You know you're getting old when......?

Answer 1

Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
The gleam in your eye is from the sun hitting your bifocals.
You feel like the morning after and you haven't had the night before.
Your little black book contains only names ending in M.D.
You get winded playing chess.
Your children begin to look middle-aged.
You're 17 around the neck, 43 around the waist, and 96 around the golf course.
You finally reach the top of the ladder, and find it leaning on the wrong wall.
You join a health club but don't have the energy to go.
You decide to start procrastinating but never get around to it.
You're still chasing women but can't remember why.
Your mind makes contracts your body can't keep.
You remember today that your wedding anniversary was yesterday.
You know all the answers but nobody asks you the questions.
You look forward to a dull evening.
A dripping faucet causes an uncontrollable bladder urge.
You walk with your head held high...because you've got new bifocals.
Your favorite part of the newspaper is "25 Years Ago Today".
You turn the light out for economic rather than romantic reasons.
You sit in a rocking chair but can't make it go.
Your knees buckle and your belt won't.
You start to regret all those times you resisted temptation.
You stop looking forward to your next birthday.
After painting the town red, you need a long rest before applying the second coat.
Dialing long distance wears you out.
You're startled the first time you're addressed as "old timer".
You just can't stand people who are intolerant.
The best part of your day is over when the alarm clock goes off.
After 9:00pm, you're burning the midnight oil.
Your back goes out more often than you do.
Your pacemaker makes the garage door go up when a pretty woman walks by.
The little grey-haired old lady you helped across the street was your wife.
You get your exercise acting as pallbearer for your friends who exercise.
You have too much room in the house and not enough in the medicine cabinet.
You sink your teeth in a thick juicy steak...and they stay there.

Answer 2

When the kids you work with do not even know what an Atari is. Then you have to explain to them that was BEFORE PlayStation, Wii, X-Box, Sega and the likes. This was the granddaddy of them all. That is when you realize that you are "old".

Answer 3

You know you're getting old when your children say, "Hey, Grandma! I mean Mom!"

Answer 4

People say "Excuse me, Sir" (especially if you're a woman)

You start to think "all the music out there today really SUCKS; why can't they play more ________ "

Answer 5

When you're walking down the street and see a beautiful young lady and say to yourself I wonder if her mother is single.

Answer 6

you hear about a celebrity dying, and you first want to know how old they were, so you can figure how likely you are to die of the same thing in a few years.

Answer 7

Before you get to the part of the conversation where you 'make your point', you lose your thread & forget what you were talking about!
Dear oh dear.

Answer 8

You have to set an alarm to remind you to take your blood pressure pill

Answer 9

Policemen start to look soooo young

Answer 10

You remember when MTV actually played music videos.