My friends wife is being unfaithul?

Question

I have heard from several sources that my very good friend's wife is being unfaithful. I would like to tell him but I don't want to hurt my friend and also we have a business together and I think that it would suffer if they were to divorce. I have invested a lot of money in the business which up till now is doing nicely. I really don't know what to do. Any ideas? Thanks

So many answers and so short a tine. I'l try to expand a bit. I have no problem in telling my friend, but I cannot verify the facts (I'm sure he will want them) What is more important to me is the business, because it is my only source of income, it is the only source of income for my 6 year old son and ex-wife. He will find out eventually I'm sure, I think the best thing for me is to be honest with him. ****, this is going to be hard.

Thanks for all the answers, many are very helpfull, a couple just told me to mind my own business. Here is what I will do, I am meeting him today in about an hour, I will tell him what I know. He's too good a friend to allow to be treated in this way, he will eventually find out anyway so the bad news is best to come from a good friend. I didn't select a best answer because there were so many, sorry.

Answer 1

If you are not one hundred percent sure then you should not tell your friend. the thing is people can see a lot of thins when they are on the out side looking in.

If you are friends with his wife then you should speak to her about it. if you are not then write her an anonymous letter telling her what you know and insisting that she change her ways and come clean to her husband or you will.

However, if you are not doing this for the sake of your friend then you should rethink this carefully.

all the best

otherwise, ask a friend of hers to talk to her.

Answer 2

I would advise that you be 100% sure of the infidelity before doing anything at all...also, depending on how good of a friend he is (i assume you are close), I would say that it is in his best interest to know what is actually going on. However, i can understand the situation regarding your business. If i were in your position, i would definitely do what i could to safeguard myself from any negative repercussions that could result. But in the end, i would figure out a way of telling my friend the truth and trust that he would also have my best interests in mind. This is just my opinion and it's hard to say without really knowing your situation. Maybe you can act as a mediator between the couple depending on how close you are with his wife.

Answer 3

Wow -- this is loaded . . . In my opinion, the first thing you have to ask yourself is how reliable your sources are.

Next, I may be reaching; however if your business partner is your very good friend, I would venture to say that your friends wife is also your very good friend. If that is the case, maybe you should think about talking to her first. If you find out that she is being unfaithful, then encourage her to approach her husband to talk about the reasons behind her straying. I'm not saying to give her an ultimatum, but it would not hurt if she understood your feelings on the matter and that your intention is to be honest in your friendship with her and her husband.

As far as hurting the business goes, it is better to take care of your friends first, and your business second. Make no mistake, your friend will find out about his wife's unfaithfulness. If he also finds out that you knew about it and didn't tell him, what will he think of your integrity as his business partner? Your business will suffer either way.

Further, who's to say that if you or his wife tells him about her unfaithfulness that it will result in divorce?

Bottom line is that he will find out eventually. Encourage his wife to tell him, or you need to tell him.

Answer 4

You are a bit selfish to be honest. So much for your so called friendship. But hey, I guess it is something you have to take into account.
Now, you can't go and bring such rumours to your friend in the first place since it's just what they are.
So, unless you have proof of something going on, well, keep your ear say to yourself.
Next, surely you want to think of how you'd feel if you were in your friend's shoes? it would feel dammed good wouldn't it if it was his business he was worried about first of when your life is going upside down.
So, I suggest that you think about your business obviously, make some discreet inquiries with a solicitor, but, try and bear in mind that you never know what's round the corner!

Answer 5

first of all, not only is he a business partner, but a friend. If you keep this from him and he finds out that you knew, kiss the business goodbye! You need to steer him straight. You may be able to help him get through this faster and this may be good for business. He may work more to keep his mind pre-occupied. But if you don't, he will feel like you betrayed his trust and what good is that from a business point of view. Be honest with him and help him. That's what REAL friends do.

Answer 6

Setup a temp email account and send an email anonomously with all the facts you know and let him find out for himself. you will most probably be approached by him at some stage on the quite to see what you know. Tell him not to do anything stupid until the business assest have been transfered into your name so the cheating maggot cant get her hands on it. She gets busted and your income source is secure. Everyones happy.

Answer 7

Since you don't know anything for sure, only what you have heard from so and so, who heard it from someone else who heard it from another person, and so on, I wouldn't get involved. The one that breaks the news is always the fall guy. If you tell him and he forgives her, then he may not want to face you anymore, if you tell him and he divorces her, then you suffer financially. I would stay quiet unless you have concrete evidence of an affair, and even then I would send it anonymously.

Answer 8

What means more to you your business or your "Friendship" and some times is best to stay out of peoples personal business by the way or like you say you just may be the one to suffer at the end :) good luck.

Answer 9

First of all you should try and find out for definate that's she's being unfaithful and that it's not just rumours...this could destroy your friendship more with your mate. And as for worrying about him not being there for the business for a while i'm sure he'll be there for you sometime in the future. x

Answer 10

i always think in cases like this you should stay out of it. Not to mention you're hearing it from sources not from her so he may just believe her when she says she didn't. a lot of times in cases like this the marriage works out but the friendship is ruined. don't say anything. if you feel you must do something then I would let her know that people are saying this about her and that if it's true her dh will find out eventually. maybe that'll scare her into stopping or fessing up on her own.