Ever lose your trust in someone....why? Did you ever get it back?

Answer 1

A few different times:

1.) When my mother explained that my "dead father" was actually alive and that he had simply chosen not to be a father. She told me this when I was 15, after I had been thinking he was dead my whole life. I met him when I was 20 and he said the reason he wasn't around was because my mother was a control freak and because he felt he would be a terrible dad after having been an adopted kid himself. I regained my trust in her after I was about 29, I called her to the carpet on everything the year before and through therapy she was able to come clean and really own what damage she had done.

2.) My first wife had an affair with her ex before we were married. It was soon after we had gotten together, so I decided to let it go - attributing the affair to her uncertainty about us. Then she had another affair after we were married. I found out about it through a journal she kept on a word doc on our computer. In her journal she expressed deep remorse and her powerful love for me, but it was just too much. I told her to leave, gave her nothing and, essentially, left her for dead. That was 8 years ago. I forgive her now. I see what I did to contribute to her desire for love as I was "checked out" of the relationship in a panic over money and the future, and I see how terribly she handled it. I forgive her, but I will never trust her. I can't. Trust is sacred and to break that trust is the final straw.

3.) A few years later, I developed a deep friendship with a young woman that turned sexual. We were off-and-on for about five years as she was much younger than I was and still "playing the field". She was honest about it, but it was still hard. Finally, I asked her to be with me - as my steady girlfriend... she was elated. I expressed how important fidelity and loyalty was to me, she was receptive to that. I bought a great house by the beach that we could both move in to and she was days away from moving in. I went for a bike ride one afternoon and found her on the beach making out with another guy. I confronted them right then and there and she freaked. She said she was "entitled" to do whatever and whomever she wished as she shook and cried. He was clueless. I asked if he knew my name, he said no. I dropped her right then and there. She called for weeks, trying to apologize, to make amends and to try to give it another go. I refused. I had lost my trust in her. Bottom line, what if we had children? I couldn't trust my children with her, my children will not know a mother who doesn't know how to honor the trust that's given to her. I still don't trust her. She comes around every now and then, checking on me - especially when we're both single (small town, word gets around) - and I still feel the same. I'm deeply attracted to her, and I still feel some love for her, but her cavalier attitude towards the trust she broke and the fact that when she apologizes, she can't say what for tells me that she cannot be trusted tells me that she doesn't get it.

Trust is paramount in a relationship between two humans. I recognize that my trust has been a bit heavy for some people to carry, but my trust pays in dividends because not only do I give my all to a relationship, but I am completely loyal and faithful. This, I gladly give with all my heart. Break that, and there's nothing... just apologies, heartbreak and loneliness.

Answer 2

After 20 years living with a sister I had known and trusted my whole life (40++ years), I discovered that she was full of lies and deceit….

Looking back over the years, I felt like a real fool! And no, I haven't even spoken to her in a very long time. The devastation she purposely caused!?! I saw the truth when she turned her lies on me! before, she seemed like an innocent victim of the world to me! After years of protecting her, I suddenly heard all the broken hearts she had intentionally shattered and saw things I should have seen so much sooner.

One time, I wanted to trust her again. I wanted this so much because I still love her. I asked God if it were possible to trust her. My answer? A betrayal so vast, it included the whole family. She even turned me in to Adult Protective Services! After caring for my parents for 3 years (without a break or help), she suddenly turns me in!?! Well, it's a long story, but I had people who protected me because they knew what was happening.

That was my last straw! As for my sister, No More Trust, Abuse, or Misery!!!! I will not watch it, nor will I take it any longer!

Answer 3

Yes big time and have stuck it out and been lied to ever since. If I could go back in time I would have set limits within myself and made it be known.

Over-all my relationship with my gf/w has been 13 yrs and have been seperated from her on and of for the last 4 yrs. The thing that makes it hard is that I still love her but we have kids, and without the kids what she has done over time she would not be in the picture. I guess I must like her torturing me.

I will try to shorten the story so bare with me and I am in no way innocent either through drinking and allowing my emotions to boil over thru my big mouth. You could say that the best way to hurt back was through my words as I am not the type to go out and hurt in the way she did.

Anyway after our first baby she got pos-natal depression and thought it a good idea to get stimulated by the local Pay TV guy. Either mentally or physically I will never know. That devistated me in the trust department and took a long time to even heal a little bit, which led to the second child and the second post-natal depression and I knew somethin was up with this guy that was a brother of her friends. So I possed as him with a similar name on yahoo messenger and she took the bait and I organised comin over to have sex and she was all too willing to have that happen. I almost had my heart instinaniously expload.

So after that I really knew I had lost what I thought at a moment in time that I had lost my soul mate and things just got worse.

She got into meth-amph drugs with her brother and was spending all our money and eventually physically cheated behind my back and all the lies about money, whereabouts and stuff I was too depressed to even help myself because I knew I couldnt take the kids because the law has it that mum knows best.

Anyway after chance after chance and more chances I am here today after finding a message from a guy that said I wish I could come over and get away from it all and make you *** everywhere. Her reply to that was pretty much I so cant wait.

The weird thing is she pulls me in to fix the relationship and I have hope then she does this. Some people are just habitual liers and cheaters and selfish.

Moral to the story. DONT BE AN IDIOT LIKE ME. Make boundaries on how much you could bare. Leave with the hope that your kids will be ok, its hard, but do it before you are dead from your own hands.

Sorry to hear that gizmo (BELOW ANSWER WAY to hijac a question) but you must have me misplaced for someone else as my story does not seem to relate to yours as I used to work from 7am in the morning and get home 6pm and later, would have loved 5pm dinner and yes I would love for my wife to have dinner ready after such a long day at work. I can see a little why your husband may have been upset with the way you said AND HE EXPECTED DINNER AT 5 like you were a slave where in fact if you were not working and you have that attitude I would expect you were not pulling your wait for the betiment of your family. I hope you can find it in yourself to see the wrongs you have made and are still making by the sounds of it just because your husband said you were lazy (which you may have been) fat doesnt turn him on (it does not me either) and by the sounds of it I dont know whether you were pullin your weight or just being lazy. It sounds like your husband needed to leave you a long time ago

Answer 4

Yes, because I worked 70 hours a week while she sat around the house doing nothing but having an emotional affair with an out of work guy.

I do not have trust because she still thinks that she did nothing wrong. Even the part where the kids were neglected and bills didn't get paid because she didn't work.

Answer 5

yes. my dh was physically abusive to me years ago. we separated for a year. It was the hardest time in my life. And I told him I would never trust him again. I guess I learned to trust him again because he worked hard to earn it. I am sure I've made him angry many many times since then and he has never ever raised his hand to me again. Had he ever seemed like he was about to do it again it would've been over. But he has proven to me that it was a mistake and not an ongoing issue.

You can only trust the person again if they take responsibility and do everything in their power to prove it will never happen again.

Answer 6

Yes I did big time, I thought I can trust this man that I married and he can't do such a thing but I was wrong, he took my trust when he had an affair with a married woman.....and I can't trust him anymore after all this years that I devoted my life, love and devotion to him. Now at least I can sleep at night knowing that it just me and my kids in the house forever...

Answer 7

Some may say once you lose trust you can never get it back! Right? WELL, I think that is WRONG!!! Cause me and my hunnie started out and he acted imaturally.. And he cheated. :(
It was the worst of the worst.. So we seperated. I decided we needed to find ourselves before we tried to have a commited relationship, especially after he cheated. I thought to my self, thats it. It is over there is no way we can try to work this out. Because silly me, I thought omg, once a cheater always a cheater.. Its took one night to ruin it alll! And believe me I was hurting to the fullest.
Well it took a long while before I learned to trust him again. We worked things out and he hasn't cheated on me in 4 years.. And I took the biggest chance of risking another heart break.. but I followed my insticts to try to trust him again. And it worked.. So we are doing great and goind strong.. And I always think what if I wouldn't of learned to trust him again! I wouldn't of got to really experience everything I am today!!

And to top it off we are getting married.. Bottom line, follow your insticts. If something in the back of your mind says not to trust again! Don't! but if your willing to take the chance not knowing the outcome of that, then don't trust nor take the chance of hurting yourself again!

Answer 8

Havent got it back yet.Probly never trust her again to a full extent.Twenty years of lying takes a heavy toll on trust.

Answer 9

Yes, because of a lie. He'll probably never earn my trust again because he is still lying. Now I don't really care any more. I'll just keep on swimmin....

Answer 10

yes i did, from the man who calls himself lied2forwhatseems4ever, there is always 2 sides to every story, my relationship of 13-14 years started of great until i fell pregant with our first.
he started to come home from work almost ever day and yelling out me that saying things like i was fat lazy a beached whale , i had to have his dinner on the table at 5, mean while i was only 19 and had ijust had a new baby,
I did turn to some as such the tv pay guy who seam to show me more respect me more then my own husband did, and it was only a friend ship nothing ever come of it, but my husband acused me of cheating, so i ended the friendship with my friend
I could not have any male friend what so ever as i was always acused of sleeping with them,
then come a stage that my husband said to me that fat didnt turn him on, i was crushed, i was hart broken,it torn me into bits i was so in love with him that i would have done anything for him so i needed and want to keep him I turned to drugs, I lost weight and my husband payed attention to me, he finally loved me, i am no longer on drug and it has been years since then,
but to this day i still get acused of sleeping around, i could no longer handle this, after 4 years of hearing that i was every name under the sun, 4 years of him checking every move i made, keep recipts of ever little cent that i spend, for years of trying to be an open book to him
so i kicked him out
So there i was talking to a male friend on the internet (who lives more then 300 k away, who is married and has kids,) and my husband hacked into my computer from over 500 k aways and read my emails once again he calls me name and acuse me of cheating
so yeah i have been hurt,
i have also been lied to from him,