Long story short. Went overseas, was gone so long so broke up (my fault-hey, i was lonely over there and looking at another 1.5 years) ended up dating someone else, still with that newer person and now ex is overseas(where I was was her country while she was in the US-ironic, i know). Now, ex is back in home country to move on with life bc I didnt work out and there is no reason for her in the US anymore she claims. I'm back in the US living with more recent gf (although it's been over 2 yrs!). We've kept contact rare, and when we do it's friends like-but we both care. We had an abortion together which was an emotional ordeal for us both and were 2gethr for 2yrs. She doesn't know I'm living with a girl. Should it matter? She doesn't ask-things have been kept friendly up until now.It's just that, I just feel for her bc of what we went through and I have a lot of respect for her. She never mentions pursuing things or anything-just that she likes to hear from me every now and then.
2007-07-24 09:05:05 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you REALLY want to be with this ex, then dump your current girlfriend and go for it, but don't do this half in half out thing where you're keeping secrets about having a LIVE-IN girlfriend. You'll wind up hating yourself for it cause lying through omission is still lying. Trust me, I've been there.
You just need to figure out what you really want and are you willing to take the consequences of losing your current girlfriend for your ex, cause you can't have both.
One last thing, there's a REASON why you guys broke up. I'm not saying that maybe now it won't work, but only you know the answer as to why you're so hesitant about getting back together with her. It doesn't sound like she's really available anyway, I'm mean, she's overseas and you said so yourself, you guys barely talk.
Remember this, even if you make the wrong decision, you'll find that it was the right one for you. Good luck!!!
2007-07-24 09:25:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only problem that I see with your situation is;
it doesn't sound like you are being honest.
Not with your ex or with your recent gf.
If you don't have anything to hide, hide nothing.
As long as both women know about each other, then there's nothing wrong with what you're doing.
And when it comes to telling your recent gf, you just need to tell her exactly what you just told us.
you 2 have gone through alot together and you have alot of respect for her.
If it bothers your recent gf, then you'll have to make a decision.
But right now you're doing the same thing to your recent gf that you did with your ex wife.
Doesn't sound like you learned anything the first time. Same thing is probably going to happen to this relationship if you don't have everything out on the table.
Good luck
Try to learn from your mistakes :D
2007-07-24 16:16:05 · answer #2 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to ask yourself the following question: do you want to try to re-establish your relationship with your ex? If so, end your current relationship and give it a try. If not, you need to let go and move on with your life.
It seems to me that the only purpose to remaining in contact with her is to "keep your options open". This is deceitful to both your current girlfriend and yourself. The truth of the matter is that you cannot possibly expect to remain in contact with an exgirlfriend without including other past emotional baggage, which will continue to put your current relationship at risk. Given that, the time has come for you to make a choice. Make the choice. Indecision is really a decision to maintain the status quo, and I do not believe the status quo to be emotionally healthy.
Best of luck.
2007-07-24 16:40:01 · answer #3 · answered by taotedan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the two of you are no longer together, then you've already let go.
If she contacts you every once in a while, there is nothing wrong with that, but you must tell her that you've moved on and have another girl. I think this is the key for her to finally stop calling you - that's if it makes you uncomfortable.
2007-07-24 16:10:49 · answer #4 · answered by Ambassador Z 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
So, let me get this right...you are the one having trouble letting go.... That is what it sounds like, anyway. You have to be honest with this girl, and with your current girlfriend. You are being shady, in my opinion. Figure out what you really want and then go from there.
2007-07-24 16:13:53 · answer #5 · answered by Melissa G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to go just do not have any futher contact with her. But if you want to stay friends you must level with her about what has happen in your life. Then it is up to her to figure out what she wants to do.
2007-07-24 16:14:43 · answer #6 · answered by Aliz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Man, its time to grow up! You haven't been honest with anyone and you're not ready for a steady relationship. I feel sorry for your "recent" GF.
Come clean, be honest and grow up, will ya?
2007-07-24 16:21:43 · answer #7 · answered by susano 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As long as you dont hide anything, and the present gf is ok with it.
2007-07-24 16:09:50 · answer #8 · answered by Qyllix 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
too much drama, find a local lonely girl to handle your love
2007-07-24 16:18:42 · answer #9 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Uggggh,,,so much drama and information to process. That alone would be enough to make me let go and be over it.
2007-07-24 16:08:28 · answer #10 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋