Should i be concerned if my partner says hes not into Porn but i found it on our home computer?

Question

He says he accidentally clicked on something and then other stuff just started poppin up. Hes 42 and fairly reasonable. I trust him but I know he is inquisitive and it sometimes causes problems. Our computer is new also. We've had it about 3 months now.

Im not saying porn is bad, im saying dont lie about it. If an occasional view of it is what u like, fine. I've never even really seen/looked at porn- per say- but now that im older, maybe it would be something enticing. But how can we talk about it if he cannot be honest with me. And not all men are into porn. to each his own but before we married he said he wasnt into it and now we have 2 children under the age of 5. i wouldnt want my son on the computer palying his disney games and something like that pop up.

Answer 1

Well, let me ask you this. How many times have YOU been surfing the net and stuff just "started popping up"?

I haven't had that happen, except for Netflix or Classmates ads. Never have I "accidentally" had porn come up on my computer. Just a thought. Whether or not you should be concerned is your call.

Answer 2

He might just be telling you the truth. Sometimes, you got POP UPS & most of the time, they are Porn. Try getting a Pop Up Blocker (you can select it as an option on your Yahoo Home Page). You should use Mozilla Firefox for browsing. That also helps for pop ups. Keep monitoring him after installing all these & see what happens later on when you find it under history again. Some guys tell the truth, some guys lie just to protect your feelings, some guys lie b/c they think their slick. It all depends on the type of guy he is. If you say he's the the fairly reasonable guy & you trust him, then go with that.

Answer 3

What he told you has happened to me. I was researching a student loan company with the acronym T.E.R.I. and wound up with adult photography of some ladies named Teri... Really embarrassing as this passed through filters at work!

This really comes down to a couple of issues:
Are the two of you happy otherwise? Do you have a healthy physical relationship? If so then your partner looking at a few dirty pictures or videos shouldn't be an issue. He's a healthy male and that's what they like to do. As long as the desire it stirs sends him to you, there's nothing wrong with that.

Now, on the other hand, if the porn is accessible by children or is deviant to the point of illegality or mental illness or seriously bothers you because of religious issues, then talk to your partner again. Explain how you feel and why and ask him to be honest with you. That's the only call for concern here - whether or not your partner is being dishonest with you. But even then, he may simply be embarrassed or trying to spare your feelings and sensibilities about the subject.

Bottom line, is this worth rocking your boat about? Only you know the answer here.

Answer 4

First of all - I am so sick and tired of woman saying, "most men look at porn!" Because it is NOT true. It's true to them because that is THEIR reality. What is right for some couples isn't necessarily right for you and there are plenty of happily married men who have absolutely no interest in it. If pornography bothers you speak up about it. Most women will put up with it just because they've bought into the lie that it's normal and that it's ok. But if it bugs you - it's not! And you have a god-given right to say so. Your partner should never partake in anything that makes you feel hurt or uncomfortable. Period.

Answer 5

I'm not sure what you mean by "sometimes causes problems". Sounds like you have concerns about him that are not related to porn. That aside, I don't think that it's a problem if he occasionally looks at porn; and as far as lying about it - maybe he feels it's something personal that he doesn't want to share with anyone. If my husband asked me if I like to look at porn, I'd plead the 5th - I do take a peek sometimes, but I really don't want to admit to it "in public", even to my husband; different people draw a line differently when it comes to privacy. This is just a guess on my part as to what his motives are; you are the final judge as to whether or not he was lying with an intent to mislead or hurt you, or if he just felt that you were intruding in his personal space. He may simply not be comfortable talking about it - in this case, just let it be. Just because you're together, doesn't mean you own each other's thoughts.

Answer 6

Once you click on the stuff it keeps coming back but it never gets on anyone PC out of the blue. As someone who had a PC in the home with two little girls it never JUST showed up but if you go somewhere and click on something POP UPS are a killer I know I had the same question asked of me and after cleaning my hard drive it was fine and so was I....loll play it cool for awhile...

Answer 7

First of all, whether or not the computer is new would not affect porn just "popping up". And also, I've heard stories of a lot of my friends' dads looking at porn, and that is a VERY common excuse. I would say that there is a good chance that he likes porn, but I wouldn't worry too much about it; most men look at it.

Answer 8

It is incredibly easy to run across porn online whether you are seeking it or not. Remove the porn from your computer and don't worry about it...however, let your partner know that if he does enjoy peeking at it from time to time that it's okay (because it should be).

Guys would be a LOT less likely to like about that subject if women would stop being so insecure about it for no reason (this may not be your situation, but it's definitely true in general).

Answer 9

Depends on where you found it, and what type of file it is.

If you found it in the temp files, telp internet files cookeis etc. it would well be an accident. Pop up? Could well be an accident.

Now, if you found actual pictures in folder, or video files, then he was definitely being inquisitive, and they were no accident.

Answer 10

i know this can happen it happened to me you get pop ups some times and its hard to click them and see whats there its just guy thing and sometimes they can even take over your home page..those sex sites have things in them sometimes that wont go away unless you reboot your pc...but i also know its guys nature to look at adult sites.... when we first got our pc i came in and found a site on our desk top and i didn't put it there so i ask my son how it got there he said it just poped up and got on there and i said like sure.....but a few days later it done it to me so i had to tell him ok i see what you ment it done me that way too. any husband that says that they have not looked at some form of porn are either preachers or really bad liers so just go with him for now till you find more....you can go into the history and see what sites he goes in unless he has learned how to delete them.