MY HUSBAND.....ok let me calm down here.....is spending his retirement money on a new truck, am I being a nag?

Question

to think this money could straigten Donny and Molly's beaver teeth, replace the windows in the house my husband said my brother did a poor job on and perhaps let me have a bedroom set that is NOT from a 1984 garage sale........
Help, I feel like having a hissy fit. I don't want to ruin vacation (we leave next week for the first time in 3 years) but I am really mad that he feels like this is his money to spend without any impu from me (his company closed and the funds were available)
Thanks and I will hear from you truck lovin men too (:

I have to say I had a good chuckle on the answers Thanks! It helped me to laugh about it. We added that cute baby in the picture so instead of being crammed in my Grand Am, the truck would give the kids more room. No we are in our 40's and I want to assure you that Donny and Molly are cute kids who have teeth but they could use braces!
Thanks for your answers you really let me have my first laugh about this truck that is making me so mad.
PS No I am not married to my brother or from the south! It is a Honda not a Chevy, ya all know no self respecting southern boy would drive THAT LOL

Answer 1

no, you're not being a nag nor are you having a hissy fit! you have every right to be upset that he would spend this money so unwisely.

first of all, it's RETIREMENT MONEY and should be used as such! he should not be touching it at all. he should be putting it into a high interest account to make more money off of it so that when he RETIRES he can live off of it.

Answer 2

Are you being a nag? Yes. Is it a good thing? An emphatic YES. He isn't thinking about your future together. As most men (including myself) do, he is only thinking about immediate gratification.

However, it sounds like you are being a bit selfish yourself. You wouldn't have a problem spending the money on a bedroom set? It's a room that you spend most of your time in when it's dark and can't be enjoyed. Why not skip the vacation and get Donny and Molly's (as you put it), beaver teeth fixed, or replace the windows? If you are going to nag, at least be consistent.

Answer 3

How frustrating!! To feel left out of the important decisions and not being part of financial inssues that will affect your life.
I have many thoughts and visions that come to mind after reading your question. I have learned to tone down a bit over the years. I am not sure why our desicions (women) are questioned by our partners (men), but men tend to make some pretty big decisions on their own. Not giving it a second thought as to our opinion....
Well that is not going to help with your situation, me whinning that is..
If I were you, I would chill out at this time, go on your vacation with your family. Enjoy yourself!!! Don't give the power to someone else.
Meanwhile, I hope you have or will have after reading this...an account in a separate bank, whithout your husbands knowledge or information on the account.
My mother advised me of this move when I was in high school and continued to push for it. She actually gave my sisters and I each a thousand dollars to start this account...Now, I put approxiamtely $50.00 a week into this account. Every week!! This money usually comes from, well...my husband. He has no idea, never misses the small amount, and I have a nice account growing for my security.
Sneeky??? Do I feel guilty??? Naa
not at all.
Some day when my husband and I retire, and we want to take that "cruise" or that "trip around the world".. Buy a vacation home.. Whatever. I'll pull the money out for a nice surprise.
But, if I need the money prior to that, I have it. I have earned this money. I deserve it and so do you!!
Good luck to you. Eventually you will need to talk about this with your husband, otherwise..building resentment and anger can only lead to growing apart and ANGER RISING!!!

Answer 4

sorry not really a truck lovin guy, I'd probably spen a couple thousand on a Gibson Les Paul Guitar, but that aside, I can understand where you're comming from, there are alot of things that the money could really be used for, and there's probably gonna be alot of people on here that will tell you he earned it so he should decide, but I think in a family situation the two of you should sit down and talk about it...maybe after the vacation but definately before he buyus the new truck,does he actually need it or just want it? Oh yeah don't use "you" statements like "you're not thinking about the kids" so it doesn't make him feel like you're attacking him. fo now try and relax and enjoy your vacation.

Answer 5

Well if your old enough to retire that money has to last you through retirement. So it should be spent carefully and you may even want to seek a financial counselor about it. If you are not retired yet I would strongly suggest not to spend money you may need later in life. I am a truck loving truck owning girl but there is no reason you couldn't accomplish much with your money. Say if he buys a nice used truck and then some other things can get taken care of with the rest of the money. Regardless I suggest seeing a qualified financial adviser about anything to do with the future of your finances.

Answer 6

Maybe he needs the truck to haul your house around. LOL!
Sorry, I couldn't help myself. It's just the stuff you put in about straightening beaver teeth (are Donny & Molly cats, or dogs?) Ooops there I go again. :-D

Ok, Ok. I'll get serious here!
In my marriage there's no such thing as her money, & my money when it comes to retirement funds. It's OUR money! The money gets spent the way WE agree on, or it doesn't get spent at all, plain & simple.
Tell him if he wants a happy retirement with you that he can adopt the same approach. If he wants to keep up with the "what's mine is mine" stuff then he can see what a judge thinks of that in divorce court, because that's where this is headed if you two don't work it out real soon. (That was me being serious)

Answer 7

i have a Ford F-150, and i can say, with gas prices the way they are, he could not have found a better sinkhole for his retirement funds. you are right to get upset, because he is acting like a child, and needs to take into consideration something like his children or house repair. the bedroom set, i'm sorry to say, would be low priority for me. don't get me wrong, though, it would come before a new truck.

i think you're right to be upset as you are, but at the same time, you don't have the right to yell and scream at him like you're his mother. just talk to him calmly, ask him if he thinks he's being a little irresponsible with the money, etc., and if that doesn't work, compromise. ask him to spend some money on one thing; braces, windows, or bedroom set, and he can take what's left to put a down payment on the truck. that's the most reasonable and mature way to settle the argument, and it will still allow you to enjoy your vacation. good luck!

Answer 8

In a way, I do feel that it is "his" money to do what he wants with. He's the one that earned it.

But, I'm not saying that you are wrong either.
It really needs to be talked over and come to some type of compromise.
If he wants the truck then ask him how you're going to get the money to fix Donny & Molly's beaver teeth.
Get it worked out before you go on vacation.
Otherwise you're going to be miserable.

Answer 9

Wow. That is a major decision and he didn't get your input or just doesn't care. Will this truck help at all when it comes to his new job? Maybe a more reliable form of transportation? Will he have already bought the truck when you go on your vacation? I would talk to him about maybe buying a truck, just not a brand new one. You are already compromising on the window, sheet set, and teeth by going on this vacation. That is the argument he'll make. Just how important are all the other things to you? Are you willing to trade a vacation for them?

Answer 10

Just like a woman... always being practical.

Ask your husband why the truck now? It's possible he may feel that he sacrifices and never gets anything he wants.

Maybe the two of you can compromise. Maybe he can get a slightly used truck and you get teeth for the kids and a less expensive, but new, bedroom set.

Answer 11

Why not let him have a truck. It is his retirement money. Let the child play around a little. I'm sure that you have some stuff you would like to have too, if you had the means to get them.

Get involved with his "hobby" and enter this "territory" of his, then he will either leave the idea or you will both come together on a whole new area of your marriage.