Ok I'm in a relationship with a really great person. We've been dating for a while but things seem so much different. It's like our relationship has turned into a friendship and we've become complacent in our relationship. We don't do fun things anymore and if I wanted to leave for a few days to go and see my friends she'll freak out. DON'T get me wrong she is a good person but I feel controlled at times.
She depends a lot on me and at times it wears on me. I've notice I've become short tempered with her (not in a violent way). I've also noticed we are becoming Polar oppisites.
What would you do? Walk away from a long relationship if so then what?
Need your honest opinions please.
2007-07-24 11:48:58 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
ALSO>>>>> OUR love life... oh wait... we don't have one as it seems.
2007-07-24 11:51:59 · update #1
AND I think this our relationship lead me to the computer and P&S... so I can have some kind of social conversations.
2007-07-24 11:54:14 · update #2
dan0207....
Your relationship is now over!!!
People have to understand that we all grow out of relationships over time... It seems like you are the fun type who is active, but she wants to stay at home...She realizes that she is losing you, so she is trying to control you...This is wrong!!....She depends on you, but in actuality, she is using this dependence to control where you go and who you hang out with...You are too young of a great guy to be in this situation...There are plenty of fish in the sea, and you need to throw her back in the Ocean!!!....Remember that she keeps going into your e-mails???...This proves my point that she is trying to control you...If you don't leave her soon, she may try to set you up by getting pregnant, or arguing with you such that it becomes a domestic violence filing by her...Feel free to e-mail me anytime...
........GET OUT NOW!!!....Before It's too late!!!...........
2007-07-24 16:38:10 · answer #1 · answered by Biotech Boy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I was in a relationship like that but it was for about six years. Into the third year, we'd just become these..friends..and as you say, we'd become complacent. He would always want to stay home because I'd get bored doing the same things every night, and he'd even get resentful if I wanted a Girl's Night Out. This is a really tricky one. I don't want to steer you in the wrong direction. The first warning flag: Feeling Controlled. That should NEVER be allowed in a relationship. It's almost like emotional abuse. I get the feeling it sort of sounds as if she doesn't want the passion, but she is depending on you way too much (for what, I don't know) You didn't specify just how long you've been with her, but ask yourself this- would you miss her if you walked away or feel guilty? Don't stay if she is trying to make you feel guilty for wanting to have fun. I just got out of an emotionally abusive relationship last September (long story) and I've never been happier. All I said was, "see ya" and moved away. Think about this. If you hadn't been lovers, would you still consider her as a real friend? I wish you well.
2007-07-24 19:00:41 · answer #2 · answered by PURR GIRL TORI 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do you have life goals?
It does not sound like you have life goals. So how are you supposed to get what you want if you have not defined what you want? Then you have to take an honest look at where this relationship fits into your life plan. Talk with your parents, friends, and your girlfriend about these goals you want. The more you think, talk, and share, the clearier your answer will become to you.
Passion in relationships "Ebb & Flow." The intamacy you've created grows as the time goes on. The "Polar Opposite" is healthy providing BOTH of you can enjoy time away and time together.
2007-07-24 18:59:24 · answer #3 · answered by Giggly Giraffe 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My marriage was just like that, only (I 'm embarrassed to admit) I was the one being immature, clinging on, and freaking out about time he spent away from me. Our marriage went from bad to worse. We drifted completely apart, had a non-existent love life. All my fears and distrust backfired, and I ended up alone anyways. Looking back, I wish I had handled things so much differently. People have to be able to trust each other, and be apart from each other sometimes. They need to have other friendships.
Your part is to make her feel loved and spend time with her. But tell her you need to sometimes have a little space, and spend time with just the guys or whatever, but that she can trust you. And then prove it. If she can't accept that, I just see it getting worse over time.
My husband and I are divorced now. We are friendly towards one another now, but have both learned lessons on what to do different next time. And what you're experiencing was one of the lessons.
2007-07-24 19:26:14 · answer #4 · answered by hodgiegirl2000 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It seems to me..that you two were never truely IN LOVE..cuz the sparks gone away..believe me..this is tough to accept but you 2 need to move on and take a break from each other and try with other people after a while..it will be hard at 1st..cuz u are attached most likely but TRY..cuz in the end u both might come out happier ALOT happier..believe me been there done that....
2007-07-24 18:55:19 · answer #5 · answered by BooBell=) 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wish I could say, friend. I'm in the EXACT same boat! The more I do for this person, the worse I get treated. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone, but these last 3 months have really tried my patience! Part of me wants to just leave, and find someone who will treat me better, but some IDIOTIC part of me can't let go of "what used to be"!
2007-07-24 22:02:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I think you should slow down, i mean calm down, and you should consider what you will loose if you break up with her...she might no be perfect but if you Love her you should workout the relationship...maybe you need to go out for a weekend just the 2 of you in a romantic set or you need to do something out of routine...and you should consider that if she is dependable is not that bad...you will never find the balance type...if she was too independent she might betray you, never know...that's it.Instead of looking out of the relation try to work inside the relation, and if you overcome those obstacles you see your relationship will be much better!good luck!
2007-07-24 19:00:09 · answer #7 · answered by Rute A 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She seems to have control issues that are becoming a burden to you. Shake things up! Do stuff differently and more spontaneously - romantically. Relight that spark in more creative ways !! Plan a different trip. Try a different restaurant etc.
2007-07-24 18:56:21 · answer #8 · answered by . 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am in a similar relationship. We have been together since Feb. He is German and very serious and strong in his ways. I know it is his up bringing, but being a mild manor-ed southerner, it can sometimes come across very controlling. I do believe he has control issues. But I love him and whenever I see him I am in 7Th Heaven! Until he opens his mouth and starts complaining. I know German men love to complain, but can I make him see I find it annoying or even disrespectful?
2007-07-24 20:03:41 · answer #9 · answered by Nellie Angel 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I just walked out of an almost identical relationship about 6 months ago, and you know, it hurt, but it was the best thing I have ever done. i have met someone amazing, and I am happier than hell
2007-07-24 18:53:09 · answer #10 · answered by Workaholic 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋