A married man asked me to have his baby. I would like a man's perspective.?

Question

this man an i have been dating for over a year. he was planning on getting married when we met. we were nothing but friend for a very long time. no physical anything involved. two weeks before got married, things changed and our relationship went to another level physically. fast forward a few months and i realize he's starting to love me. about 3 or 4 months later he finally admits it but i don't reciprocate. a month or 2 after that he backs me into a corner and i answer. i tell him i feel the same way but i know this cannot be this way. recently he told me on more than one occassion that he wanted to have a baby with me. he actually said he could not see me having a child with anyone else. i have no intention of doing this but would like to know what changed; we always talked about how we could not bring a life in this world because he is married. so what changed his mind? i haven't changed mine. also, women, please don't ask me how i feel if my husband did this to me because he did

here's some additional details based off the answers i've gotten. we've been together for over a year; its more than a booty call. he makes an effort for us to hang out out everyday and there's not always sex involved. we just like being around each other. i by NO MEANS intend to let this happen; i'm just questioning the request. i was looking for a man's perspective as to why a married man would ask this of a woman he has no tie or real commitment to. i'm silly enough to think that his tie is to his wife and his family; not to me. at first he told me he didn't want more children. now he does?????doesn't make sense. and if he did, why not have them with his wife? that's why i'm asking more about the real motive behind his question and not what was asked.

I really was looking for answers from men but i'm not getting very many. i got the answer to my question from him. he's divorcing his wife. thanks for the responses.

Answer 1

I can see that it is deemed useless to answer your query since you have provided an answer to your question. I should say the the die is cast. Good luck.

Answer 2

He wants you to always be permanently tied to his life. That is, no matter what happens, no matter how ugly things may get (he's married to someone else - things WILL get ugly at some point), you won't have a choice but to be tied to him. Wow! Such a deal!
By the way, you'll find out just what a booty call is once you tell him hell will freeze over before he gets any more free (no strings) booty from you - honey, that guy will hang on, unbelieving, for the longest time, unable to believe that you have cut him off. Then he'll be an acquaintance who gets busy with his next booty call. You'll have to work to keep a friendship going with him since the new booty call will take up most of his time outside his marriage. What an assh*** he is - and you know it.
Oh yes, one more small detail - you will be the saintly single mom and you better, while you're servicing this guy, have a good handle on being the sole provider and stability for this new child that he will hide from everyone else.

Answer 3

FIRST OF ALL I AM NOT A MAN. I WANT YOU TO KNOW I FIND YOU VERY DISGUSTING, THERE IS NO EXCUSE YOU COULD EVER GIVE THAT WOULD MAKE THIS OK. HIS WIFE AND KIDS DESERVE BETTER THAN THIS. WHY HAVE YOU SETTLED FOR BEING JUST HIS PIECE OF A-- DONT THINK ITS ANYTHING MORE BECAUSE THERE IS NO HONESTY AND TRUTH IN IT HIS WIFE THINKS HER HUSBAND IS LOYAL AND YOU AND HE KNOWS HE ISN'T. IF HE LOVED YOU SO MUCH WHY DON'T YOU HAVE HIS LAST NAME LIE TO YOURSELF ALL YOU WANT. THE 2 OF YOU ARE SETTING UP A SITUATION THAT WILL DESTROY HIS KIDS DOES HE EVEN LOVE THEM? I DON'T THINK SO. WHEN YOU GET CAUGHT AND I HOPE ITS VERY SOON YOU WILL FIND OUT HOW MUCH PAIN YOU WILL PUT THEM THROUGH AND GOD WILL PAY YOU BACK BOTH OF YOU. BY THE WAY ANY CHILD BORN OUT OF WED LOCK IS CALLED A BASTARD. HE WANTS YOU TO HAVE HIS CHILD BECAUSE THE FANTASY IN HIS HEAD IS IF YOU GET PREGNANT THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A CONNECTION IF YOU CUT THINGS OFF. YOU SHOULD BE THE MATURE PERSON AND END THIS MADNESS BEFORE YOU FIND YOURSELF PREGNANT. IF YOU WENT THROUGH THIS YOURSELF WHY WOULD YOU PUT ANY OTHER WOMAN THROUGH THIS PAIN. YOU HAVE NO MORALS OR STANDARDS.

Answer 4

Well, first watch to see if he get's divorced, for real, or if its a ploy to get you to relent. Second, the whole situation sounds weird. Also it maybe the simple thing as to tie you to him through a baby so he can keep coming around and Hmmm
if you understand. What I hope you understand is that if he did this to his wife....you must know he'll do it again when he tires of you. Think hard about this and follow your gut instincts

Answer 5

Sounds like he is having his cake and eating it too. Your relationship is based on lies and probably always will be. What kind of conviction will he have later when it's just you two not to find someone else. I understand that your affair isn't like every other affair, right, it's different because you are involved in it. It will be like saying, " we robbed a bank together but I trust him with all of our assets". If he isn't commited to his wife, he won't ever be 100% committed to you. You will always find yourself questioning if you are the only one. Is he still living with her? Then he is cheating on you now. If you told the teacher you were going to cheat and then cheated are you now not a cheater? The baby doesn't deserve to be conceived in this fashion. How would you like to be someones bastard illegitamate child? Good Luck in your decision making, sound like you'll need it based on your history.

Answer 6

Girl do not have a baby w/ him. If he felt that way about you he should have called his wedding off. Did you ask him if his wife can have children, that maybe the deal, men are selfish and don't care how they get what they want. You shouldn't have anything to do w/ him romantically until he divorces his wife. Other than that, no baby for him, no love, and no nookie

Answer 7

Why have a child with a man who has not really given you his heart. He has kept you on the side, second to his wife and kids for a year now. He keeps your life on hold. maybe he is saying this now to keep you on the line.

Do you really want to have a child with this man? A child he will not share with his family? One he will not be home to be with regularly, but only when he has time away from his 'other' family?

Hon, respect yourself more than this. Have you been wavering, so he needs some words to keep you hanging on? He already knows you have said you will not do this, so it is risk free for him. He wants you to keep true to him, while he goes home to his wife and sleeps in bed with her. Don't believe he is being 'true' to you and staying in his marriage. He cheated on his wife while they where newlyweds!

Many a married man will enjoy living a double life. He is the cakeman, enjoying his double life.

So, do you want to continue your life this way? You deserve so much more than this.

Answer 8

He's selfish that's why he changed his mind...did he really think it though taking you to all your appointment meeting your family and becoming a part of your family? How can he possible raise this child with you if he still leave with his wife at their home? So do you think he's actually though this though, because from the sounds of it I DON"T! Sweetheart you could do better, be with a man that want you and only you..be with someone who considers you his # one and the ONLY one!

Answer 9

1. If he's screwing around with you on his wife, he'll do the exact same thing to you when you're married (or dating). What's to stop him?

2. Do you really want to raise a child alone with a guy who is so unstable that he can't be faithful to someone that he vowed to spend his entire life with? I'd be really scared if I were you.

3. Find someone who is single and treats you like you deserve to be treated....not like some concubine from biblical times.

Answer 10

That this man is carrying on an extramarital affair shows that he is without scruples. He is willing to break his commitment and responsibility to his wife in order to pursue his own pleasures.

Do not commit to him. He has committed the ultimate betrayal of one partner's trust already, and he might very well do the same to you. That you are perhaps in love with him does not mean that you can trust him.

Answer 11

He just wants a "booty call"....someone other than his wife, to have sex with. He has no morals, no scruples, and no sense. Leave this guy alone, or you'll be another single Mom, raising a child by yourself!