no sex - will labour be harder?

Question

I am nearly 24 weeks now with my first baby, so have no idea what to expect with labour..me and my boyfriend have not had full intercourse since I found out I was pregnant..I totally don't want to and neither does he (we have fun in other ways haha!) Anyway my question is whether this lack of sex for like 8 months will make me less 'elasticated' and more likely to tear? Or should I try and 'stretch it out' a bit first!!? Also, I have heard of 'perinium (sp?) massage closer to delivery, any experiences of this helping things..I know its gonna hurt like hell, I just want to do I can now to help things!Serious answers only pls

Answer 1

You're worried about the pain down there.. you shouldn't. The pain we women experience during labor comes from the contractions, not from pushing the baby out. Babies are big compared to our vagina, but that's what vaginas are made for, to push out babies, so you should stretch with no problem. Perineal massage is good 2 or 3 weeks before labor. But like I said, it doesn't hurt when the baby is coming out, the contractions are what hurt... and to tell you the truth, they hurt a LOT but they don't kill you... and what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger right? The pain is bareable, and you'll live through it, I did :o)

Answer 2

Perinium massage helps BEST with a first baby, in preventing episiotomies. I don't think the sex part is going ot matter either way.

The best thing you can do is just relax, and not fight it. Your body is designed for this! If you just let it do what it's going to do, and not wig out about it too much (I know, easy for me to say, I've done this before!!), it's really not as bad as people say.

There ARE things you can do to make labor faster and more comfortable. Seriously consider a DOULA (labor coach). Take a birthing class at your hospital. If your healthy, seriously consider a MIDWIFE (more personal attention! and you don't have 50 different people running in and out of your room all day, which was a MAJOR stress factor for me).

The more you prepare and relax, the easier it is. The healthier you are (yes, you can walk a half hour each day to stay in shape!), the easier it is.

Answer 3

Hubby and I haven't had much sex since I got pregnant. It has completely to do with me I have absolutely no interest in it and to be honest it just isn't as good as before pregnancy. I know a lot of women love having sex while pregnant but I just have not enjoyed it at all. I have heard that perinium massage helps. Sorry this is my first baby so couldn't help out on if sex helps with delivery. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in not wanting sex.

Answer 4

i don't really know the answer about sex making labor easier but i can't image it would change that much. a babies head is so much larger than anything else that passes through that area anyway, the slight difference in not having sex should not count. i have heard of perinium (SP too) but have not had it done. The best thing i can advise is to stay calm. once i started pushing the pain faded..even though many people say that's the worst part of the pain, having something to do and focus on actually made it easier for me. decide beforehand what pain meds you want, IF ANY, and stick to that decision, you don't want to find out too late that you didn't really want that epidural or that you do and can't have it now!

Answer 5

My hubby and I had sex up untill the week I gave birth for both my deiveries. And I had a really smooth labor. 1st 6 hours, second 4 hours. So I would say from my experiance that YES sex helped somehow, way, or other. BUT- if you arent comfortable or it hurts then dont do it! Sometimes you need reassurance from your Dr that it is ok to have sex. That may help, and you wont hurt the baby having regular sex, just dont go crazy flipping positions alot!

Kegal exercises are good too, tightening and relaxing your muscles whenever you get a chance. . .like now while you are sitting on the computer! Try it 5 times. . . See its easy!

I dont know how you would "stretch it out", that sounds unsafe and painful! Lol , but maybe try a small vibrator on your clit while you sit on top of him, it will relax you (feel amazing!)and make you more wet and excited. . . . Again, only if you feel comfortable!

Have fun. and good luck with your new baby!

Answer 6

I have never heard of labor being harder because of a lack of sex. I have given birth four times, and towards the end I felt too huge to even think about sex. When you go into labor, your body will do all of the stretching that it needs. There is no need to worry. If you are concerned about the pain of labor, you should look into birthing classes or perhaps hiring a Doula- a personal birthing coach. Perineum massage is great! It will help you to not tear during labor. Labor can be intense, but if trained properly, it is a wonderful pain. Trust me! These are all concers you should speak with your Midwife or OBGYN about. They can calm your fears, and help guide you to the right couse of action. I hope this helps you, and congratulations.

Answer 7

Why are you giving up sex? Sex during pregnancy is so great! I don't think that the lack of sex with affect your delivery. And I wouldn't try anything unnatural to stretch yourself. Perinium massage can be done during delivery not before.

Enjoy your pregnancy and hop back in the sack. lol

Answer 8

Yes it will make you less elasticated. When you have sex it helps to relax your muscles.
Ive hurde that doing perineal massages really help.

Perinium massage
Directions:

Wash your hands.

Find a private, comfortable place and sit or lean back in a comfortable position.

Put a lubricant such as KY jelly, cocoa butter, vitamin E oil or pure vegetable oil on your thumbs and around the perineum.

Place your thumbs about 1-11/2 inches (3-4 cm) inside your vagina. Press downwards and to the sides at the same time. Gently and firmly keep stretching until you feel a slight burning, tingling or stinging sensation.

Hold the pressure steady at that point with your thumbs for about 2 minutes or until the area becomes a little numb and you don't feel the tingling as much. Keep pressing with your thumbs. Slowly and gently massage back and forth over the lower half of your vagina, working the lubricant into the tissues. Keep this up for 3-4 minutes. Remember to avoid the urinary opening.

As you massage, pull gently outwards (forwards) on the lower part of the vagina with your thumbs hooked inside. This helps stretch the skin as the baby's head will stretch it during birth.

Do this massage once a day, starting around the 34th week of pregnancy. After about a week you should notice an increase in flexibility and stretchiness. If you are uncomfortable about doing this yourself, you may want to ask your partner for assitance. Be sure that you provide your partner with feedback about what is comfortable.

http://www.suite101.com/article.cfm/pregnancy_childbirth/43415/1

Answer 9

No, it will not matter about lack of sex.

Your labor nurse will probably try the massage during your labor. Doing it early won't do much. Just an FYI: Doctors and nurses work extra hard to avoid having a tear and having to cut, so trust that they know what's going on. You can talk to your OB about this too.

Answer 10

I had a LONG labor (but i was only 15) and my OBGYN told me not to have sex at all, mostly because of my age though. but this time he told me it is completely fine for me to have sex up until my 7th month (somewhere around 28 to 30 weeks i think) at the most and may possibly help ease my labor a bit but not much, but labor will hurt no matter what...not going to sugar coat it, it was the worst pain ive EVER had, but it was TOTALLY worth it and im SOOOOOOO increadibly happy I have my daughter =). So good luck with your labor and delivery!