parents divorce??

Question

my parents are getting a divorce, my mom kind of surprised my dad with this but hes known it could happen for a few years, he was gone for a week wiring a house for his cousin all last week and my mom has been gone since he's been home and he found out today, my mom is moving to a small town about an hour away that my grandma and my aunt live, my dad wants to stay here, my mom wants me to live with her, and my dad wants me to live with him, and they said its my choice but most likeley they'd fight for custody, my brother is 11, he thinks its cool and wants to live with my mom, im 15 and i dont, i wouldnt want to go to the school in that new town i'd like to finish my last 3 years of school right where im at, i dont know who to go with? i dont wanna make either parent dissapointed either, im equally close with both of them, my dad makes more money and knows how to manage it better than my mom and i dont know how she could handle it. what should i do??

Answer 1

Well I do have to say your on the right path. You seem very smart for your age. I would have to say stay with your dad. At 15 it does start to be about you and what you need to do to get your life started. You already have a head on your broad sholders and keep it that. Don't take advantage of this situation tho. I did when I was younger and it did bite me in **** later. Keep your head in the game and you will do just fine. Oh and when it comes to the courts, have your dad tell the judge that you want to talk to him privately and tell him (judge) what you said here. You will stay with your dad most likely! Good luck!!

Answer 2

I'm 15 also and my parents are divorced. I know how tough it is to be in the middle and not want to upset the parents. It seems that you do have a better idea of who you want to live with and just dont want to make a decision either way, and i understand. the final decision will be up to you and your brother and although whatever you choose may upset the other parent im sure they will want whats best for you. if you live with your dad you could make arrangements to visit your mom a couple days a week and maybe stay with her on weekends and vacations. an hour away really isnt that bad. my parents have joint custody where they both have equal time, every other two days actually. something like that could be tough with the distance but maybe you could live with your dad for the school year and visit your mom then in the summer live with your mom and visit your dad? i hope everything works out and i wish you the best!

Answer 3

Well, it's going to be a very difficult decision. You should try sitting down with your parents and let them know how you feel and that you are not taking sides. Since you want to remain in the school you attend maybe you can suggest that you stay with your dad, continue school and see how it works out. You can always change your mind later.

My stepdaughter came to live with us when she was 10 for about 2 years than decided she wanted to go back to her mother. Now she's 17. And her younger brother moved in with us about 3 years ago when he was around 10 because he has two little brothers and an older stepbrother.

Good luck on what ever choice you make.

Answer 4

Your brother has already made up his mind, and from the sounds of it, you have to, you;re just trying to figure out how to justify it.

You sound like you want to stay with your Dad, you feel like he is the more stable of the two, not to mention you want to stay in teh same school.

Explain to your Mom that you want to stay and finish high school, settle in, and have a good life.

In so much as the custody battle, most states (and I don't knwo where you live) will allow the child (depending on the age) to either make the choice themselves, or take their thoughts into very serious consideration when deciding where the child will live.

Answer 5

You are old enough to decide where you want to live and your parents will realize this once you've spoken to both of them about your wishes. You have the right to stay with your father as long as you have the adult guidance and supervision you need at your age. If your father is gone for long periods of time, especially on a job that takes him away for a week or more at a time, it may not sit well with your mother and she'll fight for that one and probably win. Talk to them, express your wishes in a calm, cool and rational manner, with maturity, if you want them to listen to you. Write down your list of pro's and cons and rehearse what you want to say so you don't leave any concerns out. I'm sure they both want what is the very best for you. Good luck.

Answer 6

You sound like a wonderful young man & so while your parents are getting divorced, they at least did right by you. I have a feeling that this will continue no matter "their" situation & joint custody is something that happens in divorces, thoguh not often enough when able.

Your Mother is sure to understand that you want to finish school where your at - just remember - your her son and "leaving" you behind is not something she even wants to fathom in her emotional state. Explain that you will not be "left behind" - you'll call and write and visit as often as you both are able. Explain to your Father that you are NOT "choosing" him over your Mother - just that you want to finish school. Leave it at that - this way they can both be proud of what a great man they have raised despite thier situation.

As for your brother - let him be and handle this however he needs to. Understand that YOU will be setting a good example for him by maintaining your maturity - four years difference is alot. Admit it or not - he's looking to you and while he may do his own thing - he see's very clearly how your dealing with this.

See if your parents are even willing to sit down with you & your brother and talk tings out rationally - be sure your parents understand that if they cannot be civil for your & your brothers sake - then the meeting ends & let them know you'll talk to your law guardian about it all.

BTW - a law guardian is YOUR lawyer - there is one in every divorce that involves minor children - with your age & level of maturity it would not be at all wrong to ask your parents to speak with this person as they are suppose to request a meeting with you anyways & it oftentimes gets overlooked as the children are mcuh younger.

Answer 7

I would suggest staying with your dad and sometimes visiting your mom. If she can't handle taking care both you and your brother, then staying with your dad will help her financially.

Answer 8

if you want to stay in your school then you need to stay with your dad.