a poeme ; my love?

Question

I love u from my heart
I love u from my soul

When u r
From me so far
I look 2 the sky
And say there is my love
He chines ,he is a star
But from me so far

Wen i see him
My heart feers
when i touche him
My heart cries
Is it hapiness
Or is it feer
Of he not knowing
That he is always here
Here in my heart
Chining like a star

If he is so real
Then i m waiting here
Waiting for my star
To shine in my heart

I love u from my heart
I love u from my soul




"" plz write what u think ""

Answer 1

Very Good Poetry

Answer 2

Although I agree with Todd and his comments on "shorthand" in a poem, I'll try to put that aside long enough to actually review the poem. However, his comments are very valid and unless you want to alienate the majority of your readers, be very sure you want to go with this style of writing. Who knows, it may be the way of the future...I can only hope it's not, for poetry's sake.

In any event, your poem is actually pretty good, light perhaps, but not bad. There are, however, some areas you really need to clean up.

Although English may not be your first language, you need to at least do a spell check to correct as many errors as you can before posting. It's "shines", not "chines"(although the last time you used it you spelled it correctly), "when", not "wen", "fear" and "fears", not "feer" and "feers", "touch", not "touche", "happiness", not "hapiness", and "of him not knowing", not "of he not knowing". You could also say, "and he not knowing."

All that being said, your poem, if corrected, is actually a very heartfelt poem, simple and tender, and very soft on the ears.

I like it, I really do, but you need to clean it up a little.

Keep writing, there is a poet in you that only needs some practice with the language

Answer 3

I have to tell you, and this is just my opinion, but I have a hard time when people put Internet shorthand in their poem. When my mind has to turn U into you, or 2 into to, I am violently ripped out of the poem and my enjoyment of it suffers.

If you would like your writing to be taken more seriously please change that habit. I don't want this to sound harsh, but I know I'm not alone in this way.

Take care keep writing.

Answer 4

I think the "chines.." chines..you a lot...
the poem is awsome. keep it up.

Answer 5

i liked Ur poem that u wrote

Answer 6

it's great :)

goodluck, fingers crossed for you