My husband went on a week trip to training for his job 1 month ago. He has this father who is a bum. He owns 0 and lives off of everyone else. He has moved in with us in the pass and It did not work at all. It was like I was his wife.
We have been married over a yr together for 2 1/2 yrs. We are both in our mid 30s & 1st marrage. I truly love my husband but he has chatted online with other women the whole time we have been together. I do not know if he has cheated, he promises me he has never cheated. We have just about stopped communicating with each other. He is aways short with me and just mean answers.
The day after his trip from training his father shows up at the house. He is there by 9 am. Dad shows up I do not exist. So, about 1 pm I fixed me something to eat. He was really mad & would not talk to me the rest of the day.
Now he saids he loves me wants to come home. We both filed for divorce. We have been so mean to each other for the month. HELP?
2007-07-24 04:56:48 · 14 answers · asked by Sweet_as_pie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sometimes you have to remove yourself from the situation in order to think clearly.
Sounds like that's what your husband did, and now he decided he does want his marriage with you.
The problem with him chatting on-line is, maybe it's easier for him to talk to someone when he's not face to face with them.
You need to open up communication with him.
Sit down ask him about his day, talk to him about your day. That will get the communication started. Try to prolong your conversation as long as you can each time. He will eventually get more comfortable talking with you.
My ex had this problem. Could not talk face to face with me. It caused alot of problems in our marriage (well as you can see, he's my ex). But he was better at writing his feelings down. Which of course he didn't bother to do even that until after our divorce.
Sometimes it's just the way people are, they're better at writing their feelings on paper then they are at discussing it head on.
You 2 know what you have to work on and that's the 1st step is figuring out the problem.
So now if you want to work things out, you know where to start :)
Good luck
2007-07-24 05:10:16 · answer #1 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep your distance. Even if you and your ex have decided to stay friends, take a complete break from each other immediately after the breakup. That means no seeing each other, no phone calls, no e-mails, no Instant Messaging, and most importantly, no sex - not necessarily as a permanent measure (except where sex is concerned), but until you feel that you can converse with him like a normal person, without an ulterior motive (and yes, wanting to get back together counts as an ulterior motive). Also, if he tries to ask you to see him/her, make sure you question yourself of what good can come out of it. You don't want to relive the past by seeing him otherwise you'll get caught up by that moment and it will be hard to let go again.
2016-05-17 08:10:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband at the very least is having an emotional affair. You need to talk to him ASAP about this. You have only been married a year. Why can't he spend the time that he is chatting it up with women on the internet with you? That is what he should be doing. As for his father....throw his sorry *ss in the streets. He is a grown adult and wants to live off others.
2007-07-24 05:06:18 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your husband doesn't have the gumption to stand up for you with his father and moved him in, I think that if you cannot talk with him or communicate, you at least on your end seek out counseling before settling on a divorce. You also need to stand your ground and tell your husband that you will no longer accept his on line tyrants. You deserve a husband that treats you like a queen, not a person to be put upon in a negative way. I'm sure you get my drift!
2007-07-24 05:04:58 · answer #4 · answered by sanwenrya 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Quit feeling and acting like a doormat! Your husband has no business talking to ANY other woman. Face the facts, honey: he's cheating on you (maybe not physically, but definitely verbally). Communication plays a key role in keeping a relationship going, and if he's putting his energy into these other women, of course he has nothing left for you!
As for his dad, stand up to him! It's your home, not his! You, as a woman, needs to be strong and stern. Don't ever be afraid to stand up for what you want. And most definitely, don't be anyone's doormat! Good luck to you!
2007-07-24 05:08:44 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek a marital/family counselor. They can teach you ways to forgive, reconnect and move on. There is no guarantee that you can patch your marriage back together because it takes 100% effort and commitment from both of you. A counselor can close the giant gap between you and get you to a comfortable state of communicating again. Even if you decide to separate, you'll have no regrets if you try everything possible to save your marriage. Good luck.
2007-07-24 05:02:55 · answer #6 · answered by ThatGirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are better off with out him. Go find a real man and not some over grown baby. You are lucky to see him for what he is before children complicate the issue.
2007-07-24 05:01:46 · answer #7 · answered by Willie J 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like the two of you and only the two of you need to seek professional help. Maybe this will help with the communication problem your husband has.
2007-07-24 05:12:05 · answer #8 · answered by llexiann30 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow this sounds like trouble, get rid of the moocher, and ask the husband what the hell is going on here and you want an answer NOW!!!!
2007-07-24 05:12:06 · answer #9 · answered by kim t 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you truly want to fix this move on and cut your losses there are so many wonderful men out there.
2007-07-24 05:10:46 · answer #10 · answered by colieport 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋