what makes the difference?
(between loving and being inlove)
2007-07-24 05:37:55 · 45 answers · asked by enki 4 in Arts & Humanities ➔ Philosophy
TO LOVE (loving) has nothing to do with "falling in love". To Love another is a Choice to DO something. Loving is in your openness to recognizing the needs of another person, and willingly sacrifice from your own resources (time, energy, emotion, finances, etc...) and Invest it into this other person that you may or may not even have a personal relationship with for no personal gain of your own. That is Love.
Being/falling "in love" is purely an emotional experience. It does not need to be rational or logical, and is only within the person who has "fallen". The other person is not required to reciprocate with like emotion... but if you would Act out Love (Loving) with this person you will likely get a positive response.
You can Love anyone at all, and hopefully you do Love everyone you come in contact with in your life. But feeling In-Love is a special experience that I hope you get to share with another person that will develop into a Loving commitment between you.
I Love You when I take the time to listen & share life with you and I believe you do the same for me. But I am not In-Love with you. You are my friend and that is a different special feeling for a different special relationship.
Peace
2007-07-24 07:21:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
~~~ Yes,it's POSSIBLE to LOVE without FALLING INLOVE! I LOVE Bob Marley and everything he stood for,plus his music is awesome. Yet ,I'm not INLOVE with him. That would be impossible since he's been gone for twenty six years now......although his music lives on. Forever! I have a boyfriend whom I sorta love,but I'm not INLOVE with him like I was with my husband before he passed away. Being INLOVE makes you feel more secure with the person you're with. I'll never be INLOVE with my boyfriend because he makes racist remarks about Bob Marley , which goes against my hero's philosophy........"One Love" So next time J says something negative....it's to the curb. ~~~
2007-07-24 06:20:05 · answer #2 · answered by donelle g. 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I believe so. We can love children or friends without being "in love" with them. All I know about being "in love" is there's no reason in it. If it's only infatuation, it will pass, though it rarely seems it will at the beginning. But you can fall in love across a room with someone you've never met - or fall in love with someone you've known for some time and either been friends with, or opposed to. I've done it all. And still have no idea how it works, except you know when you've got it - and if you have, it never goes away, even if it's someone you couldn't live with. But if it's real, and you enjoy being together,all the time, it grows deeper and it's a marvel you wouldn't exchange for anything. What joy
2007-07-24 20:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a huge difference between being in love and loving someone. I went my whole life loving my boyfriends and thinking I was in love. When I finally fell in love and could not breathe when he was not with me, then I figured out what the difference was. I would have done everything for the boyfriends that i loved but I would have died for the only one that I was in love with. It took me a long time to figure out the difference between those two things and I can tell you I fell in love and when he left me it was the worst pain that I have ever felt. I almost wish that I never did find out how different loving and being in love was.
2007-07-27 07:30:29 · answer #4 · answered by HEAVEN 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you are asking about are two entirely different things. FALLING IN LOVE only happens once. there will always and only be that one person that you fell in love with. whether you are still with them, you've let them go, or haven't even met them yet is your problem.
LOVING on the other hand occurs everyday in your life. you love your family, you love your friends, you love your kids (if you have any). everyone LOVES but not everyone FALLS IN LOVE. some people are afraid to and some don't want to because they fear what might and could be the aftermath of falling in love. LOVE is passion for anything or anyone, but once you have FALLEN IN LOVE, its a never ending story...
2007-07-24 10:13:01 · answer #5 · answered by Steven K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, love is the natural state of humans.
Its just that we live in a time that we are so programed or advertised to believe that love must be something so out of reach that no one can really express or feel it without all the psychobabble in todays medical realm.
The difference is that as a child we naturally love those that we deem as safe, those that come into our lives and we are to understand either through taught or experience that we love, we love the grass for it is new, green and a wonder to our eyes, our touch and our senses in a number of ways; we love the dogs, cats, and all because we sense they are part of life that we share the same need to be a part of.
As we grow we are taught that you must learn to love, you must experience love in a way that is foreign to us. Love is notoriously confused with sex.
Love is not something that you fall in or out of. For love is exactly what it is love. And if you have to fall in love with someone then you need to understand that it is mostly a physical attraction, that will in short term fade and then you make excuses to why you fall out of love. Love is not something that is falling into nor out of, for love a lone is natural and is the life that we are to experience and enjoy.
Too bad there is not more understanding of how wonderfully natural and easy love is. It is ashame that we have placed too many rules, and perimeters on and around it. If you have to fall in love then is it love or is it a possessions you are acquiring?
2007-07-24 14:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by kickinupfunf 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Of course. There are so many varieties of love, that it is more than possible to feel several and still keep your balance perfectly. the important thing is to practice love on a daily basis, much as the high wire performer walks the fine line regularly,in order to remain comfortable with the discipline.
2007-07-24 15:30:06 · answer #7 · answered by MUDD 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There's a very old song that just came to mind & I'll try to remember......Falling in love with love is falling for make believe, falling in love with love is playing the fool...(pretty close)! Falling in love is strictly romantic; one doesn't fall "in" love with friends but loves them. The very phrase implies an impermanence, a sense of not being in control. FALLING! Oh here's another one--"It was great fun, but it was just one of those things." & it IS fun. I wouldn't have missed falling in love. It's a high, a sort of wonderful temporary insanity. Wow am I with it tonight! "...when a flame dies, smoke gets in your eyes." & it does, because it's so intense, & it burns itself out. It gets "used up" quickly. We all know there are many kinds of love. Let me stick with the love for/with a partner. This kind of love can sometimes grow through a friendship. (Perhaps the very best kind?) "In love" is superficial. Love is deep, honest, loyal, accepting & true. Take it from an ancient 34 year old. The answer from me, is obviously "YES."
HEY! When I first got my "Top Contributor" months ago, I was sort of embarrassed. Since yesterday, it's been snatched away! I think I began to "fall in love" with it, & now I've got smoke in my eyes!
2007-07-24 20:30:46 · answer #8 · answered by Psychic Cat 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. If you can imagine being with someone the rest of your life passionately, I consider that (falling) in love. I love my friends and family sincerely, and I can imagine staying with someone (marriage) for the rest of my life loving them, but not being "in" love. This would be what I refer to as "comfortable".
There is also being "in love with the idea of being in love". This is people who have a deep need for a loving relationship and are always miserable when they are single. They haven't matured or have the self confidence instilled in them to be happy in between relationships, whether short periods or long ones.
2007-07-24 05:54:26 · answer #9 · answered by tombollocks 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Falling in love is intense, consuming, sweet, demanding, confusing, elevating, crushing, humbling, sublime, and euphoric. It demands all of your attention but tells you nothing more than life has profoundly changed. Like a flash flood, it consumes as it quenches. And like a flash flood it is transient.
Lots of water but no irrigation. Still you have to start with water. Hopefully it will develop into a reservoir and channeled for irrigation. Loving is where grow thrives.
2007-07-24 07:47:18 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋