my wife has a girlfriend and at first i wasn't fine with the whole thing but i thought i would loose her so i had a talk with the "girlfriend" and told her i cant handle my wife getting hurt so if that is not going to happen then i'm fine with the idea.
but now i'm wondering if it would work out or if it would break us up?
i love my wife dearly and don't want to lose her but i'm wondering who she'll choose when it comes down too that decision.
need serious advice...
2007-07-24 06:22:48 · 20 answers · asked by sassy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Look man if you seriously let you woman wonder into another's bed, it's over. She may say she loves you and when the decision time comes may choose with you but that bond is broken.
2007-07-24 06:25:45 · answer #1 · answered by ♡LiL♥Kitten♡ 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sorry, got thrown off by a girl avatar talking about having a wife...congrats on getting married where it's legal for homosexuals to do so. ☺
ANY time a couple adds playmates or other "partners" to the mix, the risk dramatically rises that eventually the person with multiple lovers/partners will choose one over the other(s) and there's no guarantee it'll be the partner who was around first/longest/spouse.
You said you thought you'd "lose" (not loose) your wife and implied that you thought that would happen if you weren't okay with the girlfriend issue...if that's the case then you two aren't a good match anyway. Don't compromise what you really want by allowing a behavior that makes you uncomfortable because you think she'll leave if she doesn't get her way...if she does leave, she wasn't really into you anyway (so let her go so you'll be free to meet someone who is).
2007-07-24 06:28:03 · answer #2 · answered by . 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a sacred and beautiful thing. Two people make a vow to be there for each other rather it be a good life or a bad one. If she is seeing someone else then, sorry to say but in my opinion that's like a slap to your face.
You truly are devoted to her and love her so much that you would suffer through this just to make her happy and keep her in your life. Her dating other people shows that her love for you might not be as strong as the love you have for her.
The best thing you could do it talk it out with her. Tell her how much you care about her and all the torment you're going through just to make her happy, but if she wants other people, then you must do what you feel is right.
Good luck and I'll pray for you both.
2007-07-24 06:51:31 · answer #3 · answered by David 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This isn't going to end well, when the time comes for her to choose (and it will come because one of you will pressure her to make it), even if she chooses to stay with you this relationship is broken. You may always wonder when she is going to find her next girlfriend or boyfriend.
I'm sure she is a happy clam, she gets everything she wants and you and the girlfriend feels the pain of it when she leaves one of you to go back to the other one.
2007-07-24 06:33:08 · answer #4 · answered by Reb 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a bad spot you are in, and I totally understand that you love her, but you are not being fare to yourself. You deserve someone who will make you the center of her world. You should not have to share her with anyone. if you do want to sit back and wait for her decision, just be prepared for the worst...i don't mean to be so gloomy, but if she has looked outside the marriage for something new, it indicates a problem that may not go away. Even if she does choose you, she is obviously not happy with something, and who'se to say it won't happen again in the next bumpy patch? You DESERVE BETTER.
2007-07-24 06:27:39 · answer #5 · answered by Heather 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally, if you love your wife that much to tell her that then she should respect your feelings and emotions. But you should have went to the wife first and asked permission to talk to her girlfriend so she wont be pissed off. Tell your wife how you feel deep down inside and pray to God she understands your decision.
2007-07-24 06:32:45 · answer #6 · answered by sugarlovecare2 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Inviting someone into a marriage on an intimate level opens doors that should never be opened. If you are afraid of losing her you need to deal with the security issues of your marriage, and by that I mean the trust, the love and your committment to the marriage and that can't be solved by involving another person (unless it's a marriage counselor).
2007-07-24 06:28:10 · answer #7 · answered by foodieNY 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello sassy.
It seems to me that your wife has cheated on you.
You know better than all of us on how your relationship is going. And you did the right thing confronting the "girlfriend" and telling her you feelings.
All you have to hope for is if your wife will make the right decision.
2007-07-24 06:27:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm confused! Your profile picture looks like a woman and then you're speaking like you're a man. Anyway, this is not a healthy marriage. I have a relative that divorced over this. His wife had an affair with a woman. He told his mom some private sexual stuff and I got word of this. After my cousin found out that his wife was having an affair with a woman, his male ego was so hurt he went to a bar and had a one night stand with some strange woman. This cousin is now remarried to a nice intelligent woman. Good luck!
2007-07-24 06:26:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 4⤋
as long as you and the girlfriend in the same page not to hurt each other everything should be fine between all three of you
take it easy
chow
2007-07-24 06:31:24 · answer #10 · answered by ticaholly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋