will have to move back into the barracks....he should have thought about that!

Answer 7

If vengance is your thing then you will have to follow your own mind, however, if it is enevitable that your divorce cannot be reconciled then why not accept his offer and cut your losses and find life. Wouldn't that mean more than the few dollars that you would get. R you like all the other women that only see support and division when they marry. That just makes sense to put it behind you and go forward instead of one or the other or both going in the circle that our government so wants us to as they make out with the dollars and keep people in the system as long as possible and suck them dry while they are there. Do you really want to be part of that? If so the choice is easy but if you have principals, morals and any kind of personality eliminate the hate and crap that the system depends on to become the largest industry in the world preying on people and that is the 24 billion dollar industry of the courts. They depend on the emotion and bad decisions of vengence and hatred between people to make them richer. You decide but the decision is pretty easy.

Answer 8

LOL going after the military $$ anyone who marries into the military knows there is no big $$ in it. Anyway. I am only thinking that in the state you live in alimony is still awarded. I say pass on the vehicle and take the alimony even if you don't need it. Put it away as a "nest egg" and get your own car rather than "settling" for his. He is only trying to "buy you off" don't let him. If the state says you deserve alimony then go with it.

And to those who think there's money in the military...I worked all during my marriage and my ex was military...I ALWAYS made more than he did. (money in the military ROFLMFFUAO!)

Answer 9

If you have a job and are self supporting then why do you even need spousal support? If you income is more than his, and with him being in the military it probably is, you may be the one that has to pay support!

Answer 10

Do you want to be bought off with a car?
Spousal support isn't that easy to get out of (on his part) unless you tell the court you don't want it.
Go with your gut and do what you think is right and don't worry about him going back to the barracks, is sounds like he is playing on your emotions.

Answer 11

It doesn't seem to be a very good deal for you but, why do you need spousal support? It doesn't sound like you have any children, do you have children? My other question is; Don't you have a job and if not can't you get a job? Your soon to be ex-husband sounds selfish and so do you.
My advise is get a job and both of you seek good legal advise from a qualified attorney.